Our Story: Engagement, Wedding, and Grace Ever After

To start at the beginning of the story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.  Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight. Fifth installment, see Our Story: Just a Hint. Sixth installment, see Our Story: What Is Going On?. Seventh installment, see Our Story: Meeting and the Long Summer. Eighth installment, see Our Story: Drama, Courtship, and Travel. Ninth installment, The Break-up, the Un-break-up, and Walking into Love

Our Story: Engagement, Wedding, and Grace Ever After

And so it happened.

June 2, 2008

Hello, friends!

Saturday (5/31) was a very beautiful day. Very, very beautiful.

For those of you who haven’t heard the beginning of the story (and believe me, it’s quite the epic tale of God’s faithfulness…through all kinds of rough stretches), Ben Katterson moved to Minneapolis about 3 years ago to be a part of Bethlehem Baptist, where I work. I met him right away, because I knew his dad and his older brother (actually, his sister-in-law took over the urban ministry position I used to have, so I trained her in!). But we were mere acquaintances until a year and a half ago, when the South Site of Bethlehem opened. I worked at the Information Booth every Sunday, all morning, and Ben helped with set-up and tear-down and the nursery, and (someone observed after several months) he seemed to hang out at the Info Booth pretty frequently.

Fast-forwarding through some remarkable, crazy times, it was last year, August 14, 2007 when Ben asked if he could officially court me. Sometime I’ll have to write the long version of it all (if it were of any use to others, it could be a book…).

Well, this particular part of the story began a week and a half ago. Our friend Elijah invited us to a graduation dinner last Sunday night (before Memorial Day), but when I called to ask Ben if we wanted to go, he said that we “had something on” (translated: he was planning something). A couple days later, however, he told me that Sunday wouldn’t work and could we plan on this week instead. Well, it was a very busy week, but Saturday looked like a possibility.

He picked me up around 9:30am on Saturday, and we started driving west…ultimately finding our way to the Arboretum (a U of M marvel of gardens and groves and hills…miles of them--all for curious wanderers to explore) in Chanhassen. I was a bit skeptical (it was $7 a person to get in, and I’m a cheapskate), but it was breath-takingly lovely and a worthwhile investment! We spent most of the morning and early afternoon driving around a 3-mile loop…stopping to get out and meander around the gardens. Ben had some pastries and cold bottles of pop for a mid-morning snack, and we sat on a bench and read some out of the book we’ve been going through. Blue skies, fluffy clouds, soft summer warmth, lilacs in the air—like only God could have given.

We saw odd botanical sculptures, groves of weeping willows, azalea bushes heavy with blossoms, a (not-yet-blooming) rose garden, pine and fir trees, wide varieties of hedges, wide-opened tulips, and a “hedge maze,” complete with little benches tucked away in the dead ends.

After the maze, Ben looked at his watch and said, “Oh, it’s 2 o’clock!” Hmm. 2’oclock. That’s nice.
He said, “Let’s go back to the car and get the book. It’s your turn to read.” Okay.

So we went back to the car and drove a little further, stopped and climbed out. Um, are you going to bring the book? I asked. “Oh yeah.”

We found a bench facing a gentle sloping valley that met a hill stretching out in front of us, with a big red barn on it (nice to have a landmark so I can find it again sometime!). Ben said, “I forgot something. Wait here a minute.” He ran off to the car, and I savored the view and especially the fact that it was not thunderstorming like was a forecasted possibility.

Ben got back with the black book (we exchange notes in it) and said I could save it until after we read a while. So I started the next chapter of Love that Lasts on conflict…about how conflict starts with a desire that clashes with someone else’s desire…and turns into a demand and grows (sometimes almost instantly) into a god, without which we WILL NOT be satisfied.

We were about half-way through the chapter when Ben said, “That’s a good stopping point. Well, it’s not really a good stopping point, but let’s stop anyway.” Okay.

He told me I could read my note in the black book, so I flipped it open to the latest entry. It was a sweet note, starting with the words to “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” and ending with 1 John 3:1-2, our church memory verse for the week.

I finished reading and looked at him.

He said, “I love you.

“I know we’re both sinners, and there will be lots of times when we fail and stumble and sin. But I really desire to lead you and to be an instrument in your life, like Ephesians 5 talks about, that you would be pure and spotless when you stand before our Groom, Jesus Christ.

Will you marry me?”

And I said…yes! (Actually, I kind of whispered it, because my voice wasn’t really working.)

He said, “May I give you a token of my commitment? I don’t know all the things that are symbolic about a ring…a circle, because it’s a covenant that never ends, a diamond to show how valuable you are to me. [But I couldn’t get a diamond big enough for that, because I don’t have enough money. I don’t think anyone in the world has enough for that.] But it’s also a cultural symbol that shows that you’re mine.” And then he pulled out of his pocket (a little nervously, lest he drop it down the hill) the most beautiful ring I ever saw.

And we sat there and stared at the hill for quite a while. And he prayed for us. And I felt so overwhelmed at the unearned mercy of God to bring such a gift (the ring is nice…but the gentleman…he is the treasure) that I didn’t really have anything to say.

Well, that’s the story (well, at least this particular chapter of it). Lots of details not really nailed down, but we’re thinking maybe a mid-October wedding. Maybe I’ll be used to the feel of a ring on my finger by then.

Thanks for caring and praying. I’d love to share some other stories of how God has done great things in this really unexpected turn in my life. Praying you know His grace today.

In Christ,
Amy (soon-to-be Katterson)

“The LORD God is a sun and shield. The LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11

So began our 4 1/2-month season of engagement. I'm not a swimmer, but I envision engagement like the pre-race jitters where you're getting suited up, shaking your arms and legs, reviewing the race plan, taking the stand, and crouching in adrenaline-filled anticipation of the real race about to begin. It is not a place I would choose to live for long, drawn-out periods of time.

Nevertheless, engagement had some really sweet graces for us.

One, we started regular "pray and plans." We would meet somewhere, list out details that needed to be settled, ask for God's help on them, and plow through the planning. Pray-and-plans are a habit that carried on into married life and has been the source of some of our sweetest connections and breakthroughs all these years.

Two, we had a certain kind of freedom in wedding planning. No need to survey all the dresses, venues, menus, or songs in the world. Just pray for God's help, look for a good option, take it, and move on. A great enemy of peace and contentment is the illusion that everything must be "best and most beautiful" in order to have a joyful, meaningful wedding celebration.

And on October 18, 2008, a beautiful autumn day, we became husband and wife. And we have experienced God's faithfulness and grace ever after.

P.S. Have we been happy ever after? Certainly not.

There have been seasons of great pain, struggle, and grief. Our first few years of marriage were both sweet and hard (a season in which I was freed from the false notion that I am a nice person).

Yet today I am absolutely stunned at the kindness of God to give me a husband and family that are just right for my personal thriving, growth in godliness, and very great enjoyment. Trusting God to know what my heart needed better than I did has been one of the sweetest gifts I've received.

Our Story: The Break-up, the Un-break-up, and Walking into Love

To start at the beginning of the story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.  Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight. Fifth installment, see Our Story: Just a Hint. Sixth installment, see Our Story: What Is Going On?. Seventh installment, see Our Story: Meeting and the Long Summer. Eighth installment, see Our Story: Drama, Courtship, and Travel.


The Break-up, the Un-break-up, and Walking into Love
i.e. Why Dads Are Important

So there we were, Christmas 2007. Ben had come to Iowa for a brief visit at Thanksgiving, but Christmas was the first significant stretch of time together on "my turf," with my family.

Looking back at that time, I would characterize it something like this. 

For 26 years, my family had been a warm, safe, happy place. Mealtimes were hilarious, traditions were sweet, camaraderies were strong. It was like singing a song with all the parts harmonizing together. In a certain deep way, I was who I was because of who I was with them.

Adding a zany, extrovert, adventurous, tumbleweed-type fellow to the mix introduced a discordant tune that I couldn't sing along to. And I wasn't sure I wanted to learn.

Ben and I went out for a date one night in Iowa. We ate pasta at Zio Johno's (the tasty, though not horribly authentic, Italian restaurant of my youth). I noticed uneasily that I would've possibly preferred to stay home and be with my sisters and parents. 

Ben had a great idea one day and enthusiastically proposed that we go sledding at a huge hill nearby. My family, accommodating and non-confrontational, though not particularly adventurous, went along.

In the tangle of emotions, I felt a rising sense of uneasiness to walk ahead on this road. If I'm second-guessing the decisions he's making and fighting frustration for the ways he is changing the status quo, what am I doing "moving toward marriage"? This does not seem like a good idea.

So, late Thursday night, I scribbled out a lengthy note, invited Ben for a walk the next morning, and let him read my proposal that we pray about breaking up (or whatever it is you do when you stop courting).

It was quite a blow.

And the timing was impeccable. Within hours, my dad's entire side of the family descended on our house for a weekend-long Christmas celebration, and there wasn't a corner of quiet to be found. 

Neither Ben nor I mentioned to anyone else what had unfolded, but somehow (ah, the perceptions of parents) my parents knew exactly what was going on. 

Saturday morning I went for a run with my dad, my sister Lori, and Ben. When we got home, the others went inside, and my dad asked if I wanted to walk to cool down a little. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked. 

"Sad," I said.

"Do you see the Lord working in Ben's life?" he asked.

"Well, definitely. But it just doesn't seem like a good idea to say we're pursuing marriage if I actually don't really trust him to make good decisions," I said.

"That's wise, but you're also pretty early in the process of getting to know each other. Maybe instead of cutting it off, you could take a step back, slow down the process," he said.

Hmm, that's a thought, I thought.

Sunday morning we all went to church. The church where I grew up, attending multiple times a week since infancy. Never before had I brought a guy to church with me. And, in classy form, I wouldn't even stand within 10 feet of him. He was left thoroughly to his own devices.

Sunday afternoon Ben and I loaded our things into a car for the drive back to Minnesota. 

We started the trip 100% broken up.

But an interesting thing happened as we drove. I had the grace to articulate some of the big red flags that were bothering me so much. The overwhelming force of emotion from Ben that felt like a burden of expectation. The questions about his decision-making. And he listened. He listened really well.

By the time he dropped me off in front of 1604 Elliot Ave, we were no longer broken up. And that began a January of soul-searching for both of us.

I was in James at the time, and James 2:8 struck a deep chord: "If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well."

Had I been loving my neighbor as myself? Had I been treating Ben like I wanted to be treated? Certainly, I wanted authenticity and openness from him, yet I had been holding myself back, keeping him at an arms' length while I conducted my own brand of "risk assessment." My own self-protection was a kind of insurance policy that had kept me from true give and take with him. 

I apologized to him.

And he was undergoing his own painful process of inner growth, learning to hold back his emotions and not try to pull a response from me by sheer force of feeling. He started writing me notes regularly, with his own cartoons and clever artistry adorning each one.

By the end of January, I had a personal epiphany.

I had hesitated, applied the brakes, walked with caution, and prayed. I got lots of counsel, pulled back, and did my best to bail from the boat. I had done everything in my power to avoid a rash decision ... and God still had us together. 

So I made a decision.

Rollar coaster over. No more second guessing. If God wanted to end the relationship, redirect the course, He would certainly be good enough to do that.

But I was not going to give space to doubts anymore. 

Unless God shut the door, the course was set. This was a good gift that He was giving. And I would trust Him enough to take it.

Our Story: Drama, Courtship, and Travel

To start at the beginning of the story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.  Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight. Fifth installment, see Our Story: Just a Hint. Sixth installment, see Our Story: What Is Going On?. Seventh installment, see Our Story: Meeting and the Long Summer.


Drama, Courtship, and Travel
Getting Acquainted One Church Event at a Time




The summer of "friends getting to know one another" had another component. Ben was a part of the church drama group called the Messengers, led by a very gifted Filipino woman named Lotis. The day after our Dunn Bros conversation, Lotis said to me, "I understand you and Ben are moving forward in your relationship. Would you pray about joining our Messengers trip to the Philippines this fall?"


For a variety of reasons, that felt like a wild and crazy notion. Both of my bosses didn't think it would be a real wise idea, especially since I was already committed to a week of Jr High Camp that summer, but they didn't give a flat-out no. In the end, I joined the group and started preparing for the drama performance overseas.


August came in with a bang. Work-life balance was not a strong suit. Ministry Fair, Small Groups Kick-off, Covenant Affirmation, the start of Sunday school... The pace was pretty hectic, working weekends, and generally stretched a little too thin.

Mid-August I was part of an all-day South staff meeting. One of the agenda items was hiring a new part-time set-up tear-down assistant. The logistics coordinator told our campus pastor that he really didn’t want to consider anyone but Ben (who had been volunteering with the SUTD team since the campus started). He seemed like the right guy for the job.

Sitting there, I felt a sudden affection for this guy—he’d been volunteering continually since the South site opened; he was a hard worker and glad servant; and where I had felt some ambiguity and questions and doubt, I suddenly realized, I really liked him, wanted to be with him. It scared me a little, that the feelings for Ben might leave as quickly as they came. Trust the Lord, I had to preach to myself. He knows the state (and instability) of your heart. Lay it out to Him, and He’ll keep it where it needs to be.

Coincidentally (or not), the next day was August 14, and Ben had asked me out for a conversation. He drove us to Cafe Latte, and over a salad sampler and soup, Ben started in.

He said, "I would have to be a fool not to think about marriage when I thought of you."

He talked about many things, about God being at work in my life, his plans to get his elementary education degree, the possibility of a future in some faraway place sharing the gospel. He leveled with me on his sense of calling: missions and children, in some form or other. Could I do that?



He said, "I'd like you to be by my side for a really, really long time. So, when I call your dad, may I tell him that I have your permission to court you?"

I looked out the window past him. Lord, if this isn’t of You, if this isn’t Your will, please make it clear. I thought of the previous day’s revelation, that I really like Ben and wanted to be with him. I thought of God’s sovereignty, that He holds and unfolds all things according to His perfect will, and He will not let go of me.

I looked back at Ben, feeling half-excited, half-scared, and said, "Yes."

So there we were. Officially courting.

The fall barreled on. Monday nights I led a women's small group, Wednesdays were Wednesday Connection, and we had drama rehearsals every Thursday and Friday evening. Saturday night was church, and most of Sunday was serving at the South Campus. Our quality time together came mostly at church functions.

The trip to the Philippines was an intense experience all around. Two weeks with 20 people in close quarters. It was a wonderful privilege ... and very full. Full of performances, grace, exertion, travel, much spiritual warfare, cultural experiences, delicious food, sickness, emotional wrestling, and fatigue. We arrived home again basically blitzed just before Thanksgiving. 

And for the first time since our "formal relationship" began, there was actually time to consider a regular date night. Little did we know the real roller coaster was about to begin.

Very Thankful to Announce...

... a new little Katterson on the way! (ETA June 2018)

One of many reasons for joyful thanks to God on this special Thanksgiving Day.

Our Story: Meeting and The Long Summer

To start at the beginning of the story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.  Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight. Fifth installment, see Our Story: Just a Hint. Sixth installment, see Our Story: What Is Going On?.


The Meeting and The Long Summer
Ben Gives a Call



Two months passed. A painful scramble of no news and hints of interest that kept me on pins and needles.

It was toward the end of May when the phone call came, a voicemail actually.

Would you be free to talk, maybe sometime tomorrow?

Well, sure. (Incidentally, I found that my dad had gotten a phone call a few days earlier himself.)

So, on a Thursday evening before Memorial Day, Ben came to the door, and we walked down a block and over a block to Dunn Bros. I got a decaf white chocolate mocha, which Ben paid for. It sat there mostly undrunk, cooling while we talked.

Ben fiddled with his glass, leaned forward, and said, "You probably already know this, but I'm very attracted to you. I've been talking to David Livingston, so all my wisdom is coming from him. First and foremost, I want this to be based on Jesus Christ. And I'd like to get you know you more."

The conclusion of the conversation: We were officially "friends getting to know one another." And when we got back to the house, he gave me a bouquet of little white flowers.

So began a rather tumultuous and emotionally turbulent summer, for me.

My whole family was actually coming to town a few days after that fateful meeting, so after the Saturday night worship service, Ben drove me in his little black Geo to Baker's Square to meet them all at dinner.

I was pretty giddy and happy there, finally to have some explicit confirmation of interest. But then the other side of me spoke loudly about the impracticality of it all ... It could never work. We are too different.

One evening a few weeks later, four other couples and Ben and I had dinner at the South office. We played round robin ping-pong and hit around a volleyball outside in the rain. Ben was goofy, and I felt conspicuous amongst the other "confirmed couples." The next few days were full of analyzing. I felt like we were from two different worlds--his exotic and far away and full of change and adventure ... and mine stable, focused, disciplined, secure. I felt very far away from him and a little scared at the way forward.

Weeks went by, and I continued conflicted.

We would see each other periodically. Sometimes Ben would seek me out, and I would feel a mixture of excitement and dread. Sometimes we would miss each other, and I would feel agitated and uncertain.

I found myself in the church kitchen one day that summer, mixing up brownie mixes for a big event. The solitude was so calming, and I prayed for God to lay bare my heart, to show me what the motives were behind all this turmoil.

Was it pride, thinking I was better than Ben? Was it fear that I would be thrown from everything known and familiar? Was it legitimate lack of connection? Was it avoiding conflict and not wanting to disappoint him or others?

The sense came to me that I was projecting beyond where today was--trying to find feeling in myself beyond our status, trying to peer into the future and see what would happen in 10 years, if I would be married to a stranger in a strange place. I wasn't waiting for the Lord to unfold His will moment by moment, quiet in His hands, receiving just what He was pleased to give.

I read a little piece from the Word, and a peace fell. I could rest right here, right where we were... officially, friends intentionally getting to know one another. Not more, but not less.

It wasn't the end of the questions, but it steadied my heart through a few more weeks of wrestling.

Announcements, announcements

The Katterson boys wanted to share some news.

Praising God for another precious gift, joining the Katterson family (Lord willing) in April 2016.

Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning (Ps. 30:5).

Our Story: What Is Going On?

To start at the beginning of the story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.  Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight. Fifth installment, see Our Story: Just a Hint.


What Is Going On?
Anticipation, Suggestion, Uncertainty


“I do know that waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts.”
― Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control

  
 Following the white chocolate episode, I was on pins and needles. 

Was it nothing? 
Or was it something? 

A few quiet days passed.

After church the following Saturday, Ben's dad Ed saw me in the bookstore. 

"Do you know anything about moving plans?" he asked.

"Umm, no, I don't believe so," I said, not sure what he was talking about. But then again, there had been a lot of moving plans lately.

"Oh, I didn't know if Ben told you about the moving party at Nathan and Laura's house tomorrow. I don't know who all will be there, but you could come for lunch at 2pm," he said.

"Oh, okay, sounds good," I said. A moving party, sounded safe enough.

So, on Sunday after tear-down, I drove to Nathan and Laura's house for lunch around 2pm. Ed was there, and little one-year-old Gwyn. And Nathan and Laura. That's all.

Trying to appear nonchalant, I played with Gwyn and read her a book. Mid-way through the book, there was a commotion in the stairwell, and up came Ben. (He had no idea I would be there.)

It was a quiet lunch of taco casserole and family reminiscing. No one seemed to think it odd that I was sitting there for the conversation, and no one seemed in a great hurry to do whatever moving needed to be done. 

Shortly before I had to leave to set up the Shepherd Leader's Meeting, they got to work, moving a queen bed from one room to another. I carried a pillow.

____________________________________

 The following weekend, my parents came to town. On Friday, my mom and Karin Livingston and I went out for lunch together to one of my favorite coffee shops. 

As we chatted and ate, Karin said to my mom casually, "Don't worry, any guys who are interested in Amy have to talk to David."


"Actually," she continued, "there was a young man who talked to David this week." (News to me.)

She went on, "The Chocolate Man." (Whoops. Hadn't mentioned the white chocolate incident to my parents yet.)

"He's a good guy, very good with his little niece, a servant. He needs a full-time job, and a little haircut." 


That night over supper at Applebees, I filled my parents in on the few odd occurrences of the past week or so. 

____________________________________

We dropped my mom off at the airport, and Saturday night, my dad met Ben at church. The Messengers were handing out flyers for their upcoming dramatic production as people entered the sanctuary, dressed in their white sweatshirts and sweatpants.

After church, Dad and I had supper at Davanni's.

"I'm impressed," he said. "You can tell a lot from a person's eyes."

____________________________________

There was a One Another gathering that Sunday evening (One Another was the somewhat short-lived singles ministry at church). I chatted with one of my small group ladies, Beth, and she invited me to play volleyball with some people (Ben included, incidentally) on Monday and Wednesday mornings at Hope Academy.

Since I played volleyball in high school, I showed up the next morning a little after 7, had fun, and tried to make it most Mondays and Wednesdays after that. 

____________________________________

The Messengers group was in the midst of productions. 

They traveled to Canada for a long weekend, and I found that the days dragged by and I agonized unreasonably over Ben's absence. Very unreasonably, considering that the status of our relationship was ... nothing. 

We still didn't really talk at length, saw each other only in passing here and there, and had never had any conversation whatsoever about any personal relationship.

____________________________________

Monday, April 2 (the day after Ben's birthday) I was at work. My phone rang, and it was Ben, calling with a few work-related questions.

After talking a couple minutes, he closed, "Hey, want to come to dinner tomorrow night at the O'Neals with my mom, Laura, and Gwyn?"

"Oh, um, let me check about changing a meeting with a friend, but I think I can come. Can I bring something?" I said.

"Why don't you bring brownies, and I'll bring ice cream," he said. And he gave me directions to the O'Neals.

(Aha, I thought. Not a date.)

____________________________________

 Tuesday I was jittery for a few different reasons. It was First Tuesday Fast, so I was running on empty by the end of the day. 

After work I had a really difficult, really intense meeting with a friend to confront some lifestyle choices she was making. It was a gut-wrenching discussion. By the time it ended and I gripped the steering wheel to drive to the O'Neals, nerves were getting to me. 

My feet and legs were shaking so badly that I could barely press the gas pedal.

____________________________________

The O'Neals are a delightful family and had adopted Ben to be their own "big brother." Besides being in Messengers together, he also came over for dinner with their family very regularly. Katie, Erin, Keith, and Amy were the children at home, and they were definitely close with Ben.

Ben's mom and her dog Bubba were visiting (Meri-Kay was between assignments to Nepal and Kenya). Laura and Gwyn completed the party. Dinner was a casual affair, and afterward we chatted and finally pulled out a game to play.

"Like It Or Lump It" it was called, and the devious spirits of those around the table were in full swing by the time Ben took his turn.

Everyone handed him a card from their hand (with impish grins), which he then had to organize in order of personal preference, with points going to the person who "read" him best and had the card selected as personal favorite.

Ben surveyed his cards, pondered, muttered under his breath, deliberated far longer than was comfortable, and carried on a running commentary about his options. I could feel my cheeks burning.

Finally, he slid them into his rank of preference:

Perfume.
Corvettes.
Hammering Nails.
Love Songs.
Volleyball.
Walking in the Rain.
Falling in Love.

My only defense was to feign total ignorance and strike up a conversation with whomever was sitting on my left.



After more games and much more conversation, the party finally disbanded. It was 11:15pm when Ben walked outside with me. I dusted the snow off my car while he stood in the middle of the street.

"It's slick; drive carefully," he warned.

Just as I was about to climb into my car, he said, "It was a lovely evening," he spoke very deliberately, "And I'm really enjoying getting to know you."

I drove away, all the crazy moments of the day playing loudly in my mind.

Well, I mused, at least I know what's going on. We're "getting to know" each other.

 

Our Story: Just a Hint

For the first installment of this long story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.  Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight.


Our Story: Just a Hint


On September 10, 2006 (the day before I turned 25), Bethlehem opened a South Campus. I worked for David Livingston, who would be pastoring at the new campus, and he asked me to make the transition with him.

South Campus. Mainly families. Not a lot of single guys (just to be candid). [This was my actual train of thought.]

But, it seemed like a great chance to be a part of something big that God was doing, and I would pretty much go anywhere David Livingston asked (since he's as much a "dad" as a boss), so I said yes.

Those were some crazy days, early on. We hauled two trailers' worth of paraphernalia to Burnsville South High School every Sunday, set up tables, chairs, Info Booth, coffee, and all the worship equipment, and then packed it up again at the end of the morning. I helped set up, sat at the Info Booth, and helped pack up. I remember sprawling on the floor of the 501 Building (our office) with my co-worker Meg, exhausted at the end of some of those Sundays.  

Incidentally, Ben Katterson showed up as a volunteer set-up / tear-down guy, coming early and staying late with the paid fellows. Once our nurseries were up and running both hours, he served in Nursery Blue (and did "Stanley" for the Bible story). Every single week.

____________________________________

One day in the office, Meg very casually mentioned, "You know who you should date?" (A funny question, actually, since I never dated anybody.)

"Um, no. Who?" I asked.

"Ben Katterson," she said.

I thought for a minute. "I think he's got better things to do than date girls."

End of conversation.

____________________________________

January 2007. I was having lunch at the Livingstons' on Sunday afternoon. 

Karin says, "Amy, does Ben Katterson like you?"

Me, flustered. "What? I don't know. He's never said so. Why are you asking that? 

Karin, "Well, he sure hangs out at the Info Booth a lot."

Me, "Everybody hangs out at the Info Booth."

End of conversation. 

However, this time I started paying attention, and oddly enough, Ben Katterson did appear to hang out at the Info Booth a fair bit. 

____________________________________

It started when a friend of mine needed some bookshelves moved and called me to see if I knew of any guys who could help. As it ended up, Ben could help, and another friend. Ben talked with a Russian accent the entire day.

The next week another friend called, because she was moving and wondered if I knew of any guys who could help

Again, Ben was willing. And he suggested that we could use his landlord's (i.e. Pastor Chuck) Suburban and trailer to help with the move.

It was a gray, soggy day, but we had enough help to get my friend Ann moved in pretty quickly. Nevertheless, Ben stayed until everything was settled, and he hooked up her computer. Somewhere in the process, we had an odd little conversation in the elevator, in which I mentioned a fondness for white chocolate. 

____________________________________

It was a couple weeks later, on a snowy day in March. Ben had to drop something off at my apartment. He stood on the front porch, shuffled his feet a little, and shoved a small parcel at me. Then he bounded off, curly blond hair bouncing.

I went inside and slowly closed the door. It was wrapped in white butcher paper, tied with twine, and marked with a black Sharpie in tidy writing: "I saw this at the store ... and thought of you. Ben K"

Inside was a big, saran-wrapped slab of white chocolate.

For some people, gifts from boys ... no biggie. But it felt like something seismic to me. 

And a very curious season began. Praying, waiting, wondering.

Our Story: First Sight

For the first installment of this long story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued. Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait.

Our Story: First Sight
Was That Love?



The summer of 2005 was notable for a few reasons. It was my first summer living in the 'hood in Minneapolis. It was my first summer working full-time (as a real, independent adult). And it was the summer that Ben moved to town.

One of my duties as the now-full-time Adult Ministry assistant was to coordinate the weekly Wednesday Connection meal.  We alternated between the parking lot of our under-construction North Campus (in Mounds View) and the parking lot of our Downtown Campus (in Minneapolis).  Hot dogs, chips, water.  This was not a complicated meal.  But you would hardly believe the trouble I had.

I wrote an essay about my experience that summer. Laugh or cry, you know? (I'll try to post the essay, but I only have a hard copy right now.)

Ed Katterson was my noble hot dog griller. On a Wednesday in June, I was rushing around, per the norm, when a lanky fellow peddled into the Downtown parking lot on a bicycle, his shoulder-length, curly blond hair billowing behind him. My impressions were of a high-octane smile and a bit of a wild appearance. Ed introduced him as his youngest son, newly moved to town to be a part of Bethlehem, Ben.

I said hi and continued on my stressed-out way. [Ben recalls feeling a bit deflated by my welcome. Little did he know what strenuous demands were riding on the shoulders of that distracted hot dog lady...]

The next time our paths crossed was at a game night at Ben and Melissa Piper's house, maybe a few weeks later. I had served as Ben Piper's ministry assistant for about 6 months, so we were friends, and they also invited their neighbors across the street (who happened to be Nathan and Laura Katterson),  another single guy, and ... Nathan's younger brother Ben. The card game we played [sadly, I don't recall what it was] involved going around the circle, each person laying down a card. In the course of play, Ben laid down a card, and I happened to lay down its pair. Ben looked over at me, with his wide grin, and said, "Well, I guess we'll have to get married!"

Cheeky man, I thought. He doesn't even know me.

Aside from crossing paths at morning prayer meetings and church, nothing notable marked our interactions after that. We were acquaintances (not particularly friends) and each heavily involved in different things. Ben was almost immediately drawn into the Messengers drama group (a performing arts group that presented at Bethlehem as well as traveled around the country) and some short-term missions trips with his dad, and I was leading a small group and a neighborhood Bible study and working too much.

It would be a year and a half before I had any indication God would be crossing our paths in a more significant way.

Next installment: Just a Hint

And It's a...

Dear Victor,

What a special gift God is giving us!

 

 The Bible talks about brothers all over the place--

Let love of the brethren continue.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit, brethren.

Brethren, join in following my example.

Yes, brother, let me benefit from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ.

Therefore, holy brethren, ... consider Jesus.

They aren't all brothers like you and the little guy coming to join our family, but God is using "brothers" to talk about how close and united and special we are to one another in the family of Jesus.

And Victor, you are going to have a little brother in our very own family!

How we pray that God will knit together your heart with this precious little boy and capture both of your hearts to fear and treasure Jesus so that you will be double brothers always!

Your Momma and Daddy are so thankful and happy to bring another sweet little boy to our home.

I think it will mean more of this...

 

And this...

And this...

 

And this...

 

And this...

 ... and what a great thing that is!

Together, may you fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses (1 Timothy 6:12).  

And may you be comrades, helpers, and friends to one another all your days.

We love you, our favorite little Victor, and we love you too, little boy #2.

Looking to Jesus,

Momma and Daddy

Showing Ducky the big news

Our Happy Birthday News

It was 32 years ago yesterday that my dark, quiet, warm world exploded into the loud, bright, colorful realm of life on earth.

I had no comprehension of the joy, pain, sweetness, and grace that would meet me on this road.

Wonderful family.  The gospel.  Cancer.  Bible studies.  Sweet church family.  College.  Work at Bethlehem.  Marriage to Benjamin.  Little spunky, cheerful Victor.  Seminary life. 

And that kind of brings us up to today ...

... and the wonderful gift of one more little Katterson on the way, Lord willing to break into this world somewhere near the end of March 2014.

Little one, I do not know what your days will hold.  I pray that God will shelter you from harm and fill your story with hope and mercy and favor.  I pray that the blood of Jesus will cover your broken, sinful heart and that you will never know a day when you don't love the sweet grace of His gospel.  And for the hard days, the heartbreaks, the messes, the mistakes, I pray that I can kiss away some of the ouches and that God will overshadow all the rest with His everlasting arms of comfort and help.  We love you already.

Every good thing given, and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. - James 1:17

Our Story: A Long Wait

For the first installment of this long story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.


Our Story: A Long Wait
Dreams, Disappointment, Deepening, Drama

“What God gives us is not necessarily 'ours' but only ours to offer back to him, ours to relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of, if we want to be our true selves. Many deaths must go into reaching our maturity in Christ, many letting goes.”

― Elisabeth Elliot, Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ's Control

A lot of water under the bridge since that day at age 5 (for me, age 8 for Ben) when grace broke in.

I went through high school without a date.  Without being asked out, actually.  Had a good group of friends and a few crushes.  

I remember lying in my grandparents' bed before going to college my freshman year, worrying that I would not find a husband there.  Northwestern College had a 4 to 1 ratio of girls to boys.  I didn't figure my odds were too hot.

I thought I met the man of my dreams during my freshman year.  Subtle hints of interest (at least according to my roommate), a solid leader, and headed for the pastorate.  I was sold.  We parted ways for the summer, saw each other again the next fall, and he ended up marrying a good friend of mine.  (I went to the wedding with my roommate, who may or may not have mentioned to the groom that it was not too late to marry me.)

It would be an overstatement to say I had a broken heart, but I was disappointed.  My sophomore year brought some mild interest from another guy, who was actually from my hometown, but that never developed into anything either.  A man from another school, who I barely knew from a Sunday school class, called on Valentine's Day--probably to ask me out.  But I was so flustered and awkward, that I fumbled the whole kit and caboodle in a horrible way, and I never talked to him again.  In fact, I don't think he ever came back to the class. 

From there on, no news of note.  I was involved in student discipleship and had a really good group of friends on campus.  At the beginning of my junior year, I started attending Bethlehem.  I didn't know many people, but I started coming to Jack and Mary Delk's college class and volunteered as an usher and greeter for worship services.  

I started leading a shepherd group for college girls, and Jack and Mary mentored those of us who were college group leaders.  We came to their home for Bible study and prayer.  One day, Mary happened to mention she needed someone to clean their house.  So I started cleaning for them weekly.  And it was on one of those cleaning afternoons when Mary suggested I apply to Bethlehem for work when I graduated.

So it was that I did not move home to Iowa after graduation in 2004, but found a great new home in the first-floor apartment of Tom Steller's house (with the purple bathroom), rooming with a soon-to-be bosom buddy Sarah and Grandma Nancy, just a few blocks from the Downtown Campus of Bethlehem.

God did a lot of work on me during college.  For me, college meant stepping away from the security of just taking my parents' advice and hanging out with my Christian friends.  Little by little I found myself venturing into deeper faith-testing water.  Going out at 10pm on Friday nights to witness at Franklin and Chicago with Streetlight.  Mission trip to Ensenada, Mexico.  Leading Bible studies on a dorm floor.  9/11 (my 20th birthday).  Striking up a long-term friendship with Verle and Genevieve Horton, from the nearby neighborhood.  Mission trip to New York City.  

By the time I graduated, singleness wasn't quite the threat of doom that it was 4 years earlier.  I was thrilled to be working at Bethlehem--would have been happy to just put a cot in my cubicle and live there.  But I was nevertheless quite without prospects.  

And the years kept ticking by with no new news.

Meanwhile...

Ben doesn't have a lot to say about relationships in his "days of youth."  He never dated anyone.  There was a crush on a friend Sarah, and a penpal Nancy, who came to visit in New Zealand, but no romantic attachments to speak of.

Now that I know him, I can envision there were quite the string of young women who were probably secretly hoping that the friendly smile and cheerful, buoyant, fun-loving camaraderie would have led to something more...  But he was more interested in sports and languages, magic tricks and camping, culinary adventures and seeing new places.

He was in high school when his dad announced to the family that he was leaving.  Divorced.  Re-married.  Divorced again.  A decade later, in violent grace, God smacked him with "a holy 2x4" (to use his words) and breathed life again into a long-rebelling heart.  Ben drove from Connecticut up to New Hampshire to see him and witnessed a man devastated, exhilarated, and insane.  Either God had met Ed in flaming, grace-filled power or he needed the loony-bin. 

In the end, it was the grace-filled power.  Within a few months, Ed moved to Minneapolis to go to the church where John Piper preached.  Ben's brother Nathan, newly-married to Laura, followed within a year.

I joined Bethlelem as a covenant member in February 2004, the same weekend when Ed did.  In the spring of 2005, I transitioned from part-time ministry assistant in Urban Ministries and part-time Adult Ministries to fully Adult Ministries.  Laura Katterson was the new Urban ministry assistant, and I got to train her in. 

And after reading books and listening to sermon tapes by John Piper, mailed from Nathan, at last Ben himself moved to Minneapolis in the summer of 2005, eager to drink deep from the Bethlehem fire hydrant.

And the Summer of Hot Dogs was to be an unexpected turning point in my life.





 

Next Installment: First Sight 

Our Story: Rescued

For the first installment of this long story, see Our Story: Introductions.

Our Story: Rescued
The Only Reason We Ever Got Together


The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am foremost.—1 Timothy 1:15


As will become evident, there are a lot of reasons why Ben and I would never have gotten together if we wrote the story.  Actually, I can only give one basic reason why we did.  God got involved.

Not in a surface-level, religious kind of way that means we share common values and both wanted to raise our children in the church.

No, it was a real shake-up, and not just at the beginning.  He didn't just put a little gold star of Christianity on our chart.  He shredded the chart and gave us something a whole lot scarier, happier, more breath-taking, satisfying, and surprising in its place.

For Ben, it was sometime around 8-years-old.  In his words:

"Mom, why can't I go to youth group?"

Everything that my brothers had told me about youth group was cool.  When they memorized a verse they got to throw a wet sponge at the youth pastor.  What could be cooler than that?

"You're not old enough, Ben."  My mom was always the voice of reason.

The details are a little foggy.  It was dark outside our semi-rustic house.  The 12-acre plot in New Hampshire was the perfect playground for an eight-year-old and his brothers just coming into the high adventure stage of life.  The cozy little house, after a hard day of play, was the God-ordained place for a new heart to begin beating.

Somehow the Holy Spirit guided my mom that night from talking about the inner workings of the youth group to the eternal truths of Jesus Christ and my need for Him.

I remember lying in my bed and praying.  I don't remember much of what I prayed, but this was the first time, in my recollection, that my thoughts superseded my little self and went to the basic reality of the gospel and God.  I did not know it at the time, but God, by his grace, had granted faith and where once was dead, cold stone, now was a beating heart.

I pulled the covers up to my chin and waited.  No thunder, no rumble.  I suppose I was waiting for the reply.  I heard none that night, but there was a reply.  Little did I know that God had replied by baring His Son's back to the scourge instead of mine.  he had replied by dispatching the full weight of His wrath on His perfect Son, on the cross.  The perfect Son was cursed, and because of this the cursed son was made perfect.  Praise His name.

 For me, it was age 5.  You'd think there isn't much to repent of at age 5, but I have a mental snapshot of my mom chasing me around the backyard because I wouldn't obey and come inside when it was time for my friend to go home.  Just as one example.

The short story (as recalled somewhat second-hand) is that my mom was reading me a book, Spunky's Diary (Janette Oke), in which a little girl dies of cancer.  I grew somewhat inconsolable at that point in the story, and my mom asked what was wrong.

I said, it's just so sad, the little girl dying and being gone forever.  My mom corrected me, No, honey, she's not gone forever, because the story tells us that she was trusting in Jesus as her Savior.  So she isn't gone forever; she's with the Lord.

It was a little open door to walk through the basics again for a little 5-year-old heart:

God made everything; He's perfect and true and only, only good.

You are a sinner.  You do wrong things, you want your own way, you disobey God's perfect standard, you love yourself more than God.

Your sin puts you far away from God.  He is a good judge, and that means He must call bad "bad."  The Bible says that sin requires a punishment of death ... being away from God forever. We can never work hard enough or do enough good to pay that off.

But God made a way of rescue!  His Son Jesus, who is God Himself, came to earth as a man, lived a perfect life, and died.  He didn't die because he did wrong things; He actually died to pay the penalty for His enemies who did wrong things.   But He didn't stay dead ... He came alive again to show that God said YES to His sacrifice.

And if anyone will trust that God's way of rescue is true--that Jesus' death was enough--and will look to Him to cover over your sin and give you a new heart, then God will make a great exchange.  He will put your sin on Jesus and say that it is paid in full.  And He will put Jesus' perfect life on you, and call you His own child.

And somehow, in a simple, immature little 5-year-old heart, God gave me that great exchange.


It may seem like an odd story to include, but I do mean it when I say there's no other reason Ben and I got together.  That fairly unspectacular episode in each of our lives set us on a totally different trajectory than we ever would have dreamed. 

And lest I miss the chance, let me ask you to consider if you are trying to work your way back into God's good graces or if you look to Jesus as the one and only Hero for your heart.

Ultimately, that's the only story that will matter.

Next Installment: A Long Wait

Our Story: Introductions

Our Story: Introductions
The Beginning of a Long Story

 I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. -Psalm 77:11

 
Five years ago today, on a very beautiful Saturday, Benjamin asked me to marry him.  May 31, 2008.  It was the ending of the beginning of our story.

The beginning of the beginning was quite some time earlier.

I won't go all the way back to "before the foundations of the world."

For me, the story started on September 11, 1981, exactly a year and 163 days after it started for Ben, on April 1, 1980.  (Maybe the fact that we both have infamous birthdays should have tipped me off...)

I grew up in Cedar Rapids, IA, two doors down from the Swansons to the left and six doors down from the Schmidts to the right.  Our house had lilac bushes, a steep driveway, squeaky stairs (especially the second from the top), and a cool hideaway closet under the basement steps.

I was Anderson girl #3 of 4, a little bitter to always be one of the "younger ones."  I loved my bunny Oreo, our Miniature Schnauzer Ellie, and books of all sorts.  We only moved once in my childhood, to a quiet, semi-rural neighborhood a few miles outside of town.

I trusted in Jesus when I was 5, not long before I was diagnosed with Wilms Tumor, had my left kidney removed, and went through 10 months of chemo.



Never really hit a rebellious stage, just a passive, middle-child, people-pleaser involved in youth group, sports, and drama.

I decided to go to Northwestern College in St. Paul because that was where my oldest sister went, and got an English (Writing) major and a Business minor.

I started attending Bethlehem Baptist Church regularly at the start of my junior year (August 2002), began leading a small group during my senior year, and was hired as a part-time ministry assistant in Adult Ministries a few weeks after I graduated, in June 2004.


Meanwhile ...

Ben was born in Manassas, VA, and never lived anywhere longer than 3 years growing up.

Manassas, VA
Selena, CA
Colorado Springs, CO
Augsburg, Germany
Ridge, NH
Arlington, VA
Herzizliah Petuach, Israel
Columbia, MD
Abijan, Ivory Coast (West Africa)
Arlington, VA
Wellington, New Zealand
Chantilly, VA
Beijing, China
Cable, WI
Beijing, China
Langhorne, PA
Charlestown, NH
Ocala, FL
Woodstock, CT
And at last... Minneapolis, MN

He was boy #3 of 3.









Golden curls, mischievous grin, curious, adventuresome, and dramatic.










He accepted Christ as his Savior in New Hampshire with his mother when he was young and was baptized by his dad in Israel. 


He jumped on couches, explored the Christkindlesmarkt (Christmas market) in Germany, sold shrapnel from scud attacks in Israel, wore a kilt, ate Oreos by the package, played rugby, learned Chinese, and climbed to the base camp of Mt. Everest.

(I am pretty sure he had more hairstyles than I did.)

After high school, he went to the Wisconsin Wilderness Campus of Philadelphia Biblical University for a year and then took another year at their Pennsylvania campus.  Then he spent a few months as a machinist's apprentice, worked at Clemons Moving Company, and served with Air Tox, testing smoke stacks for toxic emissions.

Little did we know, our courses were set to collide...

Next Installment: Rescued