Women, Please Consider

As was mentioned to me this morning, here in Minnesota, we have two primary seasons: winter and road construction.

Well, road construction season is at hand, but that's not the only thing summer brings.  I don't think I consciously considered the effect of women's summer clothing until I got married ... and my husband gave his honest perspective.

I wonder what comes to your mind when you hear the term "modesty." 

Leave me alone.
Frumpy old women in turtlenecks and sweatpants.
Guys are the ones with the problem, not me.
Don't make me feel guilty about wanting to be stylish.
You are so irrelevant and out of touch.

This is primarily meant for women who are Christians, but if you're not, I have a word for you at the end.

For my sisters in Christ, I see two primary reasons why modesty is important.

First, for you.  God tells us, "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly"(1 Tim. 2:9).  The message linked at the bottom unpacks that section very helpfully.  Bottom line, modesty is important because it's a reflection of our heart.

One definition of modesty is "dressing with reverence for God and regard for others." Sometimes we have to ask ourselves hard questions about why we wear what we do... Am I trying to attract attention?  Whose values am I reflecting?  What is my motive for wearing this?  Is my physical appearance gaining too high a place in my priorities and passions?

Second, for men.  Especially your brothers in Christ.  For many women, your heart may be right.  You have no desire to be immodest or pose a problem for others.  But sometimes we are not aware of how we may affect others, especially men.  The struggle for purity is strong and constant for virtually all men.  Their call is not just physical purity, but minds and hearts that are free from any impure thoughts.  This is a huge battle, and especially when our culture is bent on provoking lust and drawing their hearts away. 

More than once, Ben has cautioned me about wearing something that I saw no problem with.  "You don't know how guys are wired," he would say.  And I confess that I have been defensive and resistant to his intervention more often than not.  I am modest; don't be so picky! I would think.  But that does not reflect an inclination to seek the good of others who may be weak where I am not. 

"Rather determine this--not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way" (Rom. 14:13).

If you aren't convinced, you can hear a few excerpts of letters from Christian men who are pleading for their sisters to be partners in their fight for purity (click first link below).


And if you're not a Christian, maybe what the Bible has to say doesn't mean much to you.  Yet I urge you to consider, dressing with decency and modesty does not cheapen you.  On the contrary, it demonstrates to men--and to everyone--that you are a person of deep dignity and value.  You are not an object.  You are not willing to expose yourself to just anyone who walks down the street.  You are precious, unique, and worthy of respect.  Maybe that's not something you've heard before, but it's true.

For the message that prompted these thoughts, and a good thought-provoking listen, click here.
And another interesting message, which reflects on the origin of bikinis.

If It Doesn't Kill You

Looking at my calendar today, it struck me as odd that it was only 3 weeks ago that Ben had his birthday.  It was only 2 weeks ago that we went to the emergency room.  It was 1 week ago that we had our first sleeping-through-the-night again, post cold.

Victor and I went to Once Upon a Child today, to get some new shoes (since his toe is poking out of his current pair).  He coughed once.  I don't think I'm normally the paranoid type, but I will admit that to hear him cough makes my heart skip a beat.  A month ago, when he was coming out of his first cold, I was telling someone at church that he had been sick and it had been pretty rough.  He laughed at me (the first-time mom) and waved a hand, saying, "Amy, he'll be fine!" 

I'm sure there is some first-time mom stress involved.  But my experience of his two sick spells of late pressed me closer to excruciating than I have been for a very long time.  More than one night, I lay in bed (or sat in the dark in the living room), listening for Victor, with the minutes ticking by in a helpless, agonizing struggle.

A week ago, he started perking up and showing us his old cheerful self, and I felt like I was panting, like I had been underwater until my lungs ached and finally gasped in some clean, pure air again.  I was in recovery myself, I think, and not just from sleep deprivation.

1 Peter 1 says that God gives us various struggles for a little while--if necessary--for the proof of our faith.  Maybe it's like weight-lifting (which, though you may find it difficult to believe, I participated in twice a week in high school).  You bench press a comfortable weight to start out.  Then you increase it for your second set.  And often times, you'll finish by trying to max it--lift the greatest weight you can handle (which never took a whole lot for me).

After the last set, your arms are shaking.  Your muscles are broken down and exhausted.  (I remember some very awkward attempts to wash my hair post-workout, when I could barely get my arms up to my head.)  But after you've rested for a day or two, you are stronger than you were before.  As they say, if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger.

I don't know if I feel stronger yet.  When I think about Victor getting sick again (and I know it's going to happen), I just feel limp inside.  But God was faithful.  And He will be faithful. 

Last week I listened to this brief discussion with Pastor John on What Is Strong Biblical Womanhood?.  He talks about the woman who laughs at the future (from Proverbs 31), who does what is right without being frightened by any fear (from 1 Peter 2).  I want to be a woman like that. 

I don't have strong faith.  But I have a strong God.  And since He's patient and wise and good, He doesn't give suffering to crush but to strengthen my faith.  May it be.

The Ultimate Meaning of True Womanhood

This message by John Piper was so encouraging to me:

The Ultimate Meaning of True Womanhood from Desiring God