Long Ago

Ben and I were just looking at some old photos of Victor. Old, being 4 1/2 months ago. That feels like such a long time ago already. He was just a tiny little peanut then.






I remember that moment when I first saw him after birth. He was swooped away by the NICU team, so I didn't get to hold him immediately. But they brought him over to me for just a few minutes, swaddled in a little blanket, before taking him downstairs to his room. I did love him. But I didn't know him.

I used to look at him sleeping and think he looked like a baby doll, such precious, perfect little features. And when he woke up, I had lots and lots of moments of bewilderment. What do I do with this little person? He would cry. And I would cry, not knowing how to help him.

We've had him in our arms only half as long as I carried him during pregnancy, but we just love learning about our little son.

He has never declined a meal, no matter how much I have tried to "cluster" them in the evenings.

He thinks it's hilarious to watch his daddy do sit-ups.

When extremely hungry, he scrunches up his nose, gulping down the first mouthfuls of milk.

He holds my fingers when he rides in the Baby Bjorn, brave to face the world, as long as momma is right there.

He loves people, giving out happy, whole-body smiles generously at church.

When he wakes up from a nap or night of sleep, he cries until we come in and turn on the light, and then he catches our eye and gives a huge, slow smile and pulls his legs straight up in the air and rolls onto his side.

He's never real thrilled about getting in the carseat.

When Victor is crabby, his favorite activities are going outside, standing up on someone's lap, and snuggling on momma's shoulder, while we smile into the mirror.

Although normally mild and content, when tired or hungry, he can absolutely bellow. This normally hits us by the end of a long Sunday at church, which is when we know it's time to make our exit. :)


What a precious gift it is, to see this little person grow. We've had 4 1/2 months with Victor and love him more as the days go by, love that aches to see him thrive, to see him grow into a man of God, to see him trust Jesus and walk in the light all his days.

O Jesus, keep our sweet little Victor in Your arms and guard him from evil and from harm. Thank You for the exhausting, perplexing, and endearing adventure of parenthood. Let us honor You in it.