Fresh Thoughts

From the last week.

Thoughts on Psalm 34:9-11.

Stomach Flu

We had just arrived at Como Zoo to meet some friends when Victor said his tummy hurt.

Go potty. Walk a little. Sit on a bench. He would crouch down between exhibits. Not good.

But he rallied after some pretzels, ate a decent lunch, said his tummy was feeling better, went potty again, and came home for a nap.

At 3:30, he came out (with vomit dripping down an arm and leg) and let us know he had spit up.

Oh, Stomach Flu. You are such a never-welcome guest here.

3:30pm.
4:30pm.
6:00pm.
7:15pm.
9:00pm.
11:00pm.
11:53pm.
12:55am.

Then Josiah started.

2:00am.
3:15am.
3:55am.
4:38am.
5:36am.
8:01am.
9:40am.

I'm just not sure how many loads of laundry we ran in the past 24 hours. (Josiah, in particular, is not a particularly good aim.)

I have a pretty good idea how much sleep I got, but I don't want to dwell on it.

The harbinger cough. The call. The retching, even after the belly is empty. Oh, you are a terrible thing. A picture of our awful Fall.

But on the other hand.

How thankful I am for a washer and dryer, so easily available.

I'm so glad neither of the boys got terribly dehydrated.

Only 10 hours apiece. Really not so bad.

Elliot has been spared, thus far.

Ben was able to help with a fair bit of it all.

We still have a few days before welcoming family and friends here for Easter.

I had a mental flash, sometime in the night, of the scourge of ebola that loomed so large a while ago. I could imagine the horrific dread that must have fallen on mommas and caregivers with the first signs of sickness. In comparison, o Stomach Flu, I could indeed nearly call you a friend.

And this week of all weeks, we remember our great Hero, who stepped into our Fall-tainted world and wore a flesh that was susceptible to the flu bug, the bite of a thorn, the explosion of pain that a nail could produce.

Victor over sin and death. Firstborn from the grave. Promise of coming joy. Thank You.

The Biggest Problem

What is your biggest problem right now?

If you're like me, ideas come easily to mind.

Money problems.
Kids who disobey.
Lack of sleep.
Stressful relationships at work.
A husband who doesn't understand.
No husband at all.

Whatever the list, my tendency (and maybe yours?) is to totally miss the real problem.

Here's the worst case scenario.

1 Cor. 15:16-17 "For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless, you are still in your sins."

There is no resurrection.
Christ has not been raised.
Your faith is worthless.
You are still in your sins.

Let the shock and horror of that land, just for a second.

Under judgment.
Lost forever.
Without hope, without God in the world.
Absolute despair of pardon.
Eternal separation from God.
Hell.

That, my friends, is a desperate, awful prospect.

And now, let the word of truth fill that picture with reality (and let the relief flood over you).

Christ has come.
Death is defeated.
He is risen.
Your faith--albeit weak or unsteady--if in Christ is not in vain.
You will never be alone.
Nothing can snatch you from His love.
Christ has triumphed, and in Him, God has purposed for all of eternity to cover you with kindness.

Hope spreads before you like an eternal ocean, because you are His and He is yours.

Where is your biggest problem?

It is crushed and disarmed by the death-defying, hope-bringing resurrection of Jesus.

On Turning 35

Today, 10 years ago, was the first Sunday of the new South Site of Bethlehem. What a day, full of joyful, exhausting, exhilarating hard work!

It was the beginning of a long, hard, sweet era of South Sundays (incidentally also the beginning of manning the South Info Booth, whence along came a man named Ben, causing Karin Livingston to probe a few months later, "Amy, does Ben Katterson like you?" ... but that's another story).

Then, it was the day before I turned 25.

Today, it is the day before I turn 35.

And what do I have to say about that? (Asked no one, but I'll share anyway!)

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.--Ephesians 3:20-21

That's a pretty good summary of how I feel. The road that brought me here has been full of so many gifts, so much kindness. Long days, sleepless nights (didn't know much about those before kids!), loneliness, sweet friendship, painful conflict, encouraging conversations, deep loss, precious gifts ... God's provision has been constantly beyond expectation.

 The LORD God is a sun and shield. The LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.--Psalm 46:10

I really don't have much to say about why I'm at this blessed place in life. I didn't earn it. I didn't build it. Haven't figured it all out. As for being somebody who "walks uprightly," that's all a crazy gift too. God has covered over my sinful, selfish heart with the blood of His perfect Son, and He has given me a new love for His way. And then on top of it, He's given a boatload of other sweet gifts.

Creative, goofy, hard-working, sacrificial, Jesus-loving husband.
Three bubbly, bright, joyful, energetic, wiggly little boys, and a baby with Jesus.
Seminary life, ministry opportunities, the body of Christ.
Kind, long-lasting friendships and new connections.
Extended family that I love being with.
Mind-stretching work (some of which I am paid for) and lots of satisfying responsibilities.

Praise to the Lord, who o’er all things so wondrously reigneth,
Shelters thee under His wings, yea, so gently sustaineth!
Hast thou not seen how thy desires e’er have been
Granted in what He ordaineth? 

So today is full of reflections of gratitude. And tomorrow?

Well, tomorrow is held in the hands of the same great Keeper and King, so whatever it holds is yet another gift.

Thank You, Lord.

 Even to your old age I will be the same, and even to your graying years I will bear you! I have done it, and I will carry you; and I will bear you and I will deliver you.--Isaiah 46:4

A P.S. to the Last Post

A few more things really need to be said, regarding that last post.

What this doesn't mean.

It doesn't mean that you should never take a break, because if you're not down to "two pennies' worth of strength" you're not really loving Jesus. There have been more than a few times that I have known, in my conscience, that I would be disobeying a "still, small voice" if I tried to get a few more things done instead of taking a nap.

There are times when doing one more thing is an act of pride, and not an act of love. We are not limitless. We are not the Indispensable One. We are not God.

As His very limited creatures, we reach a place (at least every day, usually!) where we honor God's design by resting, taking a break, letting go of our desire to do all and be all.

There are times when it is not love to do something yourself, when you could share the burden with another. Maybe the sense of being overwhelmed and exhausted is actually an opportunity to teach your children the importance of "pitching in" for the needs of the family or explaining to your spouse an area where you feel over your head so that you can dream up a life-giving way to deal with it together. Maybe it is a season when you need the grace of the Body of Christ to come near, to be vulnerable enough to ask for help from outside of your own home. It is not easy to be at a place of weakness, but very real grace comes when we allow others to be hands and feet of God's love to us.

There are times when it is not good, not wise, not real love to spend yourself to the point of exhaustion over things that are not essential, when it's better to let the mountain of laundry sit for one more day and take those minutes to be still, refresh your heart, and find joy in remembering all that your limitless Savior is for you.

That widow worshiped Jesus by giving her last two pennies. Mary worshiped Jesus by sitting at His feet to listen (and it was Martha who was corrected for missing "the good part.").

Sometimes life gets reaches those swells of need that threaten to swamp the boat. During the storm, I hope that you will be buoyed in your hope by the knowledge that God receives your worship in giving your "last two cents' worth" of strength.

But for most of us, most of the time, we also worship Jesus through stepping back, sharing our load, quieting our heart, taking a break, and resting in the goodness of our great giving God.

Good News in Romans 8

In Christ...

• We have no condemnation (1)
• We are free from the law of sin and death (2)
• Christ fulfilled the requirement of the Law for us (4) 
• We may set our mind on the things of the Spirit and find life and peace (5)
• We belong to Christ (9)
• Our spirit is alive because of righteousness (10)
• Life will be granted to our mortal bodies (11)
• We are not under obligation to live according to the flesh, which leads to death (12)
• We may put to death the deeds of the body by the Spirit, and live (13)
• We are sons of God (14)
• We have received a spirit of adoption as sons, by which we may call, "Abba! Father!" (15)
• The Spirit confirms with our spirit that we are children of God, and thus heirs with Christ (16)
• Our sufferings with Christ confirm that we will also be glorified with Christ (17)
• Great glory will be revealed to us (18)
• We eagerly wait for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body (23)
• We are saved in hope, knowing that we will see the full reality one day (24-25)
• The Spirit helps us and intercedes for us (26)
• God causes everything to work together for our good, to conform us to Christ's likeness (28-29)
• We are predestined, called, justified, and glorified (30)
• God is for us (31)
• God justifies us (33)
• Christ intercedes for us (34)
• Suffering cannot thwart Christ's love for us (36)
• We overwhelmingly conquer through Christ (37)
• We are utterly inseparable from God's love in Christ, now and forever (38-39)

The Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ

For several months I have been picking my way through Philippians. Today I'm at the very last verse:

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (Phil. 4:23)

"The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ."

What is this grace?

I would say it is the grace He purchased dying on the cross for us.

We deserved hell, and the only way God could give us anything better and still be a just God is if the punishment were taken by a perfect substitute.

There was certainly no perfect substitute in this world. Just a planet full of deceivers, self-centered cravers, haters, and comfort worshipers.

So God sent God into the world, His Son, a little, helpless, bloody baby. He didn't get the welcome He deserved. He got the welcome typical of a bunch of self-centered haters and idolaters.

He lived 33 years, not easy years.

For He grew up before Him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of parched ground; He has no stately form or majesty that we should look upon Him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to Him. (Is. 53:2).

He did not catch our eye, since He did not have good looks, a winsome way of spinning popular opinion, or a magnetizing persona. He had God's own perfection--which we found unimpressive and non-compelling.

He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, and like one from whom men hide their face, He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. (Is 53:3)

We esteem the charmed life. We love to look at--and covet--those whose fortunes fall to them sweetly. We'd prefer to ignore a tragic story, lest it be contagious and we catch it. If we do notice, we offer one diagnosis: he got what he deserved.

Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried. Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted (Is. 53:4).

Truth be told, He got what we deserved. He joined our broken world and absorbed in Himself all the shards of pain and punishment that should have sliced through us.

But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, but the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him. (Is. 53:5-6)

What a staggering cost for this grace. What an immeasurable purchase.

At the cross, the written record of our debts against a holy God were pinned on Jesus.

And at the resurrection, God blazened "Paid in Full" across that note.

Then the second half of grace comes in.

Where God looks at us cloaked in the cape of Christ's own goodness.

His charity.
His patience.
His zeal for God's name.
His tenderness to the needy.
His gladness.
His humble service.
His loyalty to the Father.
His self-forgetfulness.
His quiet receiving of God's will.
His ceaseless prayer.
His true care for others.
His peace.
His faithfulness.
His self-control.
His tremendous courage.

Applied to us in Christ.

And we are accepted, welcomed in, adopted, granted full access to the throne.

Never treated as we deserve ever again.

Destined for a future of God's matchless power bent toward us for our good, in a demonstration of His glory.

...so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (Eph. 2:7)

This is a mighty grace.

And for those in the Lord Jesus Christ, it is with us, to our very heart of hearts.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. (Phil. 4:23).

Amen.

Divinely Appointed

It's always been a consolation to think that God is continually purposeful, doing millions of things hidden and secret, in the middle of what seems to be big trouble or unanswered prayer.

Sometimes we groan to know some of what He is doing, how He could weave something good from this pain.

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.--1 Peter 1:6-7

At least one thing: proving faith.

Gold is tested by fire. Faith is tested by trials. If I don't throw in the towel, if walking through junk doesn't blow away my confidence in who God says He is, it's because my faith, as wimpy and weak as it sometimes seems, is guarded by the power of God (1 Peter 1:5). That's a comfort.

And the trials come "for a little while." And only "if necessary." God is measures them out for our own special good.

"God sees your life--has seen its future, its weakness, its underdevelopment--and He's deemed this particular trial at this particular time necessary. It comes to you with premeditation and forethought, designed specifically for you, which is to say that it is not random.

"'For a little while' communicates that though God allowed Thing One and Thing Two to turn your life upside down, He has never let them off their leash. ...

"All trials, hardship, and suffering come into the life of the believer with divine permission and forethought; they'll last exactly as long as they were planned to last."

Just preaching this all to myself right now. 

Attack of the Killer To Do List

To Do Today:

- Unload the dishwasher
- Load the dishwasher
- Run the dishwasher
- Fold clothes in the dryer
- Wash clothes in the basket
- Wash sheets
- Put away clothes
- Go to staff farewell lunch
- Go to final BCS wives gathering
- Go to the office to print off interview assignments
- Go to the park with Victor
- Call the hospital where we delivered Josiah
- Call the pediatrician
- Call the OB office
- Buy Father's Day gift for Ben
- Work 4 hours
- Feed Josiah (6-8 times)
- Feed Victor
- Feed Ben
- Pick up toys
- Pick up papers
- Pick up books
- Pick up shoes
- Proctor Ben's exam
- Write thank you notes
- Pack lunch for tomorrow
- Read Bible
- Pray (these things should not be at the bottom of the list!)
- Sleep (right...)

I know this ferocious monster does not attack only me.  Proof of its violence, of course, is that I started writing this post almost a week ago.

It's not just that there's a lot to do.  Everyone everywhere has a lot to do. 

The real bite of the killer to do list comes in my assessment (conscious or not) of success in a day based on the percentage I get crossed off the list.

42%.  Failure.

Despite the fact that the average day's list requires about 72 hours of labor to complete, there is still a sometimes overwhelming sense of  pressure to get. it. all. done.  And, of course, life intervenes.

Crying baby.  Blowout diaper.  Antsy 2-year-old.  Spilled milk. 

When the to do list hovers over my head like the gray cloud over Eeyore, I am not positioned well to respond with grace and flexibility to the needs and opportunities that pop up in the middle of every day. 

I am tempted to gripe and snap at these interruptions to productivity, rather than welcome them as the real call of God for my care and attention at the moment.

And at the bottom of it lies a very simple promise from God: He intends me to do only 24-hours' worth of activity (sleep included) in any given day... and my faithfulness is not governed by any external list, no matter how pressing its contents.

Rather, faithfulness is a dependent and grace-filled response to the needs He sets in my path.

May I receive His agenda with a light heart and open hand.

Busy Morning

Mondays always start early, since Ben heads off to work at 6:15am.

I will confess to feeling a general sense of exhaustion and dread this morning, anticipating the day. (Victor slept through the night last night, but out of force of habit I suppose, I didn't.) I was curled up in the big blue chair at 5:30am, feeling a little too cross-eyed to read my Bible, and pondering Psalm 23.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.  
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He restores my soul.

I'll be honest, I was skeptical.

But rousing something probably less impressive than a mustard seed, I tried to lean into that promise and face the day with faith in God's faithfulness.

And the Lord was very kind.  I felt energy and cheerfulness to move into the week with more buoyancy than has been normal of late.

And the morning was very busy.  Victor and I packed Daddy's lunch, sliced a loaf of bread, ate two fried eggs (that was Victor, ug), started two loads of laundry, re-organized the pantry shelves, built a tower, pulled a cart full of blocks, washed dishes, and went for a walk before Victor's 8:30am nap.

Thankful for the Lord's kindness yet again.

Delight and Consolation

Psalm 119:92, “If Your law had not been my delight, then I would have perished in my affliction.”

Spurgeon writes in his Treasury of David on this verse:

In our darkest seasons nothing has kept us from desperation but the promise of the Lord: yea, at times nothing has stood between us and self-destruction save faith in the eternal word of God. When worn with pain until the brain has become dazed and the reason well-nigh extinguished, a sweet text has whispered to us its heart-cheering assurance, and our poor struggling mind has reposed upon the bosom of God. That which was our delight in prosperity has been our light in adversity; that which in the day kept us from presuming has in the night kept us from perishing. (vol. 3, p. 316)

Psalm 94:19, “When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.”

Fighting Fear

"Fear comes from a wrong focus."

Andree Seu spoke at the Women's Conference this year at Bethlehem Baptist, and her answer for fighting fear is to change one's focus from the many anxiety-producing facts of your life to the biggest fact in your life... that God is your Father.

Her messages are honest, personal, Scripture-filled, and wise. I hope they may be an encouragement.

‘You Are Mine’ Do You Believe It? - Women's Spring Conference, Session One

‘You Are Mine’ Do You Believe It? - Women's Spring Conference, Session Two

‘You Are Mine’ Do You Believe It? - Women's Spring Conference, Session Three

Lord, Save Me

Today is the memorial service for Buzz Sawyer, a man of God, simple in words and great in giving.

Psalm 119:94a, “I am Yours; save me.”

Spurgeon writes in his Treasury of David on this verse:

A comprehensive prayer with a prevailing argument. Consecration is a good plea for preservation. If we are conscious that we are the Lord’s we may be confident that he will save us. We are the Lord’s by creation, election, redemption, surrender, and acceptance; and hence our firm hope and assured belief that he will save us. A man will surely save his own child: Lord, save me. The need of salvation is better seen by the Lord’s people than by any others, and hence their prayer—“save me”; they know that only God can save them, and hence they cry to him alone; and they know that no merit can be found in themselves, and hence they urge a reason fetched from the grace of God,--“I am thine.” (vol. 3, p. 317)

We belong to the Lord by grace, and we lay claim to His help by grace. Since He has already gone to the utmost expense to bring us into His favor, He won't refuse anything else that would be for our good.

Romans 8:32, "He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?"

Though the Earth Should Change

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride

(Psalm 46:1-3).

Such familiar words, and comforting. But yesterday reading them, I was struck by the particular aptness of the words “though the earth should change.” Change is often what I fear. Not that the way life is right now is perfect, but I know it. Not that the world has no problems, but right now I feel comfortable facing them. But what if things change? What if I can’t take what comes?

So basic and uncomplicated. There is a refuge which can never be shaken. There is an unchanging reality who promises to be near, whatever comes. Bank on Him, and I won’t fear. Whatever He sends me, even if it is a cataclysm that destroys the whole landscape of my life, He will send His own presence and help too. He is not just present, in fact … He is a very present help. May it be so, Lord, and knowing it, let my heart be calm.

When Trouble Comes

Some further notes from Paul Tripp’s talk at our church on Wednesday…

Look at Hebrews 11:17-19:

By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was offering up his only begotten son; it was he to whom it was said, ‘In Isaac your descendants shall be called.’ He considered that God is able to raise people even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type.

It makes no sense to us. It seems to be lunacy, absolute folly even to consider the command to offer up that one miracle son that God had promised and then finally given.

But it says, “when he was tested.” There is no extricating God from this mess—He is the one who is actually testing Abraham. This is no sadistic “pop quiz” kind of test like you have in junior high. Here God is refining, tempering, doing something good in him.

I am yet in need of refinement, so grace will take forms of violence and pain as God works to bring my heart closer and closer to Him. God will take you where you haven’t intended to go … to produce in you that which you could not produce on your own. This is uncomfortable grace.

The psalmist says, “May the bones You have broken rejoice.” In order to purify your heart, God will break your bones. Relief and release are ultimately coming, but right now what I most desperately need is refinement. I am tempted to be satisfied right where I am … but God won’t leave me there.

Many times we cry, Where is the grace of God? And we’re getting it. Loving arms of redemption wrapped around us when we could never deserve it. We are so content with where we are; we’re so arrogant. We’re so good at swindling ourselves out of a deeper and sweeter life. I have a perverse ability to feel okay about things in my life that I should not feel okay about. God wants you to have nothing but Him because He is your only hope.

If I were “on the joystick,” I would choose not to go through difficult times. Yet when they come, we meet God in ways we would not have done otherwise.

Looking at Abraham’s example, here are three things to embrace when the difficult comes:

1. God’s promises (Hebrews 11:18). Abraham did believe God would be faithful to His promise. Do you rest in God’s promises? Do you see them as reliable in every circumstance? The words in Hebrew in the Genesis account where Abraham builds the altar (on which he will offer his son) indicate a man at rest—he is working neatly and in order. Abraham’s rest in the promises of God is visible even in how he constructs the altar he did not understand.

2. God’s power (Hebrews 11:19). Abraham considered God strong enough even to raise Isaac from the dead, if that’s what He chose. Do you believe the remarkable, creative, sovereign power of God? Remember the story of David and Goliath. The Israelites looked at the equation Little Us vs. Big Giants and trembled. But David looked at the equation as Little Giant vs. Huge God and did not fear.

3. God’s faithfulness. Abraham was convinced that God would not turn from His purpose. In that moment of crisis is not where faith quits—it’s where faith lives. Our hope is not in a system of redemption but in a great Redeemer. And because of His kindness to us in Jesus, this moment, albeit painful, is grace. I know it because His face toward me is grace. Let my heart cry, “Give me the grace to receive this as grace … and be glad.” We can’t work up faith; it’s a gift.

Lord, let me truly sing, My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

Not Miser's Money

Do we suspect that God is stingy with His grace or hesitant to keep His promises? I surely do at times.

A wonderful quote:

“God’s promises were never meant to be thrown aside as waste paper; he intended that they should be used. God’s gold is not miser’s money, but is minted to be traded with. Nothing pleases our Lord better than to see his promises put in circulation; he loves to see his children bring them up to him, and say, Lord, do as thou hast said. We glorify God when we plead his promises.”

- Charles Spurgeon, Morning & Evening, January 15

HT: Of First Importance