Our Story: Engagement, Wedding, and Grace Ever After

To start at the beginning of the story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.  Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight. Fifth installment, see Our Story: Just a Hint. Sixth installment, see Our Story: What Is Going On?. Seventh installment, see Our Story: Meeting and the Long Summer. Eighth installment, see Our Story: Drama, Courtship, and Travel. Ninth installment, The Break-up, the Un-break-up, and Walking into Love

Our Story: Engagement, Wedding, and Grace Ever After

And so it happened.

June 2, 2008

Hello, friends!

Saturday (5/31) was a very beautiful day. Very, very beautiful.

For those of you who haven’t heard the beginning of the story (and believe me, it’s quite the epic tale of God’s faithfulness…through all kinds of rough stretches), Ben Katterson moved to Minneapolis about 3 years ago to be a part of Bethlehem Baptist, where I work. I met him right away, because I knew his dad and his older brother (actually, his sister-in-law took over the urban ministry position I used to have, so I trained her in!). But we were mere acquaintances until a year and a half ago, when the South Site of Bethlehem opened. I worked at the Information Booth every Sunday, all morning, and Ben helped with set-up and tear-down and the nursery, and (someone observed after several months) he seemed to hang out at the Info Booth pretty frequently.

Fast-forwarding through some remarkable, crazy times, it was last year, August 14, 2007 when Ben asked if he could officially court me. Sometime I’ll have to write the long version of it all (if it were of any use to others, it could be a book…).

Well, this particular part of the story began a week and a half ago. Our friend Elijah invited us to a graduation dinner last Sunday night (before Memorial Day), but when I called to ask Ben if we wanted to go, he said that we “had something on” (translated: he was planning something). A couple days later, however, he told me that Sunday wouldn’t work and could we plan on this week instead. Well, it was a very busy week, but Saturday looked like a possibility.

He picked me up around 9:30am on Saturday, and we started driving west…ultimately finding our way to the Arboretum (a U of M marvel of gardens and groves and hills…miles of them--all for curious wanderers to explore) in Chanhassen. I was a bit skeptical (it was $7 a person to get in, and I’m a cheapskate), but it was breath-takingly lovely and a worthwhile investment! We spent most of the morning and early afternoon driving around a 3-mile loop…stopping to get out and meander around the gardens. Ben had some pastries and cold bottles of pop for a mid-morning snack, and we sat on a bench and read some out of the book we’ve been going through. Blue skies, fluffy clouds, soft summer warmth, lilacs in the air—like only God could have given.

We saw odd botanical sculptures, groves of weeping willows, azalea bushes heavy with blossoms, a (not-yet-blooming) rose garden, pine and fir trees, wide varieties of hedges, wide-opened tulips, and a “hedge maze,” complete with little benches tucked away in the dead ends.

After the maze, Ben looked at his watch and said, “Oh, it’s 2 o’clock!” Hmm. 2’oclock. That’s nice.
He said, “Let’s go back to the car and get the book. It’s your turn to read.” Okay.

So we went back to the car and drove a little further, stopped and climbed out. Um, are you going to bring the book? I asked. “Oh yeah.”

We found a bench facing a gentle sloping valley that met a hill stretching out in front of us, with a big red barn on it (nice to have a landmark so I can find it again sometime!). Ben said, “I forgot something. Wait here a minute.” He ran off to the car, and I savored the view and especially the fact that it was not thunderstorming like was a forecasted possibility.

Ben got back with the black book (we exchange notes in it) and said I could save it until after we read a while. So I started the next chapter of Love that Lasts on conflict…about how conflict starts with a desire that clashes with someone else’s desire…and turns into a demand and grows (sometimes almost instantly) into a god, without which we WILL NOT be satisfied.

We were about half-way through the chapter when Ben said, “That’s a good stopping point. Well, it’s not really a good stopping point, but let’s stop anyway.” Okay.

He told me I could read my note in the black book, so I flipped it open to the latest entry. It was a sweet note, starting with the words to “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” and ending with 1 John 3:1-2, our church memory verse for the week.

I finished reading and looked at him.

He said, “I love you.

“I know we’re both sinners, and there will be lots of times when we fail and stumble and sin. But I really desire to lead you and to be an instrument in your life, like Ephesians 5 talks about, that you would be pure and spotless when you stand before our Groom, Jesus Christ.

Will you marry me?”

And I said…yes! (Actually, I kind of whispered it, because my voice wasn’t really working.)

He said, “May I give you a token of my commitment? I don’t know all the things that are symbolic about a ring…a circle, because it’s a covenant that never ends, a diamond to show how valuable you are to me. [But I couldn’t get a diamond big enough for that, because I don’t have enough money. I don’t think anyone in the world has enough for that.] But it’s also a cultural symbol that shows that you’re mine.” And then he pulled out of his pocket (a little nervously, lest he drop it down the hill) the most beautiful ring I ever saw.

And we sat there and stared at the hill for quite a while. And he prayed for us. And I felt so overwhelmed at the unearned mercy of God to bring such a gift (the ring is nice…but the gentleman…he is the treasure) that I didn’t really have anything to say.

Well, that’s the story (well, at least this particular chapter of it). Lots of details not really nailed down, but we’re thinking maybe a mid-October wedding. Maybe I’ll be used to the feel of a ring on my finger by then.

Thanks for caring and praying. I’d love to share some other stories of how God has done great things in this really unexpected turn in my life. Praying you know His grace today.

In Christ,
Amy (soon-to-be Katterson)

“The LORD God is a sun and shield. The LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11

So began our 4 1/2-month season of engagement. I'm not a swimmer, but I envision engagement like the pre-race jitters where you're getting suited up, shaking your arms and legs, reviewing the race plan, taking the stand, and crouching in adrenaline-filled anticipation of the real race about to begin. It is not a place I would choose to live for long, drawn-out periods of time.

Nevertheless, engagement had some really sweet graces for us.

One, we started regular "pray and plans." We would meet somewhere, list out details that needed to be settled, ask for God's help on them, and plow through the planning. Pray-and-plans are a habit that carried on into married life and has been the source of some of our sweetest connections and breakthroughs all these years.

Two, we had a certain kind of freedom in wedding planning. No need to survey all the dresses, venues, menus, or songs in the world. Just pray for God's help, look for a good option, take it, and move on. A great enemy of peace and contentment is the illusion that everything must be "best and most beautiful" in order to have a joyful, meaningful wedding celebration.

And on October 18, 2008, a beautiful autumn day, we became husband and wife. And we have experienced God's faithfulness and grace ever after.

P.S. Have we been happy ever after? Certainly not.

There have been seasons of great pain, struggle, and grief. Our first few years of marriage were both sweet and hard (a season in which I was freed from the false notion that I am a nice person).

Yet today I am absolutely stunned at the kindness of God to give me a husband and family that are just right for my personal thriving, growth in godliness, and very great enjoyment. Trusting God to know what my heart needed better than I did has been one of the sweetest gifts I've received.