When I Don't Understand

God is smarter than me.

I believe this. Most people would not argue the fact.

Nevertheless, when things don't go right, when God's plans don't make sense to me, how fast do I complain, question, chaff, and doubt His goodness?

Romans 11:34 says, "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor?"

A counselor to God? I'll be honest. I've given Him plenty of advice over the years.

But when it comes right down to it, when I remember who He is and who I am, I am thankful that He is wiser and stronger and in control.

As You Prepare to Face the Day

Sometimes the day starts so early, it rather bleeds in from the sleepless night.

Sometimes you may wake and groan to think about what is coming and wish to throw the covers over your head and return to oblivion.

Sometimes the memory of yesterday seems already to have tainted today, and it seems hopeless to look for any redemption of the junk you walked through then and most likely will slog through now.

I've had those days.

Days when I woke up barely human, not to even speak of Christian.

What fits us to face the day?

Well, here are a few anchors anyway:

...Christ Jesus Himself being the corner stone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit (Ephesians 2:20b-22).

 A wildly mind-boggling thought. We are in Jesus being built into a home for God in the Spirit. We are in Christ and in the Spirit, and God is in us. How much closer could He be, in remarkable Triune companionship?

Seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust (2 Peter 1:3-4).

Everything pertaining to life and godliness. That is quite comprehensive. If it relates whatsoever to life ... or godliness ... then God (who has Divine Power, which must be very strong indeed) has granted what we need. Through knowing Him (we may know Him, God Himself?! Amazing.). And through His promises, we may become partakers in His own holy nature. Which sounds like something we should never dream possible, except that He said so, Himself.

The LORD's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him." The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. It is good that he waits silently for the salvation of the LORD (Lamentations 3:22-26).

Some of you, some friends today, will wake up to a hard day. I know that (though I may not know the half of it). Oh, may the relentless lovingkindness of the LORD find you. May the new mercies meet every need today, while you quietly wait for Him to work on your behalf. We have a God who brings salvation of every  kind, from every peril. And He has already showed us the end of the story (a truly, deeply happy ending). To have Him as our own portion is to have hope.

I pray you see Him in this day, since that makes all the difference. Much grace to you today.

Valentine's Day Weekend

Last Saturday was Valentine's Day. In a "blue" kinda house, we didn't get into too much hearts or frills, but it was a pretty special day nonetheless.

I slept in (kinda inadvertently... oops) and Ben played with the boys while I had some quiet time. Then it was eggs and cinnamon rolls for breakfast (Victor polished off a good plate of eggs and 2 cinnamon rolls). 

Then I took Victor and Josiah to Target so Daddy could have a little snooze and time to himself. We got a bag of coffee as a Happy Valentine's Day present and a new sweater for Victor. And it was pretty quiet in the store, so we played a little hide-and-seek in the women's clothing section too. :)

After Josiah's morning nap, we bundled up for lunch at Erbert and Gerberts. There was some fun music playing, and Josiah totally started grooving to the tunes. It was hilarious! He'd bob his head and then laugh and clap and do it all again.

After lunch, we headed to the zoo, where they had a special huge sandbox set up by the Tropics Trail. Victor brought a bucket and shovel, and he and Daddy excavated for a while in the warm ... ignoring the frigid weather outside.

After afternoon snoozes, we had some riotous Rody races, bouncing from the living room to Victor's bunkbed and back ... Victor vs. Daddy, Victor vs. Mommy, Victor taking a victory lap. There were thrills, spills, and much uproarious laughter.

We had a special Valentine's Day dinner of pizza dip and homemade peanut butter cup bars (food = Mommy's love language). And to top off a lovely day, when the littles were in bed, Ben and I finished watching (the good BBC version of) Pride and Prejudice.

Sweet, sweet.

To Live For Another

I've been having a neighborhood Bible study with a couple ladies for the past month. Getting ready for tomorrow night's study, this verse popped out at me:

And He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf (2 Corinthians 5:15).

 Not living for myself. It's almost laughable how far short I routinely fall from that great call, but what a liberating purpose of Christ's death.

If I'm not living for myself, I don't have to self-protect and try to preserve peoples' good impressions with false piety.

If I'm not living for myself, I don't have to excessively feed insatiable cravings ... whether for sleep, dessert, approval, efficiency, or comfort.

If I'm not living for myself, it's okay when my agenda gets scrambled by sick kids, unexpected company, toddler temper tantrums, and computer malfunctions. Interruptions don't have to ruin my day.

If I'm not living for myself, I need not fear the unexpected. If I have an open hand to receive what God sees good to give me, then I am in a very safe place. With a good Shepherd and kind Father tending my needs, even when I don't understand how it all works out for good.

If I'm not living for myself, my sins and failures will humble me and press me back to dependence on Jesus. I won't resist the conviction of the Holy Spirit and refuse to acknowledge when I've veered off His way and need to turn back to Him.

If I'm not living for myself, I won't end my days with hopeless regret and remorse. I will be spared such sorrow and bondage. I will taste hope and see those sweet every-morning mercies from the One who proved by laying down His own life that He will spare no expense for my good.

Ah, Lord, I've such a long way to go. But help me to come a step closer to consistently living for You.

Our Story: First Sight

For the first installment of this long story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued. Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait.

Our Story: First Sight
Was That Love?



The summer of 2005 was notable for a few reasons. It was my first summer living in the 'hood in Minneapolis. It was my first summer working full-time (as a real, independent adult). And it was the summer that Ben moved to town.

One of my duties as the now-full-time Adult Ministry assistant was to coordinate the weekly Wednesday Connection meal.  We alternated between the parking lot of our under-construction North Campus (in Mounds View) and the parking lot of our Downtown Campus (in Minneapolis).  Hot dogs, chips, water.  This was not a complicated meal.  But you would hardly believe the trouble I had.

I wrote an essay about my experience that summer. Laugh or cry, you know? (I'll try to post the essay, but I only have a hard copy right now.)

Ed Katterson was my noble hot dog griller. On a Wednesday in June, I was rushing around, per the norm, when a lanky fellow peddled into the Downtown parking lot on a bicycle, his shoulder-length, curly blond hair billowing behind him. My impressions were of a high-octane smile and a bit of a wild appearance. Ed introduced him as his youngest son, newly moved to town to be a part of Bethlehem, Ben.

I said hi and continued on my stressed-out way. [Ben recalls feeling a bit deflated by my welcome. Little did he know what strenuous demands were riding on the shoulders of that distracted hot dog lady...]

The next time our paths crossed was at a game night at Ben and Melissa Piper's house, maybe a few weeks later. I had served as Ben Piper's ministry assistant for about 6 months, so we were friends, and they also invited their neighbors across the street (who happened to be Nathan and Laura Katterson),  another single guy, and ... Nathan's younger brother Ben. The card game we played [sadly, I don't recall what it was] involved going around the circle, each person laying down a card. In the course of play, Ben laid down a card, and I happened to lay down its pair. Ben looked over at me, with his wide grin, and said, "Well, I guess we'll have to get married!"

Cheeky man, I thought. He doesn't even know me.

Aside from crossing paths at morning prayer meetings and church, nothing notable marked our interactions after that. We were acquaintances (not particularly friends) and each heavily involved in different things. Ben was almost immediately drawn into the Messengers drama group (a performing arts group that presented at Bethlehem as well as traveled around the country) and some short-term missions trips with his dad, and I was leading a small group and a neighborhood Bible study and working too much.

It would be a year and a half before I had any indication God would be crossing our paths in a more significant way.

Next installment: Just a Hint