How to Find the Time

As a follower of Jesus, you want to have regular time in the Word and prayer. That doesn't mean it’s easy to carve it out each day. But you want it. 

Let me lean in here.

Why is regular time with the Lord of crucial value? Consider just 10 reasons.

• Because our hearts are fickle and forgetful.  
• Because the world is dark and darkening.
• Because our families, our neighbors, our co-workers, our children, our friends, and the strangers who pass us in the grocery store are eternal souls.
• Because apart from Jesus we can do nothing.
• Because we have a new identity, a new calling, and we need clear vision of what our Savior and Lord wants for us today.
• Because we need wisdom.
• Because we need correction.
• Because we need God's promises.
• Because facing life is terrifying when we forget who holds all the molecules and moments in His hand.
• Because our hearts will ceaselessly crave lesser things if we miss the quenching, refreshing joy of drawing near to God.

Are you with me? This is important. 

Second, if we see the importance, why is it so hard to implement? If you've ever tried and failed to establish regular time with God, you know it surely is.

Another 10 reasons:

• Because our enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
• Because little kids wake up early.
• Because work, school, bills, housework, yardwork, sports, laundry, dishes, meal prep, shopping, driving, meetings, and church activities demand our attention.
• Because it's very hard to concentrate.
• Because it is noisy.
• Because interruptions constantly bombard us.
• Because the Bible can be hard to understand.
• Because our phones are right. there.
• Because we are very tired.
• Because we feel guilty about not doing it enough, or right, or at all.

Quick reminder: why do we want to meet with God? 

Not to gain His favor or approval. 

Not to maintain a certain level of spirituality.

Not to prevent bad things from happening or offer penance for our mistakes.

In Christ, we are beloved. The door has been flung open to commune with God, hear from Him, pour out our hearts to Him, and grow in the reflection of Christ. That’s why.

Another clarification: having a plan for your time with God is not legalism. It is the essential work of establishing a priority. Every important area of life requires purpose and planning to flourish.

For that reason, let’s get practical ...

Step 1: Ask God for help. 

Our biggest obstacles to time with God are not schedules, children, or our many responsibilities. Our biggest obstacles are in our own heart (accentuated by obstacles from the world and the devil). So ask God to knock them all over and make time with Him a daily privilege and delight. 

Step 2: Assess your daily rhythm. 

Establishing regular time with God is very challenging when life doesn’t operate in a tidy schedule. In addition, life is a series of changing seasons. Just when you find a pattern that fits one stage of life, something changes.

However, that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to plan time with God. It simply may not work the same way every day, every week, or every year. 

So consider: Right now, what are the times in your day where you are freest from other demands? Where do you get to decide what you will do with a chunk of time? (This might be naptime, evenings, the first hour of the day, a block of time when kids are at school, or your lunch break.)

Step 3: Consider the competition. 

Another piece to the puzzle is identifying what absorbs spare moments right now.

For a day or two, observe your day like a careful budgeter. Assess your responsibilities but also those spare minutes here and there that are “slush time.” (“Slush time” is where you default when you catch a spare moment … maybe Facebook, grabbing a podcast or newscast, scrolling on your phone, Netflix, checking email, or cleaning a closet.)

Repurposing “slush time” may be a way of creating time with God.

Step 4: Plan the time and set a reminder.

As you seek God’s help and review your daily rhythm, choose a block of time that seems most consistently free and set it aside for time with God.

Then do what you would do if you set any other important meeting. Put it on your calendar, set a reminder on your phone, communicate with your spouse, block it on your work schedule, or so forth.

However odd it may feel, these steps are just the practical implementation of your highest priorities.

Step 5: Plan the where and what.

Next you need a simple plan for where you will be and what you will do during your time with God. 

Here are a few suggestions:

• Take advantage of the double blessing of God’s word with God’s people by joining a Bible study at your local church. 
• Follow a Bible reading plan, ideally with the fellowship of others. Here’s one such option. 
• Open and close your time with prayer, and pray in the middle. More than a mental or academic exercise, this time is for communion, renewal, and refreshment of your heart with the Lord.

Step 6: Do some troubleshooting.

What is most likely to crash your plan?

Keep a pad of paper or your phone nearby to briefly log to-do items that come to mind in the midst of your quiet time. These thoughts are not a sign of spiritual weakness! God is with you in all the details of life, but those things can likely be recorded and dealt with later.

If your children are a frequent interruption, consider some preventative measures. Set their expectations and provide helpful boundaries (Mommy is going to read and pray for 30 minutes now, and I will see you when I’m done.) Recruit help from your husband. 

Remember that you are loving your family by preserving time with the Lord. It is worth every creative effort to build this into your rhythm of life.

Step 7: Arm yourself for emergencies.

In a fallen world, even the best plan is likely to flop at times.

A new baby, the stomach flu, your husband’s travel, or a family crisis shake things up. This is not failure. And it doesn’t mean that you have lost communion with God, even if your planned time is missed.

Consider an arsenal of options for these emergency days:

• Play an audio Bible in the car, while you’re doing dishes, or as the backdrop to your regular activities.
• Let memorized Scripture feed your heart during middle-of-the-night awakenings or the briefest pauses in your day (during a bathroom break, while you sort laundry, walking to the mailbox, or while you brush your teeth).
• Pour out your heart to God, express your weakness and your desire to get time with Him, and hold fast to the promise of His unshakable love and care for you.

May every day be sweetened by time with God, no matter your schedule or season of life.

'Tis So Sweet

You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours." Yeah, and it's truth too.

Last week, for example.

My back began hurting.
The washer broke.
Our neighbor delivered some horribly sad and troubling news about our friends across the street.
Our kitchen light stopped working.
The dryer vent came unplugged from the wall.
My tongue hurt.
Rebellion and hardness of heart seemed the prevailing attitude of one of our children.
Our youngest son screamed for two and a half hours after being put to bed one night.
My husband and son saw a mouse run across the kitchen floor.
I experienced nights of lying awake for hours, unable to sleep.

This particular list of experiences may not match your own, but I don't doubt you have walked through a similar season of "why is everything going wrong?"

And what does that do to our heart?

If you are like me, the instinctive response is an ugly combination of fear, frustration, anger, questioning, and self-pity. Sometimes bitterness, jealousy of others (who may have had a good day), and unkindness join the mix. To be honest, I can even feel justified in shaking my fist at God or lashing out at the people in closest proximity to me because, well, this is really yucky.

It is not natural to me to stop for a moment and reflect on the purposes of God in it all. But in his remarkable mercy, God has chosen to speak to his people. And in his word, he even gives us some sweet glimpses of his behind-the-scenes purposes when we encounter this colorful kaleidoscope of trouble.

At the bottom of our struggle comes a beautiful promise, a promise told and reiterated throughout the Bible.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.--Philippians 1:6

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren.--Romans 8:28-29

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.--James 1:2-4

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.--1 Peter 1:6-7

For this slight, momentary affliction is preparing for you an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things which are seen, but to the things that are unseen, for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.---2 Corinthians 4:17-18

It seems that, despite our instinct to trust our senses--our ability to see and make sense of all we encounter--God prizes and purposes to craft within us faith ... an ability to rest in him, hope in him, and trust him when the lights go out.

And while these "pop quizzes" of faith may not be the gift of grace that we would choose given alternate options, with the lens of truth God can help us receive them as a sweet opportunity to grow in trusting Christ.

The Biggest Problem

What is your biggest problem right now?

If you're like me, ideas come easily to mind.

Money problems.
Kids who disobey.
Lack of sleep.
Stressful relationships at work.
A husband who doesn't understand.
No husband at all.

Whatever the list, my tendency (and maybe yours?) is to totally miss the real problem.

Here's the worst case scenario.

1 Cor. 15:16-17 "For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless, you are still in your sins."

There is no resurrection.
Christ has not been raised.
Your faith is worthless.
You are still in your sins.

Let the shock and horror of that land, just for a second.

Under judgment.
Lost forever.
Without hope, without God in the world.
Absolute despair of pardon.
Eternal separation from God.
Hell.

That, my friends, is a desperate, awful prospect.

And now, let the word of truth fill that picture with reality (and let the relief flood over you).

Christ has come.
Death is defeated.
He is risen.
Your faith--albeit weak or unsteady--if in Christ is not in vain.
You will never be alone.
Nothing can snatch you from His love.
Christ has triumphed, and in Him, God has purposed for all of eternity to cover you with kindness.

Hope spreads before you like an eternal ocean, because you are His and He is yours.

Where is your biggest problem?

It is crushed and disarmed by the death-defying, hope-bringing resurrection of Jesus.

On Romans 8:38-39

God is sovereign over death.

The moment the cord is broken is never accidental, whether it comes by a long-fought battle with cancer, a freak accident, a ferocious attack, miscarriage, or sweet, silent sleeping into eternity.

God is sovereign over life.

He governs the womb, can close it or open it (even at 90 years old), chooses the moment of new life, weaves every strand of DNA together, sets each family in place with the shape, color, and combination of people He desires. He can preserve life at no effort or expenditure of labor, regardless of any human diagnosis. Near-death experiences are not near anything to Him. Life expectancy is a merely human notion.

God is sovereign over angels.

They do His bidding absolutely and always. They are the mighty ones who do His work, obeying the voice of His word. All the hosts in all places of His dominion are fully under His control. They are ministering spirits, who do what He sends them to do.

God is sovereign over demons.

The enemy forces are strong and thick. They manipulate human hearts and plant lies. They wreak deception, death, and destruction. But if He determines it is time for them to leave a place, they will go. If they would desire something otherwise, they must implore Him (and perhaps He will mercifully send them into a herd of pigs, but only if He so desires).

God is sovereign over the present.

Look around you, at the combination of struggles, pleasures, personalities, gifts, and limitations you experience right now. God has set you in this place. He determines the red lights we hit, the flu virus picked up on a cart handle, the moment of sweetness in a toddler, the pile of dirty dishes that ceaselessly advances, the computer glitches, the pot of hot coffee, the food in the fridge, the pants that are getting a bit too tight.

God is sovereign over the future.

Our imaginations can paint a million pictures of what tomorrow may bring: horrific nightmares of all that could befall us and empty daydreams of how it will go if we have things our way. But our story is written in God's book already. He knows the precise turn of plot that we will face. No experience or struggle will catch Him off guard. No difficulty will come without its predetermined grace and purpose. There are new mercies for each morning, and He knows and holds them all for precisely the right moment.

God is sovereign over all powers.

The manipulations of a boss, the eye of a hurricane, the empty promises of a politician, the repentance of a spouse, the tide that pulls you under or sends you back to shore, the dripping water that slowly erodes, the forces that swirl around us, so far beyond our ability to control or even understand. They are each in His hand. No wind blows except at His bidding. The clouds are the dust of His feet.

God is sovereign over height.

The space shuttle that exploded, the plane that soars, the stars that dance in unfathomable space, the lofty plans of aspiration and ambition, the day when everything just goes right.

God is sovereign over depth.

The secret fish at the bottom of the ocean, the pit of despair you can't even imagine crawling out of, the lost treasure that slowly rusts away from any human eye, the crushed and heart-broken.

God is sovereign over every created thing.

Did something get missed? God is sovereign over it. If it exists, and He made it, then it falls within His realm of authority. The tiniest molecule and cosmic expanses.

And you, the movements of your heart, the secret longings, hidden sins, ability to hunger and thirst after what is good or what is evil. All is in His hand.


And if God is indeed sovereign over all that, then none of it can intervene with His determination to love those whom He has chosen. 

Good News in Romans 8

In Christ...

• We have no condemnation (1)
• We are free from the law of sin and death (2)
• Christ fulfilled the requirement of the Law for us (4) 
• We may set our mind on the things of the Spirit and find life and peace (5)
• We belong to Christ (9)
• Our spirit is alive because of righteousness (10)
• Life will be granted to our mortal bodies (11)
• We are not under obligation to live according to the flesh, which leads to death (12)
• We may put to death the deeds of the body by the Spirit, and live (13)
• We are sons of God (14)
• We have received a spirit of adoption as sons, by which we may call, "Abba! Father!" (15)
• The Spirit confirms with our spirit that we are children of God, and thus heirs with Christ (16)
• Our sufferings with Christ confirm that we will also be glorified with Christ (17)
• Great glory will be revealed to us (18)
• We eagerly wait for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body (23)
• We are saved in hope, knowing that we will see the full reality one day (24-25)
• The Spirit helps us and intercedes for us (26)
• God causes everything to work together for our good, to conform us to Christ's likeness (28-29)
• We are predestined, called, justified, and glorified (30)
• God is for us (31)
• God justifies us (33)
• Christ intercedes for us (34)
• Suffering cannot thwart Christ's love for us (36)
• We overwhelmingly conquer through Christ (37)
• We are utterly inseparable from God's love in Christ, now and forever (38-39)

Thinking True Things

September is almost here. Ben's first week of classes is done (aand... he's feeling that familiar sensation of homework overload again/already).

I love fall.
But, today I'm feeling kinda melancholy.

The school year feels a little lonely after the long and lovely weeks of summer, having Ben here and available so much. And I miss my sisters (especially with my little sister walking this crazy road of Guillain-Berra). And there's a lot of hurt in a lot of people.

So, some words of truth to hang onto.

He does not delight in the strength of the horse; He does not take pleasure in the legs of a man. The LORD delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love. (Psalm 147:10-11, half NASB, half NIV)

The LORD is righteous in all His ways, and kind in all His deeds. The LORD is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them. (Psalm 145:17-19)

Therefore, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord. (1 Corinthians 15:58)

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith. (Galatians 6:9-10)

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? (Romans 8:31-32)

And something I read earlier and wanted to remember:

When we suffer, we long for God to speak clearly, to tell us the end of the story and, most of all, to show himself. But if he showed himself fully and immediately, if he answered all the questions, we'd never grow; we'd never emerge from our chrysalis because we'd be forever dependent. ... No one works like him. He is such a lover of souls. (Miller, The Praying Life, p 193-194)

When I Don't Understand

God is smarter than me.

I believe this. Most people would not argue the fact.

Nevertheless, when things don't go right, when God's plans don't make sense to me, how fast do I complain, question, chaff, and doubt His goodness?

Romans 11:34 says, "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor?"

A counselor to God? I'll be honest. I've given Him plenty of advice over the years.

But when it comes right down to it, when I remember who He is and who I am, I am thankful that He is wiser and stronger and in control.

As You Prepare to Face the Day

Sometimes the day starts so early, it rather bleeds in from the sleepless night.

Sometimes you may wake and groan to think about what is coming and wish to throw the covers over your head and return to oblivion.

Sometimes the memory of yesterday seems already to have tainted today, and it seems hopeless to look for any redemption of the junk you walked through then and most likely will slog through now.

I've had those days.

Days when I woke up barely human, not to even speak of Christian.

What fits us to face the day?

Well, here are a few anchors anyway:

...Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit (Ephesians 2:20b-22).

 A wildly mind-boggling thought. We are in Jesus being built into a home for God in the Spirit. We are in Christ and in the Spirit, and God is in us. How much closer could He be, in remarkable Triune companionship?

Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust (2 Peter 1:3-4).

Everything pertaining to life and godliness. That is quite comprehensive. If it relates whatsoever to life ... or godliness ... then God (who has Divine Power, which must be very strong indeed) has granted what we need. Through knowing Him (we may know Him, God Himself?! Amazing.). And through His promises, we may become partakers in His own holy nature. Which sounds like something we should never dream possible, except that He said so, Himself.

The LORD's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the LORD (Lamentations 3:22-26).

Some of you, some friends today, will wake up to a hard day. I know that (though I may not know the half of it). Oh, may the relentless lovingkindness of the LORD find you. May the new mercies meet every need today, while you quietly wait for Him to work on your behalf. We have a God who brings salvation of every  kind, from every peril. And He has already showed us the end of the story (a truly, deeply happy ending). To have Him as our own portion is to have hope.

I pray you see Him in this day, since that makes all the difference. Much grace to you today.

To Live For Another

I've been having a neighborhood Bible study with a couple ladies for the past month. Getting ready for tomorrow night's study, this verse popped out at me:

And He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf (2 Corinthians 5:15).

 Not living for myself. It's almost laughable how far short I routinely fall from that great call, but what a liberating purpose of Christ's death.

If I'm not living for myself, I don't have to self-protect and try to preserve peoples' good impressions with false piety.

If I'm not living for myself, I don't have to excessively feed insatiable cravings ... whether for sleep, dessert, approval, efficiency, or comfort.

If I'm not living for myself, it's okay when my agenda gets scrambled by sick kids, unexpected company, toddler temper tantrums, and computer malfunctions. Interruptions don't have to ruin my day.

If I'm not living for myself, I need not fear the unexpected. If I have an open hand to receive what God sees good to give me, then I am in a very safe place. With a good Shepherd and kind Father tending my needs, even when I don't understand how it all works out for good.

If I'm not living for myself, my sins and failures will humble me and press me back to dependence on Jesus. I won't resist the conviction of the Holy Spirit and refuse to acknowledge when I've veered off His way and need to turn back to Him.

If I'm not living for myself, I won't end my days with hopeless regret and remorse. I will be spared such sorrow and bondage. I will taste hope and see those sweet every-morning mercies from the One who proved by laying down His own life that He will spare no expense for my good.

Ah, Lord, I've such a long way to go. But help me to come a step closer to consistently living for You.

Attack of the Killer To Do List

To Do Today:

- Unload the dishwasher
- Load the dishwasher
- Run the dishwasher
- Fold clothes in the dryer
- Wash clothes in the basket
- Wash sheets
- Put away clothes
- Go to staff farewell lunch
- Go to final BCS wives gathering
- Go to the office to print off interview assignments
- Go to the park with Victor
- Call the hospital where we delivered Josiah
- Call the pediatrician
- Call the OB office
- Buy Father's Day gift for Ben
- Work 4 hours
- Feed Josiah (6-8 times)
- Feed Victor
- Feed Ben
- Pick up toys
- Pick up papers
- Pick up books
- Pick up shoes
- Proctor Ben's exam
- Write thank you notes
- Pack lunch for tomorrow
- Read Bible
- Pray (these things should not be at the bottom of the list!)
- Sleep (right...)

I know this ferocious monster does not attack only me.  Proof of its violence, of course, is that I started writing this post almost a week ago.

It's not just that there's a lot to do.  Everyone everywhere has a lot to do. 

The real bite of the killer to do list comes in my assessment (conscious or not) of success in a day based on the percentage I get crossed off the list.

42%.  Failure.

Despite the fact that the average day's list requires about 72 hours of labor to complete, there is still a sometimes overwhelming sense of  pressure to get. it. all. done.  And, of course, life intervenes.

Crying baby.  Blowout diaper.  Antsy 2-year-old.  Spilled milk. 

When the to do list hovers over my head like the gray cloud over Eeyore, I am not positioned well to respond with grace and flexibility to the needs and opportunities that pop up in the middle of every day. 

I am tempted to gripe and snap at these interruptions to productivity, rather than welcome them as the real call of God for my care and attention at the moment.

And at the bottom of it lies a very simple promise from God: He intends me to do only 24-hours' worth of activity (sleep included) in any given day... and my faithfulness is not governed by any external list, no matter how pressing its contents.

Rather, faithfulness is a dependent and grace-filled response to the needs He sets in my path.

May I receive His agenda with a light heart and open hand.

Mothering: Hold On, Let Go

When life hits a big bend in the road, it definitely illuminates the things you most prize.

Security.
Comfort.
Predictability.
Productivity.

Receiving the gift of a child comes as a package deal: priceless soft skin, sweet milk dribbling from the corner of a little mouth, painful wake-up calls every 3 hours (or sooner), soft cooing, diaper rash, spit-up, teeny-tiny newborn sleepers, inexplicable bloody screaming, and general upheaval from whatever used to be normal.

Having a couple of those packages now, I see something of what 1 Timothy 2:15 was talking about: But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.

Of course, no woman is saved by having a baby... all that pain and blood and exhaustion is not redemptive in itself.  But to continue in faith and love and sanctity, with self-restraint... to walk the hard (and very sweet... but very hard) road of coughs and food allergies and mastitis and temper tantrums and potty training and sometimes unrelenting 24-hour duty of caring for small people who are vulnerable, immature, and needy... it presses one down to the very bottom of self-sufficiency and into trust in the One who is bigger. 

Every family has its stories of blood, sweat, and gore, when absolutely everything was more than they could handle (stomach flu, finals, colic, joblessness, bankruptcy, insomnia, allergies... often all piled together).  Families are, perhaps, destined to wear the brokenness of this world like war wounds; almost killed us, survived by a hair, stronger now.

And even when the times are good, parenting is full of heartache. 

Just look at how big the kids are getting.  Feel the good-bye on the horizon (in 18 years or sometime sooner), when your season of care is over and God draws them onward to their own independent adventure in life.  Your heart gets all braided together with the fibers of these small people, and in the end, God doesn't intend for them to stay with you.  Perhaps a bit like Mary the mother of Jesus, every parent may feel the sword pierce your own heart whenever it strikes them... but you can't take it for them.

It calls for a particular kind of courage, the kind of gentle and quiet heart that will receive with an open hand all the good, the bad, and the ugly that God deems wise to send... and relinquish with an open hand when the season turns and something priceless has to be let go.

And in the process, I think God burns out a lot of selfishness and self-confidence and leaves us a bit more ready to call heaven home.

Guard Your Heart

This is just an excellent message from Wayne Grudem about the priority of guarding our hearts.

Dangers of Discipline, Part 2

Continued thoughts...

4. Shame

We have probably all been in a situation before where someone (stranger or friend) reamed out their child in front of a crowd.  Maybe it was thoughtlessly done, or maybe it was an intentional tactic to try to change the child's behavior, but whatever the case, dishonoring or shaming a child is a danger in discipline.

Sometimes we can do the right thing (in addressing wrong or foolish behavior) the wrong way, in the wrong tone, or at the wrong time. 

The Bible talks about the pain of dishonor.  Even in a situation where the psalmist confesses sin and folly before the Lord (Psalm 69:5), he still asks for relief and comfort from being shamed and dishonored (69:19-20).

So it seems significant that we as parents seek to discipline and correct in a way that does not wrongly embarrass or dishonor our children.  Perhaps some insight for a careful approach comes from Matthew 18:15, If your brother [child] sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother [child].

5. Legalism

Legalism tempts us to see our own good efforts as a tool in gaining ground with God.  

It is a real and present danger, in training our children, that they may get the impression that their following our rules and complying with our desires actually earns them brownie points or good standing with God.

We need to be careful even in how we praise obedience or good behavior.  I certainly know that as a mother, it makes my life easier when my son is listening and obeying right away.  I feel proud, thankful, and encouraged.  That's fine.  But what a danger, if I am lulled into a false sense of security and contentedness because I have a compliant child.

Galatians 3:11-14 says, Now that no one is justified by the Law before God is evident, for, "The righteous man shall live by faith." However, the Law is not of faith; on the contrary, "He who practices them shall live by them."  Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us... so that we would receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

The gospel says that we don't and can't earn points with God from our good efforts.  (They are filthy rags.)  But Christ came and lived in such perfection that He satisfied the call of the Law.  And if we trust in Him, then our guilt was put on His head and punished at the cross, and his perfect record is put on us, and we are called righteous before God.

That is what we want to set before our children, again and again.

6. Fear of man

Maybe this is an especially strong danger in church.  When we feel that our skill, wisdom, and expertise in parenting is some kind of record we need to keep up, fear of man can become the ruling factor in our response to any form of imperfection in our children.

What emotions stir when your child starts making noise in the middle of a church service?  Is your response different when disobedience occurs in front of people, rather than in private?  How much of your discipline is motivated by what people will think?

Fear of man--which is really another form of pride--is a very frequent temptation for me, so it takes a lot of prayer and dependence on the Holy Spirit to keep my perspective focused on truth, and my desire centered on pleasing just the audience of One who really matters.

Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; for why should he be esteemed?--Isaiah 2:22

To be continued...

10 Dangers of Discipline, Part 1

Parenting is full of delight.  What a gift from God.

But it's full of lots of other things too.  Exhaustion, puzzlement, challenge.  I was reflecting a couple days ago about discipline--so essential for parenting.  One of our main ways to love the little people entrusted to our care.

And yet, with the wicked, sinful hearts we come with (not to speak of our kids'!), it's full of dangers... ways that we can distort the reflection of God's faithful, persevering discipline of His children.

Here's a list of 10 ways I thought of that we can miss the boat in discipline. Most points on this list came from considering the wrong impulses or temptations of my own heart.  It's surely not exhaustive, but maybe it will be helpful in thinking through and asking for God's help for more God-reflecting discipline in our homes.

1. Harshness and anger

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart (Colossians 3:21).

When children seem to be intentionally pushing your buttons... when you're tired... when it feels absolutely unreasonable that they are choosing this most inconvenient moment to rebel... it is easy to lash out with (often self-righteous) anger and harshness.

How it must grieve the Lord when I fail to reflect His "compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness" character (Exodus 34:6).  

2. Lethargy and fatigue

Sometimes it feels like just. too. much. to respond one more time.  We may overlook disobedience or quiet rebellion, not because of prudent grace but because it's exhausting to step in, address the situation, and walk through the process, again, of training, correction, and restoration.

Sometimes you can almost feel the little one's spirit pushing, testing to see if he can get away with something if he just tries long enough.  It takes a lot of stamina, some days, to stay in the game.

But we are the earliest pictures of God given to our children, and we want to make a true reflection of His never-ending intervention for the good of our hearts.  So it is a gift to our children when we lean into grace for the strength to step in one more time when it's needed. 

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary (Galatians 6:9).

3. Distraction

Maybe this wouldn't seem like a danger, more like a state-of-being for parents with small children (especially more than one).  Life is full of shifting priorities and more demands on our time than resources to supply.

But it is a real danger that we may forget the long-range importance of some things like discipline, under the louder-shouting urgency of other things.

When I'm in the middle of something, I'm often more likely to ignore behavior that should be responded to, simply because it means breaking away from what I'm in the middle of. I may subconsciously rationalize overlooking trouble, even though I would agree that finishing my grocery list is not as important as taking a teaching moment with my child.  

It struck home when I was reading this morning and came across this:

His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin.  He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray (Proverbs 5:22-23).

I can forget that lack of instruction may be far more dangerous for my children than lack of milk and toilet paper.

To be continued...

Cashing Checks

As my husband is fond of quoting, Spurgeon says:

A promise from God may very instructively be compared to a check payable to order. It is given to the believer with the view of bestowing upon him some good thing. It is not meant that he should read it over comfortably, and then have done with it.

No, he is to treat the promise as a reality, as a man treats a check. He is to take the promise, and endorse it with his own name by personally receiving it as true. He is by faith to accept it as his own. ...

This done, he must believingly present the promise to the Lord, as a man presents a check at the counter of the Bank. He must plead it by prayer, expecting to have it fulfilled.

I was thinking tonight of all that I would wish for God to do in and for our family.  So much I want Him to guard us from.  So much for Him to enable us for.  So much for Him to provide.  So much for Him to teach and grow.

It's convicting, to realize how often I read lavish promises in the Bible and then more or less forget them.  So as a starting point, I pulled out some index cards to write some concrete prayer points from where I was reading today.  Not difficult, and a very big encouragement.  I hope to keep it up.

So tonight, I'm praying for our family...

- That we will not rely on our own abilities or resources, but trust in God's awesome resurrecting power. ...indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead. --2 Corinthians 1:9

- That the Lord would give us peaceful, refreshing sleep, that we would give Him all our worries and cares, and that He would guard us and shelter us from all harm. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety. --Psalm 4:8

- That the Lord will give us a desire for communion with God and would enable us to pray fervently, without ceasing, and with great, eager faith. In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch. --Psalm 5:3

- That the Lord will help us wisely hold back words that do not give grace and do not fit the moment's need. He who guards his mouth and tongue guards his soul from troubles. --Proverbs 21:23


May He do far more abundantly beyond all we could ask or think!

Busy Morning

Mondays always start early, since Ben heads off to work at 6:15am.

I will confess to feeling a general sense of exhaustion and dread this morning, anticipating the day. (Victor slept through the night last night, but out of force of habit I suppose, I didn't.) I was curled up in the big blue chair at 5:30am, feeling a little too cross-eyed to read my Bible, and pondering Psalm 23.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He restores my soul.

I'll be honest, I was skeptical.

But rousing something probably less impressive than a mustard seed, I tried to lean into that promise and face the day with faith in God's faithfulness.

And the Lord was very kind.  I felt energy and cheerfulness to move into the week with more buoyancy than has been normal of late.

And the morning was very busy.  Victor and I packed Daddy's lunch, sliced a loaf of bread, ate two fried eggs (that was Victor, ug), started two loads of laundry, re-organized the pantry shelves, built a tower, pulled a cart full of blocks, washed dishes, and went for a walk before Victor's 8:30am nap.

Thankful for the Lord's kindness yet again.

If It Doesn't Kill You

Looking at my calendar today, it struck me as odd that it was only 3 weeks ago that Ben had his birthday.  It was only 2 weeks ago that we went to the emergency room.  It was 1 week ago that we had our first sleeping-through-the-night again, post cold.

Victor and I went to Once Upon a Child today, to get some new shoes (since his toe is poking out of his current pair).  He coughed once.  I don't think I'm normally the paranoid type, but I will admit that to hear him cough makes my heart skip a beat.  A month ago, when he was coming out of his first cold, I was telling someone at church that he had been sick and it had been pretty rough.  He laughed at me (the first-time mom) and waved a hand, saying, "Amy, he'll be fine!" 

I'm sure there is some first-time mom stress involved.  But my experience of his two sick spells of late pressed me closer to excruciating than I have been for a very long time.  More than one night, I lay in bed (or sat in the dark in the living room), listening for Victor, with the minutes ticking by in a helpless, agonizing struggle.

A week ago, he started perking up and showing us his old cheerful self, and I felt like I was panting, like I had been underwater until my lungs ached and finally gasped in some clean, pure air again.  I was in recovery myself, I think, and not just from sleep deprivation.

1 Peter 1 says that God gives us various struggles for a little while--if necessary--for the proof of our faith.  Maybe it's like weight-lifting (which, though you may find it difficult to believe, I participated in twice a week in high school).  You bench press a comfortable weight to start out.  Then you increase it for your second set.  And often times, you'll finish by trying to max it--lift the greatest weight you can handle (which never took a whole lot for me).

After the last set, your arms are shaking.  Your muscles are broken down and exhausted.  (I remember some very awkward attempts to wash my hair post-workout, when I could barely get my arms up to my head.)  But after you've rested for a day or two, you are stronger than you were before.  As they say, if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger.

I don't know if I feel stronger yet.  When I think about Victor getting sick again (and I know it's going to happen), I just feel limp inside.  But God was faithful.  And He will be faithful. 

Last week I listened to this brief discussion with Pastor John on What Is Strong Biblical Womanhood?.  He talks about the woman who laughs at the future (from Proverbs 31), who does what is right without being frightened by any fear (from 1 Peter 2).  I want to be a woman like that. 

I don't have strong faith.  But I have a strong God.  And since He's patient and wise and good, He doesn't give suffering to crush but to strengthen my faith.  May it be.