Our Story: Drama, Courtship, and Travel

To start at the beginning of the story, see Our Story: Introductions.  Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued.  Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight. Fifth installment, see Our Story: Just a Hint. Sixth installment, see Our Story: What Is Going On?. Seventh installment, see Our Story: Meeting and the Long Summer.


Drama, Courtship, and Travel
Getting Acquainted One Church Event at a Time




The summer of "friends getting to know one another" had another component. Ben was a part of the church drama group called the Messengers, led by a very gifted Filipino woman named Lotis. The day after our Dunn Bros conversation, Lotis said to me, "I understand you and Ben are moving forward in your relationship. Would you pray about joining our Messengers trip to the Philippines this fall?"


For a variety of reasons, that felt like a wild and crazy notion. Both of my bosses didn't think it would be a real wise idea, especially since I was already committed to a week of Jr High Camp that summer, but they didn't give a flat-out no. In the end, I joined the group and started preparing for the drama performance overseas.


August came in with a bang. Work-life balance was not a strong suit. Ministry Fair, Small Groups Kick-off, Covenant Affirmation, the start of Sunday school... The pace was pretty hectic, working weekends, and generally stretched a little too thin.

Mid-August I was part of an all-day South staff meeting. One of the agenda items was hiring a new part-time set-up tear-down assistant. The logistics coordinator told our campus pastor that he really didn’t want to consider anyone but Ben (who had been volunteering with the SUTD team since the campus started). He seemed like the right guy for the job.

Sitting there, I felt a sudden affection for this guy—he’d been volunteering continually since the South site opened; he was a hard worker and glad servant; and where I had felt some ambiguity and questions and doubt, I suddenly realized, I really liked him, wanted to be with him. It scared me a little, that the feelings for Ben might leave as quickly as they came. Trust the Lord, I had to preach to myself. He knows the state (and instability) of your heart. Lay it out to Him, and He’ll keep it where it needs to be.

Coincidentally (or not), the next day was August 14, and Ben had asked me out for a conversation. He drove us to Cafe Latte, and over a salad sampler and soup, Ben started in.

He said, "I would have to be a fool not to think about marriage when I thought of you."

He talked about many things, about God being at work in my life, his plans to get his elementary education degree, the possibility of a future in some faraway place sharing the gospel. He leveled with me on his sense of calling: missions and children, in some form or other. Could I do that?



He said, "I'd like you to be by my side for a really, really long time. So, when I call your dad, may I tell him that I have your permission to court you?"

I looked out the window past him. Lord, if this isn’t of You, if this isn’t Your will, please make it clear. I thought of the previous day’s revelation, that I really like Ben and wanted to be with him. I thought of God’s sovereignty, that He holds and unfolds all things according to His perfect will, and He will not let go of me.

I looked back at Ben, feeling half-excited, half-scared, and said, "Yes."

So there we were. Officially courting.

The fall barreled on. Monday nights I led a women's small group, Wednesdays were Wednesday Connection, and we had drama rehearsals every Thursday and Friday evening. Saturday night was church, and most of Sunday was serving at the South Campus. Our quality time together came mostly at church functions.

The trip to the Philippines was an intense experience all around. Two weeks with 20 people in close quarters. It was a wonderful privilege ... and very full. Full of performances, grace, exertion, travel, much spiritual warfare, cultural experiences, delicious food, sickness, emotional wrestling, and fatigue. We arrived home again basically blitzed just before Thanksgiving. 

And for the first time since our "formal relationship" began, there was actually time to consider a regular date night. Little did we know the real roller coaster was about to begin.