Amy’s Accountability Questions
On a scale of 1 to 10, this week:
1) I have fallen into self-centered, self-absorbed thoughts and have not quickly caught myself to refocus on Jesus.
2) I have fallen into fear of man and been too timid, too approval-seeking, or too self-conscious to speak the truth in love.
3) I missed opportunities to engage in gospel witness or balked at an opening to plant a seed or engage someone God brought to me.
4) I have been too independent and proud to share my struggles with others or ask for advice or prayer.
5) I have been grumpy with my roommate or others.
6) I have saved what I should just throw away or gotten lazy in clutter and stacks of things.
7) I have failed to take time for people or wait on the Lord because I let “task-oriented” thinking rule.
8) I have not been a good steward of my body by indulging in food more than I should have or failing to be disciplined in exercise or eating.
9) I have been self-protective and awkward in crowds because I’m thinking of myself and not seeing myself and others the way God does.
10) I have been lax in disciplining my mind. I have let my brain be lazy and have not reviewed Scripture verses or been intentional in prayer.
11) I have been full of vanity and too much thought of my appearance.
12) I have been mentally judgmental of others and have not “believed all things” and shown grace in my thoughts toward them, leaving them to be accountable to their Master.
13) I have spent time in daydreaming or projecting realities that haven’t really happened.
14) I have let life crowd out time for contemplation and waiting on the Lord.
August 10, 2006
“And these are the sons of Benjamin: Sallu the son of Meshullam, son of Joed, son of Pedaiah, son of Kolaiah, son of Maaseiah, son of Ithiel, son of Jeshaiah, and his brothers, men of valor, 928….And Amashsai, the son of Azarel, son of Ahzai, son of Meshillemoth, son of Immer, and their brothers, mighty men of valor, 128.” Nehemiah 11:7-8, 13b-14a
The names of sons of sons of sons is hard for me to get through at 7:00am. Why this list of unpronounceable names? Men without a face or story. I have given a half-hearted effort at deciphering each name, had to shake myself awake at least twice getting through the first half of chapter 11 alone.
But these were remarkable men, and some of them especially so. These were a remnant of the remnant of Israel, taken into captivity to Babylon, and miraculously, through the God-softened heart of King Artaxerxes, released to the city of their heart, Jerusalem. It was a crushed city, though, and the returned exiles found their temple devastated and their wall, that had risen majestically to encircle the city, leveled to piles of rubble.
For fifty-two days the people toiled to restore the wall, salvaging stones from broken heaps. They fought the sun, which rose unblinking every day to weather their skin and soak their tunics with sweat. They fought fatigue at the pitifully slow progress, worn arms rising again and again, block upon block, against the weight of weariness and doubt. They fought mockers and threats, with a spear or bow within reach, in case the enemies should attack. And after fifty-two days, by the strong arm of their God, the wall was raised.
And after the wall was raised and the temple restored and the covenant renewed with the Lord of mercy, many of the people dispersed. They went to their homes, their hometowns and settled in. But 10% of the people, those chosen by lot or those who willingly offered, stayed in Jerusalem, and these “chiefs of the province” are the ones named in Nehemiah 11. And of these chiefs, men who were sons of sons of sons, a few were called “men of valor.”
I covet the phrase. It rings of a heart that will not tremble and fail when home and dear ones are desolated and an entire generation passes its life in a pagan land. It speaks of a courageous confidence in the mercy of God that propels one to forge the way back to a broken land and labor for the restoration of the holy city and the house of God. It colors a character in shades of sacrifice and nobility.
What does it mean to be a person of valor? What is a man of valor in the land of plenty? A single girl in the urban hood?
At least this:
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might” (Eph 6:10).
“…It is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death” (Phil 1:20).
“…Train yourself for godliness, for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way” (1 Tim 4:7b-8a).
“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (1 Tim 4:12).
“Therefore, do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord…but share in suffering for the gospel by the power of God, who saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works, but because of His own purpose and grace, which He gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began” (2 Tim 1:8-9).
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful” (Heb 10:23).
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:1-2).
“Therefore, let us go to Him outside the camp and bear the reproach He endured. For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come” (Heb 13:13-14).
“In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith…may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
“Though you have not seen Him, you love Him. Though you do not now see Him, you believe in Him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (1 Peter 1:6-9).
Oh, I pray that God will guard me from settling into a stagnant, self-absorbed rhythm of life. I pray that He might bring the right flame and wave to temper my heart so it can beat with hope-filled, Christ-beholding, faith-sustained valor.
* My dad likes to dress me up like a goofball.
* But he also gives me rides on his shoulders. So he's pretty terrific.
* And my momma is not quite as fun, but she gives me kisses and hugs when I look at her with my sweet little face like this.
