Smiles

Virtually my whole life I have known that God loves me. He is working for good in my life. I can trust Him even when I don't understand.



But having a baby has given me a new perspective on love. I love Victor so much my heart aches with it sometimes. I'm fumbling my way into the rhythm of motherhood (unlike God, who makes no mistakes), but there is nothing I want more than for him to thrive in every way. I love, love, love to see his sweet, chubby face smiling up at me.



Often, when getting strapped into his car seat or going down for a nap, Victor will wail and cry (and we haven't even reached the start of vaccinations yet), and I long with all my heart that he would trust that I am working for his good. I don't put him through pain or discomfort without caring. I hurt when he hurts. I would suffer in his place if I could.

And all that is just a tiny sliver of who God is and what He has done for me.

Supremely, He loves with the best kind of love, even when it hurts. Astonishingly, He already did take my greatest suffering and dealt it on His Son in my place. Unceasingly, He gives me what is good, even when I don't understand.

How I want my Victor to trust the good will that his parents have toward him, to know that we want his best and love him with all our hearts. And infinitely more, I want him to lean on Jesus for all he needs and throw his whole life and heart into the hands that were pierced so that he might be pardoned.