Our Story: A Long Wait
Dreams, Disappointment, Deepening, Drama
“What God gives us is not necessarily 'ours' but only ours to offer back to him, ours to relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of, if we want to be our true selves. Many deaths must go into reaching our maturity in Christ, many letting goes.”
―
Elisabeth Elliot,
Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control
A lot of water under the bridge since that day at age 5 (for me, age 8 for Ben) when grace broke in.
I went through high school without a date. Without being asked out, actually. Had a good group of friends and a few crushes.
I remember lying in my grandparents' bed before going to college my freshman year, worrying that I would not find a husband there. Northwestern College had a 4 to 1 ratio of girls to boys. I didn't figure my odds were too hot.
I thought I met the man of my dreams during my freshman year. Subtle hints of interest (at least according to my roommate), a solid leader, and headed for the pastorate. I was sold. We parted ways for the summer, saw each other again the next fall, and he ended up marrying a good friend of mine. (I went to the wedding with my roommate, who may or may not have mentioned to the groom that it was not too late to marry me.)
It would be an overstatement to say I had a broken heart, but I was disappointed. My sophomore year brought some mild interest from another guy, who was actually from my hometown, but that never developed into anything either. A man from another school, who I barely knew from a Sunday school class, called on Valentine's Day--probably to ask me out. But I was so flustered and awkward, that I fumbled the whole kit and caboodle in a horrible way, and I never talked to him again. In fact, I don't think he ever came back to the class.
From there on, no news of note. I was involved in student discipleship and had a really good group of friends on campus. At the beginning of my junior year, I started attending Bethlehem. I didn't know many people, but I started coming to Jack and Mary Delk's college class and volunteered as an usher and greeter for worship services.
I started leading a shepherd group for college girls, and Jack and Mary mentored those of us who were college group leaders. We came to their home for Bible study and prayer. One day, Mary happened to mention she needed someone to clean their house. So I started cleaning for them weekly. And it was on one of those cleaning afternoons when Mary suggested I apply to Bethlehem for work when I graduated.
So it was that I did not move home to Iowa after graduation in 2004, but found a great new home in the first-floor apartment of Tom Steller's house (with the purple bathroom), rooming with a soon-to-be bosom buddy Sarah and Grandma Nancy, just a few blocks from the Downtown Campus of Bethlehem.
God did a lot of work on me during college. For me, college meant stepping away from the security of just taking my parents' advice and hanging out with my Christian friends. Little by little I found myself venturing into deeper faith-testing water. Going out at 10pm on Friday nights to witness at Franklin and Chicago with Streetlight. Mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico. Leading Bible studies on a dorm floor. 9/11 (my 20th birthday). Striking up a long-term friendship with Verle and Genevieve Horton, from the nearby neighborhood. Mission trip to New York City.
By the time I graduated, singleness wasn't quite the threat of doom that it was 4 years earlier. I was thrilled to be working at Bethlehem--would have been happy to just put a cot in my cubicle and live there. But I was nevertheless quite without prospects.
And the years kept ticking by with no new news.
Meanwhile...
Ben doesn't have a lot to say about relationships in his "days of youth." He never dated anyone. There was a crush on a friend Sarah, and a penpal Nancy, who came to visit in New Zealand, but no romantic attachments to speak of.
Now that I know him, I can envision there were quite the string of young women who were probably secretly hoping that the friendly smile and cheerful, buoyant, fun-loving camaraderie would have led to something more... But he was more interested in sports and languages, magic tricks and camping, culinary adventures and seeing new places.
He was in high school when his dad announced to the family that he was leaving. Divorced. Re-married. Divorced again. A decade later, in violent grace, God smacked him with "a holy 2x4" (to use his words) and breathed life again into a long-rebelling heart. Ben drove from Connecticut up to New Hampshire to see him and witnessed a man devastated, exhilarated, and insane. Either God had met Ed in flaming, grace-filled power or he needed the loony-bin.
In the end, it was the grace-filled power. Within a few months, Ed moved to Minneapolis to go to the church where John Piper preached. Ben's brother Nathan, newly-married to Laura, followed within a year.
I joined Bethlelem as a covenant member in February 2004, the same weekend when Ed did. In the spring of 2005, I transitioned from part-time ministry assistant in Urban Ministries and part-time Adult Ministries to fully Adult Ministries. Laura Katterson was the new Urban ministry assistant, and I got to train her in.
And after reading books and listening to sermon tapes by John Piper, mailed from Nathan, at last Ben himself moved to Minneapolis in the summer of 2005, eager to drink deep from the Bethlehem fire hydrant.
And the Summer of Hot Dogs was to be an unexpected turning point in my life.
Next Installment: First Sight
I remember lying in my grandparents' bed before going to college my freshman year, worrying that I would not find a husband there. Northwestern College had a 4 to 1 ratio of girls to boys. I didn't figure my odds were too hot.
I thought I met the man of my dreams during my freshman year. Subtle hints of interest (at least according to my roommate), a solid leader, and headed for the pastorate. I was sold. We parted ways for the summer, saw each other again the next fall, and he ended up marrying a good friend of mine. (I went to the wedding with my roommate, who may or may not have mentioned to the groom that it was not too late to marry me.)
It would be an overstatement to say I had a broken heart, but I was disappointed. My sophomore year brought some mild interest from another guy, who was actually from my hometown, but that never developed into anything either. A man from another school, who I barely knew from a Sunday school class, called on Valentine's Day--probably to ask me out. But I was so flustered and awkward, that I fumbled the whole kit and caboodle in a horrible way, and I never talked to him again. In fact, I don't think he ever came back to the class.
From there on, no news of note. I was involved in student discipleship and had a really good group of friends on campus. At the beginning of my junior year, I started attending Bethlehem. I didn't know many people, but I started coming to Jack and Mary Delk's college class and volunteered as an usher and greeter for worship services.
I started leading a shepherd group for college girls, and Jack and Mary mentored those of us who were college group leaders. We came to their home for Bible study and prayer. One day, Mary happened to mention she needed someone to clean their house. So I started cleaning for them weekly. And it was on one of those cleaning afternoons when Mary suggested I apply to Bethlehem for work when I graduated.
So it was that I did not move home to Iowa after graduation in 2004, but found a great new home in the first-floor apartment of Tom Steller's house (with the purple bathroom), rooming with a soon-to-be bosom buddy Sarah and Grandma Nancy, just a few blocks from the Downtown Campus of Bethlehem.
God did a lot of work on me during college. For me, college meant stepping away from the security of just taking my parents' advice and hanging out with my Christian friends. Little by little I found myself venturing into deeper faith-testing water. Going out at 10pm on Friday nights to witness at Franklin and Chicago with Streetlight. Mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico. Leading Bible studies on a dorm floor. 9/11 (my 20th birthday). Striking up a long-term friendship with Verle and Genevieve Horton, from the nearby neighborhood. Mission trip to New York City.
By the time I graduated, singleness wasn't quite the threat of doom that it was 4 years earlier. I was thrilled to be working at Bethlehem--would have been happy to just put a cot in my cubicle and live there. But I was nevertheless quite without prospects.
And the years kept ticking by with no new news.
Meanwhile...
Ben doesn't have a lot to say about relationships in his "days of youth." He never dated anyone. There was a crush on a friend Sarah, and a penpal Nancy, who came to visit in New Zealand, but no romantic attachments to speak of.
Now that I know him, I can envision there were quite the string of young women who were probably secretly hoping that the friendly smile and cheerful, buoyant, fun-loving camaraderie would have led to something more... But he was more interested in sports and languages, magic tricks and camping, culinary adventures and seeing new places.
He was in high school when his dad announced to the family that he was leaving. Divorced. Re-married. Divorced again. A decade later, in violent grace, God smacked him with "a holy 2x4" (to use his words) and breathed life again into a long-rebelling heart. Ben drove from Connecticut up to New Hampshire to see him and witnessed a man devastated, exhilarated, and insane. Either God had met Ed in flaming, grace-filled power or he needed the loony-bin.
In the end, it was the grace-filled power. Within a few months, Ed moved to Minneapolis to go to the church where John Piper preached. Ben's brother Nathan, newly-married to Laura, followed within a year.
I joined Bethlelem as a covenant member in February 2004, the same weekend when Ed did. In the spring of 2005, I transitioned from part-time ministry assistant in Urban Ministries and part-time Adult Ministries to fully Adult Ministries. Laura Katterson was the new Urban ministry assistant, and I got to train her in.
And after reading books and listening to sermon tapes by John Piper, mailed from Nathan, at last Ben himself moved to Minneapolis in the summer of 2005, eager to drink deep from the Bethlehem fire hydrant.
And the Summer of Hot Dogs was to be an unexpected turning point in my life.
Next Installment: First Sight
No comments:
Post a Comment