How Was Your Christmas?

We were in Iowa last week, staying at my parents' along with the Canada crew and their 4 kids.  We had our week all planned out with various outings and special gatherings.

During the night last Saturday, little Silas got sick.  He vomited in the night and had some diarrhea... not what any mommy hopes for, but he seemed to be over the worst of it in about a day.  We bleached toys and washed hands and hoped...

We cancelled our visit with Grandma Vaupel, so as not to expose her to anything.

On Christmas Eve morning, Kate got sick.  Krista and I were responsible for our special dinner that night (walking tacos), and I was just finishing the taco meat when I picked up Victor.  He had told Grammy that something hurt... and then he puked up the total contents of his lunch all over us. 

We showered, put on fuzzy pajamas, and started watching our singing children video, and he puked again.  So we changed pajamas again.  Then he puked again.  And again.  He would cry and say, "No thank you, no thank you!" and try to avoid the bucket.  We gave up trying to change pajamas and put a t-shirt over his pjs to try to keep most of it off him.  He fell asleep, exhausted, on my lap, but kept throwing up every 15 min, even in his sleep.  We gave up on the bucket and just tried to wipe it off with a towel. 

I decided to put him down in his pack-n-play and see if he'd be able to sleep more deeply and stop vomiting, but he still heaved regularly, writhing around and choking up spit and bile.  I tried to swab out his mouth so he wouldn't swallow it back.

It was a wretched night, the vomit unrelenting. 

The night crawled on into the wee hours.  After another bout, I held his little sleeping form while baby brother kicked my belly underneath.  It was quiet and lonely, not the Christmas Eve of family game-playing and treats we had planned.

It struck me that this was probably much closer to the experience of that first Christmas, the night when Jesus came. 

As far as we know, Mary was alone in the dark, concerned for her baby, far away from family, without even the rudimentary comforts of home.  Smelly, bloody, dirty, dark.  Not where she probably expected to deliver her son.  Not what she would have hoped for, probably even prayed for.  Not enjoying the sweet support of family and rejoicing with neighbors.  Not at home in her own surroundings, with privacy and help and good care.

Yet she received it, the whole package appointed to her: "Behold the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word." 

That introduction into this dark, broken, hurting world set the stage for her Son's whole life.  He was not handsome and popular.  Did not have a bed to call His own.  Was continually misunderstood and misused.  He was targeted for death in early childhood, assumed to be an outcast of God, and deserted by His own friends.  He wept and prayed in a garden that God might open another way.  But He went on to the crowning achievement of His life--His very purpose in coming--to die by shameful, ugly, hateful, unjust execution.  A day when everything seemed to go so wrong that nothing in the universe could set it right.

And there under the surface, where mortals couldn't yet glimpse, God accomplished the most glorious, hope-filling, joy-exploding, life-transforming miracle history could ever hold.  He cancelled the power of sin and death.  He made Jesus to be our peace.  He made His own life a payment for our sin and gave His perfect record to us before God.  He bought favor and only good for all those who turn to Him.

The rest of our story:

Victor threw up 20-30 times that night (I lost count).  I caught the bug on Christmas morning and ended up in the ER to get fluids for dehydration.  All 11 occupants of our house were hit by the virus, and we needed to cancel everything--the big family Christmas gift opening, Mom's amazing ham ball dinner, the mother-daughter girls' outing, the catered meal to celebrate our parents' 40th wedding anniversary.  Round 2 (or some kind of relapse) hit Ezra, Janessa, and Victor with more vomiting at the end of the week.

But how was our Christmas?

Really, when we put it in the big picture, it was wonderful.  As wonderful as the grace that Jesus bought for us when He entered this broken world to set it right forever.

Advent: Days 13-17

Friday, Dec 13: Go to an Ugly Christmas Sweater Party (Daddy) and deliver a "You've Been Socked" Christmas stocking (Mom and Victor).

Today Daddy got to go to work later than normal, so we had a fun morning together with Swedish pancakes and lots of train fun.  Then Victor and I went to the office to have lunch with him and get a little work done.

Tonight he was off for a festive Ugly Sweater Party with the senior highers (V and I were hoping to attend as well, but it was too far away...).  But we didn't have to just mope alone at home!  First we skyped with Grammy and Grandad, and then we assembled a Christmas stocking full of goodies to deliver to our neighbors across the street.

Earlier this week, a friend from church "socked" us (gave us the aforementioned Christmas stocking with a whole slew of fun treats), and then we were to fill it up again and give it to someone else, who would pass it on to someone else, etc. 

Mr. Dave and Miss Karen were at home and tickled to be recipients of the gift.  And then they invited us to stay for supper!  Victor got to play with fun little people and trucks, and we had a really nice dinner.

A very fun unexpected treat from the Lord.

Saturday, Dec 14: Go to dinner and Christmas worship celebration at church.

We all had a great time enjoying a bbq dinner at church and the beginning of the beautiful worship service, before heading home to get to bed before it got too late.

Sunday, Dec 15: See pretty lights and a puppy while Christmas shopping.

Christmas lights are a real highlight of the season for Victor, and we hit the jackpot when we went to one store and saw pretty (i.e. Christmas) lights AND got to say hi to a big, friendly dog.  And we got Pop-pop's Christmas present! 

Monday, Dec 16: Finish the day with a Christmas Oreo.

It was another morning of Christmas shopping with Mom, but the fun part of the day was being all together for supper and finishing off our pizza with a tasty Oreo treat.

 

Tuesday, Dec 17: Play in the snow with Dad. 

Today I had a long meeting Downtown all afternoon, and Ben was home working on a big final paper and studying, so he took a little break to have fun with Victor while I was gone.  They went out and frolicked in the snow (although it was still too cold and powdery to make a good snowman).  It was a happy picture to receive in the middle of a long meeting...

Advent: Days 6-12

Friday, Dec 6: Eat dinner with friends.

At the end of a whirlwind week, we enjoyed a delicious, restful, festive dinner with some wonderful friends (Livingstons and Waltons).  Victor particularly enjoyed the sugar cookies and playing with trucks with his buddy Emmett.

(As a special bonus, we got more pictures of Baby Brother at Momma's ultrasound Friday morning!)

Saturday, Dec 7: Go to women's Christmas celebration (Mommy) and have a special friend over for lunch.

I got to take our upstairs neighbor Laurie to the women's Christmas celebration, which was a beautiful service of music and drama.  Then Laurie came down for lunch with us all afterward, and she brought a big laundry basket of musical instruments that she was sorting for a caroling outing that afternoon, and Ben and Victor got to play away with them!

Sunday, Dec 8: Sing Christmas songs at church.

Victor was up in the night, Friday night, with congestion, drippy nose, sneezing, and coughing.  With a really crazy week ahead, I confess some dread as to what might become of this cold... I was praying pretty fervently that this might be a surprise and not turn into the 2-week recovery that seems to be typical.

And the Lord was so kind!  Sunday morning, Victor already seemed to be much improved, so we were all able to go to church together, although Victor and I just sat in for the opening worship.  Normally, I take Victor to the nursery just before the Scripture reading, but he was doing so well (and couldn't go to his class because of green buggers), we decided to just see how long he could go.

Victor was definitely wondering when he would get to go to class, and it was a little hard to understand that the green boogies meant he couldn't attend this week, but he would sit with Mommy and Daddy instead.  He really did very well until the Scripture reader finished the passage for the morning's sermon, and as he exited the stage, Victor said excitedly (and somewhat loudly), "All done!"

And that's about when we decided Mom and Victor should maybe finish the service at the Info Booth.  But it was still a great time getting to sing and pray all together as a family at church.  (Sunday is Victor's favorite day, and he asks for it frequently throughout the week...)

Monday, Dec 9: Play with special friends (while Mom goes to Christmas party #1).

Monday was the Adult Ministries Christmas, so Victor got to go play with Mr. Kevin and Miss Sue for the middle of the day.  He was so excited to see them (and all their pretty colored lights)!

Tuesday, Dec 10: Play with special friends again (while Mom and Dad go to Christmas party #2).

And Tuesday was the All-Staff Christmas Celebration (which I got to coordinate), so Ben and I headed out at 7:30am to try to make it to the North Campus in time for 9am set up.  It's been frigid lately, and just enough of a dusting of snow to slow traffic to a crawl and give some tricky slick spots when you don't expect it.

About an hour and 40 min later, we did arrive, happily, at North!  A great crew of guys helped set up the sanctuary for the staff lunch, and a sweet women's small group from South came to help decorate and serve.  Everything went very nicely, and it was a wonderful time.

Meanwhile, Victor got Day #2 with Miss Sue (although Mr. Kevin had a grueling drive to Iowa and back overnight and through the day, so he wasn't available to play).

She sent us this picture...

Wednesday, Dec 11: Put up the Nativity.

Wednesday morning, Victor and I set up our Nativity scene and talked about how how Jesus wasn't born in a house or hotel--and He didn't have a crib to sleep in.  He slept in a manger, where cows eat.  And He came for a very special reason, so that He could live perfectly and die in our place, to cover over the sin in our hearts if we will trust in Him.

Thursday, Dec 12: Go Christmas shopping. 

Finally, with the busyness of planning Christmas parties over, Victor and I turned our attention to some Christmas shopping!  I started thinking about Christmas gifts in October, and it gave me a terrible sense of false security about the headway I was making! But the Lord is kind, and little by little we are checking things off the list...

We had a fun time meandering through Costco, tasting samples and then sharing a hot dog for lunch.  And at a thrift store, we found a terrifically ugly sweater for Dad to wear to his young adult gathering Friday night.

Music

Advent: Days 1-5

Sunday, Dec 1: Put up Christmas tree.  

This is Ben's and my 6th Christmas together, but it was our very first real, full-size, live Christmas tree.  Ben picked up a Fraser Fir at Costco, and it is beautiful, fragrant, doesn't shed too much, and has nice soft needles. 

Furthermore, it only took about 5 min to get it set up in the tree stand (which was a blessed change from my first live Christmas tree experience, back in the good old days of high school... Ah, the memories.)

Victor just loves the tree.  We get up in the morning and sit on the couch, looking at the "pretty lights."  I love it.

Monday, Dec 2: Look at Christmas lights.

Ben studied with a couple friends after class, so it was pretty late before he got home.  So Victor and I waited for him outside and admired the pretty lights from our neighbors across the street.  It wasn't until Ben got home that Victor really noticed there was even snow on the ground!

Tuesday, Dec 3: Go Christmas shopping.

Today Victor and I had a special outing for some Christmas items needed for next week's staff Christmas party.  It was a whirlwind trip, amid the snow to Michael's, Dollar Tree, Michael's (again), Costco, and IKEA.

Highlights included the Christmas-light deer that really moved, samples at Costco, and French fries with his free IKEA lunch.

At the end of the day, we enjoyed a nice stroll around the loop of our block, admiring more Christmas lights (though the neighbors across the street from us are the standout best).

Wednesday, Dec 4: Build a snowman.

Victor and I headed out for some fun in the snow, albeit he was a little uncertain he liked it at first.  We traipsed across the street to the park, and after a few steps, he said in dismay, "All messy, all messy!" 

But I think it grew on him.  We built three snowmen and ran around and had a general good time enjoying winter.

Yes, those are the faceless, armless, buttonless snowmen.

Thursday, Dec 5: Go Christmas caroling.

We said good-bye to Daddy early this morning for a long day of classes and then studying at the library Downtown afterward.  "Finals month" (as December is) is packing a huge wallop, and I think we're all feeling kind of wrung out, but I did feel so thankful this morning enjoying a warm home, which smells like evergreen and cinnamon and orange.

Despite the sharp cold snap, Victor and I had a fun outing with our small group tonight for some Christmas caroling at 7500 York (a housing development for the elderly).  It was the third of three outreaches this fall/winter, connected to the Billy Graham "My Hope America" program.

Because our small group leaders have a heart of gold, Dr. Mike even did valet service for us.

Thanksgiving in Iowa

This Wednesday morning the fam piled into the van for a trip down to Iowa. Victor was a pretty happy camper on the drive down (he thinks overpasses are tunnels, so that made for a pretty fun trip).

We had a great time at Grammy and Grandad's, and since we got home this afternoon, Victor his requested a drive back down several times and cried when he had to go to bed without returning to Grammy and Grandad's house. It is a real sweet consolation that Christmas is only about 3 weeks away...

Guard Your Heart

This is just an excellent message from Wayne Grudem about the priority of guarding our hearts.

Big Cousin, Big Brother

Yesterday, Ben, Victor, and I made a little visit to the Kattersons so that Ben and Victor could meet Caleb in person. On the drive, Victor was so excited to see Baby Caleb that he would not eat his supper.

Victor was mostly stoic while he got to hold his baby cousin, but the visit definitely made a big impression.

Today, he recalled with great fondness when he got to "Hold 'im!"

And after I told him that he would be able to hold Baby Brother too, when he came to our home, he got so excited he gave BB about a dozen kisses and snuggles also wanted to give him a blessing before bed.

I think he's going to be a good big brother.

Dangers of Discipline, Part 2

Continued thoughts...

4. Shame

We have probably all been in a situation before where someone (stranger or friend) reamed out their child in front of a crowd.  Maybe it was thoughtlessly done, or maybe it was an intentional tactic to try to change the child's behavior, but whatever the case, dishonoring or shaming a child is a danger in discipline.

Sometimes we can do the right thing (in addressing wrong or foolish behavior) the wrong way, in the wrong tone, or at the wrong time. 

The Bible talks about the pain of dishonor.  Even in a situation where the psalmist confesses sin and folly before the Lord (Psalm 69:5), he still asks for relief and comfort from being shamed and dishonored (69:19-20).

So it seems significant that we as parents seek to discipline and correct in a way that does not wrongly embarrass or dishonor our children.  Perhaps some insight for a careful approach comes from Matthew 18:15, If your brother [child] sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother [child].

5. Legalism

Legalism tempts us to see our own good efforts as a tool in gaining ground with God.  

It is a real and present danger, in training our children, that they may get the impression that their following our rules and complying with our desires actually earns them brownie points or good standing with God.

We need to be careful even in how we praise obedience or good behavior.  I certainly know that as a mother, it makes my life easier when my son is listening and obeying right away.  I feel proud, thankful, and encouraged.  That's fine.  But what a danger, if I am lulled into a false sense of security and contentedness because I have a compliant child.

Galatians 3:11-14 says, Now that no one is justified by the Law before God is evident, for, "The righteous man shall live by faith." However, the Law is not of faith; on the contrary, "He who practices them shall live by them."  Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us... so that we would receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

The gospel says that we don't and can't earn points with God from our good efforts.  (They are filthy rags.)  But Christ came and lived in such perfection that He satisfied the call of the Law.  And if we trust in Him, then our guilt was put on His head and punished at the cross, and his perfect record is put on us, and we are called righteous before God.

That is what we want to set before our children, again and again.

6. Fear of man

Maybe this is an especially strong danger in church.  When we feel that our skill, wisdom, and expertise in parenting is some kind of record we need to keep up, fear of man can become the ruling factor in our response to any form of imperfection in our children.

What emotions stir when your child starts making noise in the middle of a church service?  Is your response different when disobedience occurs in front of people, rather than in private?  How much of your discipline is motivated by what people will think?

Fear of man--which is really another form of pride--is a very frequent temptation for me, so it takes a lot of prayer and dependence on the Holy Spirit to keep my perspective focused on truth, and my desire centered on pleasing just the audience of One who really matters.

Stop regarding man, whose breath of life is in his nostrils; for why should he be esteemed?--Isaiah 2:22

To be continued...

And It's a...

Dear Victor,

What a special gift God is giving us!

 

 The Bible talks about brothers all over the place--

Let love of the brethren continue.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit, brethren.

Brethren, join in following my example.

Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.

Therefore, holy brethren, ... consider Jesus.

They aren't all brothers like you and the little guy coming to join our family, but God is using "brothers" to talk about how close and united and special we are to one another in the family of Jesus.

And Victor, you are going to have a little brother in our very own family!

How we pray that God will knit together your heart with this precious little boy and capture both of your hearts to fear and treasure Jesus so that you will be double brothers always!

Your Momma and Daddy are so thankful and happy to bring another sweet little boy to our home.

I think it will mean more of this...

 

And this...

And this...

 

And this...

 

And this...

 ... and what a great thing that is!

Together, may you fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses (1 Timothy 6:12).  

And may you be comrades, helpers, and friends to one another all your days.

We love you, our favorite little Victor, and we love you too, little boy #2.

Looking to Jesus,

Momma and Daddy

Showing Ducky the big news

Daylight Savings, Puking, God's Provision

Victor came down with his first cold of the season last week. 
And it was a bit of a hectic week, late nights and early mornings. 
And I don't sleep real great when V gets a cough. 
And I am worse than Victor at adjusting to Daylight Savings this year (hard to shake those 4am wake ups).

So, I think that all caught up with me on Monday when, in an odd pregnancy twist, I puked 3 times. 

Definite flashbacks to last pregnancy.  (Except that this time when I puked, I woke Victor up from his nap.)

So, it was a bit of a low point. 

The thing about low points is that they are generally also the times when you see most clearly God's care. 

Like somehow being okay until Ben got home from class. 
And then being able to haul myself out of bed to tuck Victor in bed, and getting the longest, sweetest snuggle from him I remember.
And keeping down some chicken broth in the morning, so that I was strong enough for Ben to go to his meetings.
And the sweet provision of two friends to take Victor for big pieces of the day so I could rest (and catch up on some work).
And no repeat performances so far...

In the moment, it always feels like the horrible nausea is there to stay.  Forever.  When it stretches into hours and days and weeks and months, it's a long, hard, dreary battle, and the sheer weight of physical groaning can threaten to squelch all the hopeful truths I know. 

And yet, it can set the stage for such sweet breakthroughs of grace that I would not otherwise taste.  So (at least after the fact) I recognize it as one of those thorny gifts, that pulls aside the veil to reveal Jesus.

To my friend who is in the middle of it all right now, I am praying for you.  It is hard.  It is so hard. 

But it is not the end of the story, and joy will indeed come in the morning.

10 Dangers of Discipline, Part 1

Parenting is full of delight.  What a gift from God.

But it's full of lots of other things too.  Exhaustion, puzzlement, challenge.  I was reflecting a couple days ago about discipline--so essential for parenting.  One of our main ways to love the little people entrusted to our care.

And yet, with the wicked, sinful hearts we come with (not to speak of our kids'!), it's full of dangers... ways that we can distort the reflection of God's faithful, persevering discipline of His children.

Here's a list of 10 ways I thought of that we can miss the boat in discipline. Most points on this list came from considering the wrong impulses or temptations of my own heart.  It's surely not exhaustive, but maybe it will be helpful in thinking through and asking for God's help for more God-reflecting discipline in our homes.

1. Harshness and anger

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart (Colossians 3:21).

When children seem to be intentionally pushing your buttons... when you're tired... when it feels absolutely unreasonable that they are choosing this most inconvenient moment to rebel... it is easy to lash out with (often self-righteous) anger and harshness.

How it must grieve the Lord when I fail to reflect His "compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness" character (Exodus 34:6).  

2. Lethargy and fatigue

Sometimes it feels like just. too. much. to respond one more time.  We may overlook disobedience or quiet rebellion, not because of prudent grace but because it's exhausting to step in, address the situation, and walk through the process, again, of training, correction, and restoration.

Sometimes you can almost feel the little one's spirit pushing, testing to see if he can get away with something if he just tries long enough.  It takes a lot of stamina, some days, to stay in the game.

But we are the earliest pictures of God given to our children, and we want to make a true reflection of His never-ending intervention for the good of our hearts.  So it is a gift to our children when we lean into grace for the strength to step in one more time when it's needed. 

Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary (Galatians 6:9).

3. Distraction

Maybe this wouldn't seem like a danger, more like a state-of-being for parents with small children (especially more than one).  Life is full of shifting priorities and more demands on our time than resources to supply.

But it is a real danger that we may forget the long-range importance of some things like discipline, under the louder-shouting urgency of other things.

When I'm in the middle of something, I'm often more likely to ignore behavior that should be responded to, simply because it means breaking away from what I'm in the middle of. I may subconsciously rationalize overlooking trouble, even though I would agree that finishing my grocery list is not as important as taking a teaching moment with my child.  

It struck home when I was reading this morning and came across this:

His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin.  He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray (Proverbs 5:22-23).

I can forget that lack of instruction may be far more dangerous for my children than lack of milk and toilet paper.

To be continued...

Pumpkin Patch with Kattersons

After a rough start to the day (because I bit off Ben's head over nothing), we went on to have a great time at the pumpkin patch with the Kattersons!

I love this line-up!  Reminds me of the Easter Sunday line-up when I was growing up...

Prayer time before our cinnamon roll treat

Fun in the corn pit

Trip to Ikea

Friday night we had a little family outing to Ikea.  Victor tested out all the toys, and we had a good time browsing the store.