My Favorites

A dump of some of my most favorite moments, quotes, and quips from some of my most favorite people...

Josiah: One of the most common ways that I travel is on all fours.

We have 2 paper hole punches. One is new and cuts through the paper smoothly; one is old and tough. Josiah's commentary: …because it’s older and it knows what’s coming and umph (resists)

The boys, eating beef jerky:

I am a tiger eating a cow.

This feeds my loud side.

I feel stronger now, Mom!

Calvin, routinely: Thanks, mom *love*
Chatty: so descriptive, detailed
Water towers: giant marshmallows, rockets
Help making lunch, washing dishes, cleaning bathrooms
Occasional naps
Bible lessons, good insights
Apologies for fussing
Potty success
Dear Father, thank You for this beautiful day and thank You…

Jemima's words: 

ba, ba, ba (drum)
Ha! (Hi)
Mamama
Dadada
Baby!
Bap (= dog)

 
Jemima's hobbies: Rummage in onion and potato bin, chew on potatoes, eat thin onion papers, and puke

Calvin: mom I’m hungry
Mom: Yes I’m making supper
Calvin: Not that kind of hungry.

Elliot: I for surely know…

Calvin: Mom, right here on my lip hurts.
Mom: I’m sorry, why do you think it hurts?
Calvin: Maybe from driving.

Eating ice cream sandwich, Calvin: Mom, my fingers are muddy

Victor: Which season do you like better, summer or winter?
Calvin: Summer, because it’s more not snowy than winter

Shoe sizes:

Calvin: child 10
Elliot: child 13
Josiah: youth 3/4
Victor: men's 8

One day I was having Josiah put sugar snap peas on each plate for lunch. I told him to put 4 on each plate. After doing so, he discovered there were still a few sugar snap peas left in the bag. He (reasonably) presumed I was trying to use up all the peas.
Josiah: Mom, you were wrong. That’s the first time!

New habit: Josiah heading outside before everyone is up to read his Bible outside

Josiah: My outer body is ready for a soak

Calvin: What color do you think the skin will be?
Mom: What skin?
Calvin: The skin under my scab
Mom: Well, it will probably be fresh new skin that’s the same color as your other skin
Calvin: I think it will be black.

Josiah: My favorite flavor of ice cream is strawberry. Smooth, without any fruits or vegetables in it.

Calvin: Another day, when Jemima grows up, she’s going to be a toddler.

7/28/22 Victor finished reading whole Bible

 

 Jemima, after finding a donut Ben had given me (note crumbs on face).
She was a Very Happy Girl.

The Boundless Freedom of Being Led by the Spirit

To the untrained eye, life right now bears some similarities to house arrest. Do your emotions resonate? Do you feel trapped in your own walls, perhaps chaffing at the "cell mates" who are always right beside you? Or maybe there is no one else there with you, and the silence itself feels oppressive.

In Bible study, we've been marinating in Galatians 5 and 6, and the gospel gong that resounds here is "freedom."

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. (Galatians 5:13)

But this morning, what landed on me in a fresh way was this:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)

I've wondered in the past, why this curious phrasing? Why is Paul bringing up how no law restricts the Spirit, rather than pointing to the positive "filling up" of the law, like he does in other places:

The whole law is fulfilled in one word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:14)

Or

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2)?

I can't give a full answer, but one aspect that struck me this morning is this:

No external constraints steal our freedom to walk in the Spirit.

Right now, our movements are limited, our employment may be terminated or paused, our in-person fellowship in the body of Christ isn't possible in the traditional format, and we aren't really sure when any of that will change.

But none of that restricts the boundless freedom we have of being led by the Spirit of God and bearing the beautiful, life-giving fruit of communion with Jesus.

Paul himself knew something of house arrest and chains.

As we look back on that long, painful experience in his life, we can see what God produced through it ... countless disciples of Christ, large and priceless portions of the Scripture, and an example for us to emulate in our own walk of faith.

And maybe we can envision how our walking in the Spirit in these days of physical constraint might be used by God for eternal fruit "beyond all we ask or imagine."

May He grant us eyes of faith to see our true freedom and express it in love to others, whether we can reach out and touch them personally or whether we are asking God Himself to do so.

He Is Worthy

A real Friday. A terrible pain.

The day when the Lamb of the world was slain,

When the Light was crushed, whom the Father gave,

The Lord of life put into a grave.

The day toward which our hopes were bent.

The day for which the Son was sent.

A day of infamy, cruelty, death,

He uttered a cry and gave His last breath.

He is worthy.

'Tis So Sweet

You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours." Yeah, and it's truth too.

Last week, for example.

My back began hurting.
The washer broke.
Our neighbor delivered some horribly sad and troubling news about our friends across the street.
Our kitchen light stopped working.
The dryer vent came unplugged from the wall.
My tongue hurt.
Rebellion and hardness of heart seemed the prevailing attitude of one of our children.
Our youngest son screamed for two and a half hours after being put to bed one night.
My husband and son saw a mouse run across the kitchen floor.
I experienced nights of lying awake for hours, unable to sleep.

This particular list of experiences may not match your own, but I don't doubt you have walked through a similar season of "why is everything going wrong?"

And what does that do to our heart?

If you are like me, the instinctive response is an ugly combination of fear, frustration, anger, questioning, and self-pity. Sometimes bitterness, jealousy of others (who may have had a good day), and unkindness join the mix. To be honest, I can even feel justified in shaking my fist at God or lashing out at the people in closest proximity to me because, well, this is really yucky.

It is not natural to me to stop for a moment and reflect on the purposes of God in it all. But in his remarkable mercy, God has chosen to speak to his people. And in his word, he even gives us some sweet glimpses of his behind-the-scenes purposes when we encounter this colorful kaleidoscope of trouble.

At the bottom of our struggle comes a beautiful promise, a promise told and reiterated throughout the Bible.

For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.--Philippians 1:6

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren.--Romans 8:28-29

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.--James 1:2-4

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.--1 Peter 1:6-7

For this slight, momentary affliction is preparing for you an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things which are seen, but to the things that are unseen, for the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.---2 Corinthians 4:17-18

It seems that, despite our instinct to trust our senses--our ability to see and make sense of all we encounter--God prizes and purposes to craft within us faith ... an ability to rest in him, hope in him, and trust him when the lights go out.

And while these "pop quizzes" of faith may not be the gift of grace that we would choose given alternate options, with the lens of truth God can help us receive them as a sweet opportunity to grow in trusting Christ.

The Biggest Problem

What is your biggest problem right now?

If you're like me, ideas come easily to mind.

Money problems.
Kids who disobey.
Lack of sleep.
Stressful relationships at work.
A husband who doesn't understand.
No husband at all.

Whatever the list, my tendency (and maybe yours?) is to totally miss the real problem.

Here's the worst case scenario.

1 Cor. 15:16-17 "For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised, and if Christ has not been raised, your faith is worthless, you are still in your sins."

There is no resurrection.
Christ has not been raised.
Your faith is worthless.
You are still in your sins.

Let the shock and horror of that land, just for a second.

Under judgment.
Lost forever.
Without hope, without God in the world.
Absolute despair of pardon.
Eternal separation from God.
Hell.

That, my friends, is a desperate, awful prospect.

And now, let the word of truth fill that picture with reality (and let the relief flood over you).

Christ has come.
Death is defeated.
He is risen.
Your faith--albeit weak or unsteady--if in Christ is not in vain.
You will never be alone.
Nothing can snatch you from His love.
Christ has triumphed, and in Him, God has purposed for all of eternity to cover you with kindness.

Hope spreads before you like an eternal ocean, because you are His and He is yours.

Where is your biggest problem?

It is crushed and disarmed by the death-defying, hope-bringing resurrection of Jesus.

Your Last 2 Pennies

And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury. And He saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins. And He said, "Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them; for they all out of their surplus put into the offering, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on." Luke 21:1-4

We admire this widow, don't we? To be "caught" (by Jesus) in the act of such sweet, unself-conscious worship of the Almighty God, to so trust in the Faithful Creator that we wouldn't cling to our last two coins but tuck them secretly in the offering plate and leave all our future to His care ... that would be a gracious thing indeed.

When it comes down to our own lives, we may find it a little hard to relate. Sure, money might be tight, but most of us have more than two coins to rub together. But maybe we can glean a lesson from this widow nonetheless.

There are days when you do feel, quite literally, like you are down to your last two pennies' worth of energy. Or patience. Or stamina. Or strength.

Days when the baby cries, the toddler has an accident on the carpet, supper burns, your jeans rip, siblings squabble, and your beloved husband totally misses the cue that you need help. You feel like you're drowning in a sea of need with no lifeboats in sight.

Months--maybe years--when you never sleep through a night uninterrupted.
Not just a pile, but mountain ranges of laundry, unfolded and unsorted.
Dishes from breakfast crowding out the crusts left from lunch where you are trying to make supper.

Mommy, I need to be wiped.
Mommy, I want a cup of juice.
Mommy, I lost my boot at the park.
Mommy, my science project is due tomorrow.
Mommy, please braid my hair.
Mommy, can you give me a ride to the party?
Mommy, the dog just puked.
Mommy, he broke my toy.
Mommy, where is my backpack?
Mommy, I don't like this food.

Days of fog and fatigue that threaten to crush out your last ounce of cheer with the sheer mountain of work that lies around you.

What do you do, when you're down to your last two cents' worth of energy, and one more crisis comes? You want to scream, "Have mercy! Doesn't anyone here care that I haven't showered in a week, haven't eaten breakfast or lunch, can't find matching socks for any member of this family, and have a splitting headache?" You have only one set of hands to meet all the avalanche of need that keeps rolling over you. You've been pressed down, wrung out, and hung to dry, and you feel like you have simply nothing left to give.

Nothing but two tiny pennies' worth of care.

This is the time, sweet friend, when you may offer a gift of immeasurable worth. When you trust that God will somehow see, somehow supply, somehow sustain you after you pour out your last two cents' worth of strength--that is an offering that Jesus sees and receives.

When you give "all that you have to live on," it is there that you find He is watching. He cares, and He counts those two pennies' poured out as very great indeed.

P.S. But read this too... 

Incidentally, I didn't write this because I'm feeling down to my last two pennies. When I showed it to Ben before posting, he said, "Oh, are you feeling overwhelmed?" And I'm not, right now. I've been there. But this has been a sweet season of largely refreshment and peace. 

The Song We Will Sing

There is a song we will sing one day,
That will set our hearts aflame with joy.
A song we cannot finish yet
But one day will. One day we will.

There is a song we will sing one day
About the pain that breaks our hearts.
The notes are bitter, aching pain,
The song we sing, unfinished song,
The song that groans and weeps today.

There is a song we sing today
Of unfinished stories, empty arms,
A song about the dreams that broke,
The hope that flew to somewhere else,
The end of what never began.

There is a song we will sing one day
Triumphant, tender, full of awe,
A tragedy turned inside out
And set to song, a soaring song.
There is a song we will sing one day,
Sing together, laugh out loud
At how impossibly beautiful
He made our song, our final song.

If It Doesn't Kill You

Looking at my calendar today, it struck me as odd that it was only 3 weeks ago that Ben had his birthday.  It was only 2 weeks ago that we went to the emergency room.  It was 1 week ago that we had our first sleeping-through-the-night again, post cold.

Victor and I went to Once Upon a Child today, to get some new shoes (since his toe is poking out of his current pair).  He coughed once.  I don't think I'm normally the paranoid type, but I will admit that to hear him cough makes my heart skip a beat.  A month ago, when he was coming out of his first cold, I was telling someone at church that he had been sick and it had been pretty rough.  He laughed at me (the first-time mom) and waved a hand, saying, "Amy, he'll be fine!" 

I'm sure there is some first-time mom stress involved.  But my experience of his two sick spells of late pressed me closer to excruciating than I have been for a very long time.  More than one night, I lay in bed (or sat in the dark in the living room), listening for Victor, with the minutes ticking by in a helpless, agonizing struggle.

A week ago, he started perking up and showing us his old cheerful self, and I felt like I was panting, like I had been underwater until my lungs ached and finally gasped in some clean, pure air again.  I was in recovery myself, I think, and not just from sleep deprivation.

1 Peter 1 says that God gives us various struggles for a little while--if necessary--for the proof of our faith.  Maybe it's like weight-lifting (which, though you may find it difficult to believe, I participated in twice a week in high school).  You bench press a comfortable weight to start out.  Then you increase it for your second set.  And often times, you'll finish by trying to max it--lift the greatest weight you can handle (which never took a whole lot for me).

After the last set, your arms are shaking.  Your muscles are broken down and exhausted.  (I remember some very awkward attempts to wash my hair post-workout, when I could barely get my arms up to my head.)  But after you've rested for a day or two, you are stronger than you were before.  As they say, if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger.

I don't know if I feel stronger yet.  When I think about Victor getting sick again (and I know it's going to happen), I just feel limp inside.  But God was faithful.  And He will be faithful. 

Last week I listened to this brief discussion with Pastor John on What Is Strong Biblical Womanhood?.  He talks about the woman who laughs at the future (from Proverbs 31), who does what is right without being frightened by any fear (from 1 Peter 2).  I want to be a woman like that. 

I don't have strong faith.  But I have a strong God.  And since He's patient and wise and good, He doesn't give suffering to crush but to strengthen my faith.  May it be.

Night of Wakefulness

12am.
1am.
2am.
3am.
4am.

Lying in the dark, the heavy hand of weariness pressing down.  Mind buzzing with no thoughts.  Ears straining for the next cough to punctuate the stillness.  Groaning for him, and groaning for me.

Trying to fight the futility and frustration and thoughts of the coming day with Philippians 4.

Rejoice in the Lord always.
Let your gentle spirit be known to all men.
The Lord is near.
Be anxious for nothing.
Whatever is good, honorable, pure, right, of good repute, excellent, worthy of praise, dwell on these things.


I can't always tell if he's whimpering, or if it's just me.

I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.

How would we learn that lesson, with no broken days and nights?

Valiant Faith

I've been thinking further about living with valiant faith this year.  (See previous post.)

I want to be more intentional about stepping out in faith, confident in God's purposes and His grace to empower a desire for good.

(That's from 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12, "To this end also we pray for you always, that our God will count you worthy of your calling and fulfill every desire for goodness and the work of faith with power, so that the name of our Lord Jesus will be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.")

So I'm aiming to try something daily that is (at least in desire) a step of valiant faith.  Not a limp, half-hearted, lethargic, semi-serious endeavor, but something that isn't natural to me that I must lean on the Holy Spirit for help and look for His hand to make it good.

This morning's step: Getting up an hour early to finish (in spirit) the All Night of Prayer with my own special prayer time.  It was cold and dark and sleepy, and I really didn't want to get up.  But the Lord did make it a sweet and encouraging time in the Word, praying for my own heart, my family, and lots of other people who are dear to us.

(And I took 2 naps later in the day, so I can hardly count that as a sacrifice!)