Parenting Thoughts

A friend asked me today for some thoughts on parenting, what kind of biblical guidelines or principles do we follow. Since I wrote it down, I thought I would share it here. (This is just the tip of the iceberg, what came to mind when I had a few minutes to write...)

One of our biggest parenting "paradigms" is that we are trying to be an early image or reflection to our children of how God is. He is the Father "from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name" (Eph 3:15). And the most important thing that we want to give our children (although it is impossible for us to give it to our children unless God gives it to our children) is a knowledge of, love for, and trust in our beautiful Savior Jesus. 

He is faithful, so we strive to keep our word.

He is kind, so we want to be gracious and gentle.

He is generous, so we love to lavish our kids with good things.

He is awesome and holy and sovereign over all creation, so we must not allow our children to disregard or belittle the authority that God has put over them, namely, us parents.

When God gives commands to His creatures, it is never for insignificant or capricious reasons. It is for our good, for our protection, for our abundant life. In our parenting, we want to reflect the same purposing for good when we give instructions or restrictions. 

And for the same reason--because obeying God is essential for knowing full joy and eternal abundance of life--when our children disobey or disregard our instructions, we find it important to address the failure and, when needed, follow up with discipline. 

God's words are utterly trustworthy. And so it is important that (as much as is humanly possible), our Yes means yes, and our No means no (James 5:12), without games of counting to ten or bluffing with impossible threats of what will happen if a child does not comply.

Parenting is a tremendous responsibility and calling. We do it "as seems best to us" (Heb 12:10), and so frequently we feel (and are) woefully inadequate to perceive and respond rightly to the needs of the young hearts we are striving to shepherd. But what a kind Father we have, who supplies wisdom when we lack it (James 1:5), who set His love on us (1 John 3:1), and who has given the Savior and Mediator that our children need (1 Timothy 2:4-6).