To start at the beginning of the story, see Our Story: Introductions. Second installment, see Our Story: Rescued. Third installment, see Our Story: A Long Wait. Fourth installment, see Our Story: First Sight. Fifth installment, see Our Story: Just a Hint. Sixth installment, see Our Story: What Is Going On?. Seventh installment, see Our Story: Meeting and the Long Summer.
Drama, Courtship, and Travel
Getting Acquainted One Church Event at a Time
The summer of "friends getting to know one another" had another component. Ben was a part of the church drama group called the Messengers, led by a very gifted Filipino woman named Lotis. The day after our Dunn Bros conversation, Lotis said to me, "I understand you and Ben are moving forward in your relationship. Would you pray about joining our Messengers trip to the Philippines this fall?"
For a variety of reasons, that felt like a wild and crazy notion. Both of my bosses didn't think it would be a real wise idea, especially since I was already committed to a week of Jr High Camp that summer, but they didn't give a flat-out no. In the end, I joined the group and started preparing for the drama performance overseas.
August came in with a bang. Work-life balance was not a strong suit. Ministry Fair, Small Groups Kick-off, Covenant Affirmation, the start of Sunday school... The pace was pretty hectic, working weekends, and generally stretched a little too thin.
Mid-August I was part of an all-day South staff meeting. One of the agenda items was hiring a new part-time set-up tear-down assistant. The logistics coordinator told our campus pastor that he really didn’t want to consider anyone but Ben (who had been volunteering with the SUTD team since the campus started). He seemed like the right guy for the job.
Sitting there, I felt a sudden affection for this guy—he’d been volunteering continually since the South site opened; he was a hard worker and glad servant; and where I had felt some ambiguity and questions and doubt, I suddenly realized, I really liked him, wanted to be with him. It scared me a little, that the feelings for Ben might leave as quickly as they came. Trust the Lord, I had to preach to myself. He knows the state (and instability) of your heart. Lay it out to Him, and He’ll keep it where it needs to be.
Coincidentally (or not), the next day was August 14, and Ben had asked me out for a conversation. He drove us to Cafe Latte, and over a salad sampler and soup, Ben started in.
He said, "I would have to be a fool not to think about marriage when I thought of you."
He talked about many things, about God being at work in my life, his plans to get his elementary education degree, the possibility of a future in some faraway place sharing the gospel. He leveled with me on his sense of calling: missions and children, in some form or other. Could I do that?
He said, "I'd like you to be by my side for a really, really long time. So, when I call your dad, may I tell him that I have your permission to court you?"
I looked out the window past him. Lord, if this isn’t of You, if this isn’t Your will, please make it clear. I thought of the previous day’s revelation, that I really like Ben and wanted to be with him. I thought of God’s sovereignty, that He holds and unfolds all things according to His perfect will, and He will not let go of me.
I looked back at Ben, feeling half-excited, half-scared, and said, "Yes."
So there we were. Officially courting.
The fall barreled on. Monday
nights I led a women's small group, Wednesdays were Wednesday
Connection, and we had drama rehearsals every Thursday and Friday evening.
Saturday night was church, and most of Sunday was serving at the South
Campus. Our quality time together came mostly at church functions.
The trip to the Philippines was an intense experience all around. Two weeks with 20 people in close quarters. It was a wonderful privilege ... and very full. Full of performances, grace, exertion, travel, much spiritual warfare, cultural experiences, delicious food, sickness, emotional wrestling, and fatigue. We arrived home again basically blitzed just before Thanksgiving.
And for the first time since our "formal relationship" began, there was actually time to consider a regular date night. Little did we know the real roller coaster was about to begin.
Friday, October 26, 2018
Thursday, October 25, 2018
Letters to My Big Boys
Dear Victor,
Where do I even start? You are growing up in so many ways. I love the window in your smile (lost tooth #2)! I love seeing that smile!
Things that make you smile:
A sense of compassion is developing, and sometimes when I am extremely tired or have a headache, you'll tell me, "I'm sorry things are so hard for you, Mom" or "Can I do something to help out?" You have a good work ethic and are faithful to finish tasks that you have been given. You can do a lot of work around our home, and I really appreciate your help!
You are a "touch" guy, and I love it that you still like to sit next to me on the couch, with my arms around your shoulder. How I pray that God will continue to give you strong faith in Jesus and the ability by His Spirit to say no to sin and yes to Jesus moment by moment and day by day!
I love you, Victor!
Momma
Dear Josiah,
My 4-year-old! You have grown so much this year, especially now that you're one of the "big boys." I love your beautiful smile!
You just love Calvin! Several times a day you'll ask to "say hello to that little cutie pie"! You encourage him so much during his tummy time, and you are very patient with him if he is sad. I love to see your big brother heart! You are also gentle and kind to other small children and a good encourager of others, generous with praise of others.
You are a strong runner, coordinated with bats, balls, and bikes, and you love animals. You have a vivid imagination and often "create" animal characters and make up a story about them while you are falling asleep at night, and then you tell me about it in the morning. I love that!
You also love being with our good friends, but I sense more of an introverted spirit in you. Sometimes you are ready for some peaceful time on your own after a busy time with lots of people. You play easily with others or on your own and usually join in enthusiastically if someone wants to coordinate an adventure.
You are not big on touch (prefer not to have my arm around you), but you will still snuggle in next to me on the couch to read books or chat a little. I love that! You are extremely tender-hearted and sensitive. Quality time and words of encouragement are big for you, I think. You can be a little quieter than your brothers, so I'm so glad when we have a little special time together.
One of those special times is each night at bedtime. You'll come to me (either before or after being tucked in) and ask to pray with me. I love to pray with you! May God deepen that habit into a lifelong communion with Jesus!
You are super way more coordinated that Mom, and you can dance a mean jig. I love that! You also have a big helper heart, and when I ask for your help on some project, you'll often respond with a smile and, "Oh sure!"
We have a little special school time together before afternoon snoozes, and you are learning lots! You are working hard and really putting together the pieces. Last week you started reading and understanding some 3 word stories. I'm very proud of you, and I love to see you exercising that strong mind that God gave you!
You are an amazing gift to our family, and I love you so much!
Momma
Dear Elliot,
Oh. My. Goodness. You are a boatload of personality packed into one little bundle! This year has been so full of growing for you, and it is a delight to see the way you squeeze lots of joy and adventure out of each day!
You are a chatty fellow. And when you speak, you enunciate every little word. So it comes out: There's. That. Park! You definitely want to be heard, understood, and acknowledged, and if I don't understand what you're saying, it is NOT because you don't know what you're talking about!
You sometimes call me from your bed, ready to get up... "Moommy-a!" like an Italian. :)
When I put you to bed for the night, we will sing the blessing song together,
"May the Lord bless you and keep you,
may the Lord make His to face shine on you and be gracious to you,
may the Lord lift His countenance on you and give you peace."
I love how you join in with me, and insert a "me" every now and then instead of "you"! (...and be gracious to me...)
You have the cutest affirmation of things we point out.
Me: Hey, there's an excavator!
You: Oh yeah!
You are very curious about anything you see that doesn't make sense to you.
You: Wha's that is?
You have gained an early awareness of the game Rock-Paper-Scissors, which your brothers call Rock-Paper-Scissors-Shoe (i.e. Shoot). You'll go around happily chanting to yourself, "Scissors ... rocket ... shoes!"
I love to give you a huge hug and tell you I'm going to "squeeze the jelly out of you!" You give great hugs.
You are so big! Pretty much leading the growth curve of the family, you're in 3T clothes (just one size behind Mr. Joe)! We try to rehearse that we are gentle and kind with little Mr. Calvin, but sometimes you do have a vigorous way of loving him. Regardless, you have taken up the mantle of big brother very well and will come tell me if Calvin is crying. You, too, often ask to "Say hi that little guy."
You have some pretty groovy dance moves, love balls, have super nice follow-through on a basketball shot, and can play happily on your own or with your big brothers. Lately we've had a hard time going to our nursery class, but you're always super happy by the time I come pick you up!
You are a big bundle of joy, and I love you so much!
Momma
Where do I even start? You are growing up in so many ways. I love the window in your smile (lost tooth #2)! I love seeing that smile!
Things that make you smile:
- Knock-knock jokes (you are very into jokes these days and checked out 3 joke books from the library to refresh your repertoire).
- Watching Wild Kratts. This is definitely the neb treatment show of choice for you and Josiah right now. What's more, you are excited to go out "creature adventuring" yourself! We had a fun walk in the woods with the whole fam (minus Calvin, snoozing at Grammy's) this morning. You were a little disappointed that we didn't see deer, bears, and other exciting creatures, perhaps due to the rowdiness of your fellow hikers. But we hope to have another outing (quietly) where you and Daddy can look for animals a little more strategically.
- Reading Tintin. Even though you have read them all, you can still pore over the books for seemingly endless hours.
- Listening to the Boxcar Children books on CD. This is your current afternoon pastime after finishing your workbooks, while Momma works a bit. You always prefer having company while you listen, but even when you're on your own, you love the Boxcar Children.
- Seeing your buddies, especially if there is time to play freeze tag with them! You love small group, where lots of your good friends gather. Most anything is more fun with friends, and I think you have inherited some of Daddy's joy in being with others! This fall you got to go to a Twins game with friends, and it was a HUGE thrill, despite lots of rain and a very late night!
- Seeing me in the back of the room at homeschool co-op class. You are doing great at our new co-op (classes: geology, PE, and etiquette). Every now and again I will assist in one of your classes, and when you catch a glimpse of me in the back of the room, you have a terrific grin. I love this!
- Daddy's telling you stories (especially when there is a happy ending). You have a thrill in a satisfying end to an exciting story!
A sense of compassion is developing, and sometimes when I am extremely tired or have a headache, you'll tell me, "I'm sorry things are so hard for you, Mom" or "Can I do something to help out?" You have a good work ethic and are faithful to finish tasks that you have been given. You can do a lot of work around our home, and I really appreciate your help!
You are a "touch" guy, and I love it that you still like to sit next to me on the couch, with my arms around your shoulder. How I pray that God will continue to give you strong faith in Jesus and the ability by His Spirit to say no to sin and yes to Jesus moment by moment and day by day!
I love you, Victor!
Momma
Dear Josiah,
My 4-year-old! You have grown so much this year, especially now that you're one of the "big boys." I love your beautiful smile!
You just love Calvin! Several times a day you'll ask to "say hello to that little cutie pie"! You encourage him so much during his tummy time, and you are very patient with him if he is sad. I love to see your big brother heart! You are also gentle and kind to other small children and a good encourager of others, generous with praise of others.
You are a strong runner, coordinated with bats, balls, and bikes, and you love animals. You have a vivid imagination and often "create" animal characters and make up a story about them while you are falling asleep at night, and then you tell me about it in the morning. I love that!
You also love being with our good friends, but I sense more of an introverted spirit in you. Sometimes you are ready for some peaceful time on your own after a busy time with lots of people. You play easily with others or on your own and usually join in enthusiastically if someone wants to coordinate an adventure.
You are not big on touch (prefer not to have my arm around you), but you will still snuggle in next to me on the couch to read books or chat a little. I love that! You are extremely tender-hearted and sensitive. Quality time and words of encouragement are big for you, I think. You can be a little quieter than your brothers, so I'm so glad when we have a little special time together.
One of those special times is each night at bedtime. You'll come to me (either before or after being tucked in) and ask to pray with me. I love to pray with you! May God deepen that habit into a lifelong communion with Jesus!
You are super way more coordinated that Mom, and you can dance a mean jig. I love that! You also have a big helper heart, and when I ask for your help on some project, you'll often respond with a smile and, "Oh sure!"
We have a little special school time together before afternoon snoozes, and you are learning lots! You are working hard and really putting together the pieces. Last week you started reading and understanding some 3 word stories. I'm very proud of you, and I love to see you exercising that strong mind that God gave you!
You are an amazing gift to our family, and I love you so much!
Momma
Dear Elliot,
Oh. My. Goodness. You are a boatload of personality packed into one little bundle! This year has been so full of growing for you, and it is a delight to see the way you squeeze lots of joy and adventure out of each day!
You are a chatty fellow. And when you speak, you enunciate every little word. So it comes out: There's. That. Park! You definitely want to be heard, understood, and acknowledged, and if I don't understand what you're saying, it is NOT because you don't know what you're talking about!
You sometimes call me from your bed, ready to get up... "Moommy-a!" like an Italian. :)
When I put you to bed for the night, we will sing the blessing song together,
"May the Lord bless you and keep you,
may the Lord make His to face shine on you and be gracious to you,
may the Lord lift His countenance on you and give you peace."
I love how you join in with me, and insert a "me" every now and then instead of "you"! (...and be gracious to me...)
You have the cutest affirmation of things we point out.
Me: Hey, there's an excavator!
You: Oh yeah!
You are very curious about anything you see that doesn't make sense to you.
You: Wha's that is?
You have gained an early awareness of the game Rock-Paper-Scissors, which your brothers call Rock-Paper-Scissors-Shoe (i.e. Shoot). You'll go around happily chanting to yourself, "Scissors ... rocket ... shoes!"
I love to give you a huge hug and tell you I'm going to "squeeze the jelly out of you!" You give great hugs.
You are so big! Pretty much leading the growth curve of the family, you're in 3T clothes (just one size behind Mr. Joe)! We try to rehearse that we are gentle and kind with little Mr. Calvin, but sometimes you do have a vigorous way of loving him. Regardless, you have taken up the mantle of big brother very well and will come tell me if Calvin is crying. You, too, often ask to "Say hi that little guy."
You have some pretty groovy dance moves, love balls, have super nice follow-through on a basketball shot, and can play happily on your own or with your big brothers. Lately we've had a hard time going to our nursery class, but you're always super happy by the time I come pick you up!
You are a big bundle of joy, and I love you so much!
Momma
Recalling Anniversary Celebrations
1st Anniversary (2009)- returned to our honeymoon cabin in Spooner, WI; drove down to Iowa to meet newly born and adopted niece Janessa
2nd Anniversary (2010)- Lausanne Conference, Cape Town, South Africa
3rd Anniversary (2011)- Linders' cabin in Baxter, MN, dinner at Grizzly's and walk around the golf course, pregnant with Victor
4th Anniversary (2012)- cancelled plans for an overnight at a bed and breakfast because Victor was sick
5th Anniversary (2013)- Lothlaurion, early snow, saw deer, pregnant with Josiah
6th Anniversary (2014)- Weekend "away at home," long walk in Hudson, WI; Delks' anniversary celebration
7th Anniversary (2015)- BCS seminary cohort retreat, pregnant with Elliot
8th Anniversary (2016)- weekend trip to Iowa
9th Anniversary (2017)- weekend at Pine Forest Retreat Center, apple orchard with Big Ben apples, pregnant with Calvin but didn't know it yet
10th Anniversary (2018)- mid-week trip to Iowa, beautiful walks, Kava Cafe, visit with Grandma Vaupel
2nd Anniversary (2010)- Lausanne Conference, Cape Town, South Africa
3rd Anniversary (2011)- Linders' cabin in Baxter, MN, dinner at Grizzly's and walk around the golf course, pregnant with Victor
4th Anniversary (2012)- cancelled plans for an overnight at a bed and breakfast because Victor was sick
5th Anniversary (2013)- Lothlaurion, early snow, saw deer, pregnant with Josiah
6th Anniversary (2014)- Weekend "away at home," long walk in Hudson, WI; Delks' anniversary celebration
7th Anniversary (2015)- BCS seminary cohort retreat, pregnant with Elliot
8th Anniversary (2016)- weekend trip to Iowa
9th Anniversary (2017)- weekend at Pine Forest Retreat Center, apple orchard with Big Ben apples, pregnant with Calvin but didn't know it yet
10th Anniversary (2018)- mid-week trip to Iowa, beautiful walks, Kava Cafe, visit with Grandma Vaupel
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
The Other Addition This Summer
Calvin, of course, was the most exciting addition to our family this summer. But there was another big project that kept us busy in anticipation of his arrival: turning our attached garage into a family room.
Although I didn't do a great job chronicling the progress of the house project, here are a few mid-way photos. I have never been a part of any major house remodeling project, so this was an educational process to say the least. Nor did I realize at the start that this would be a "family participation" sport. Nor had I any previous experience mudding, taping, or sanding drywall (not to speak of the floor installation and trimwork that Ben learned/did along the way).
In the end, the extra space has been such a gift from God! And I have nearly recovered from the nervous twitch associated with the term "house project." The Lord is kind.
When the mudding, taping, and sanding was done, we had a painting-blitz. The whole family room and half-bath got double coats of paint (including the ceiling) over a weekend, mostly knocked out by the superhero-like efforts of Grandad, Mr. Steve and Miss Lulu, and Ben. It made me so happy to look at those beautiful painted walls...
Although I didn't do a great job chronicling the progress of the house project, here are a few mid-way photos. I have never been a part of any major house remodeling project, so this was an educational process to say the least. Nor did I realize at the start that this would be a "family participation" sport. Nor had I any previous experience mudding, taping, or sanding drywall (not to speak of the floor installation and trimwork that Ben learned/did along the way).
In the end, the extra space has been such a gift from God! And I have nearly recovered from the nervous twitch associated with the term "house project." The Lord is kind.
The new exterior wall, which used to be a garage door
Not only did I have no previous experience with mudding and taping (what's that, anyway?),
I also had no idea that this priceless experience required multiple coats.
At every joint. And every screw hole.
Yes, perhaps there were some tears. #36weekspregnant
Ben, mudding and taping. Me, in the supervisory position.
(Also shown, Calvin) #firstsummerbaby
I did get a decent dose of mudding, taping, and sanding in as well.
#withmaskandgoggles #supercute #contractions
When the mudding, taping, and sanding was done, we had a painting-blitz. The whole family room and half-bath got double coats of paint (including the ceiling) over a weekend, mostly knocked out by the superhero-like efforts of Grandad, Mr. Steve and Miss Lulu, and Ben. It made me so happy to look at those beautiful painted walls...
Next up was floor installation. We got some luxury vinyl plank flooring off craigslist, and Ben gained a new skill set in installing it. It was a bit of a mathematical puzzle, but the quantity turned out perfect, and it is so pretty!
Ben and Mr. Steve also installed window and door trim and baseboard trim. It really is a bright, comfortable, usable space, and I'm so thankful for it!
Wednesday, October 17, 2018
4 Months Old!
4 months old!
3 months old
2 months old
1 month old
3 months old
2 months old
1 month old
2 weeks old
Dear Calvin,
I don't know how we got to 4 months, since it has only been about 3 days since you were 3 months old. But, this is the way of this season! Long days, at times, but very short months...
The past month has been eventful.
- You have been initiated to the wonderful world of head colds (having run through 2 rounds so far).
- I can't say how much you weigh, but you were over 16 lbs when we took you to the doc to see if you had an ear infection (you didn't, hurray!). And that was 3 weeks ago.
- You got a new job. Now you have physical therapy every other week for your neck to resolve some torticollis. Work includes tummy time, stretches, rolling over (assisted), and lots of time in the exersaucer.
- You love the exersaucer! This is a bonus for neck strengthening and also allows for a little more time for Momma to get a few things done when you are awake.
- Oh my wonder-sleeper... what has happened? Obviously, colds have happened. And alas, we have not recovered the amazing 10-hour stretches of beauty sleep. We are muddling through with unpredictable, haphazard awakenings. Sometimes midnight, sometimes 3am. Sometimes 2am, 4am, and 6am (this morning). Momma is a little foggy, but I love you anyway.
- You have certainly grown generous with your smiles and you can tolerate the stretch of awake time between your morning and afternoon naps pretty well.
This month I have been studying John 4, preparing to teach in the women's Bible study. It is a chapter so full of the mercy of Jesus! Jesus stops for a conversation with someone by a well--a woman who wasn't a good woman. What did Jesus have to say to her? Not a lot of rules for her to follow. Not a plan for fixing her life. Not a snub for being too dirty for the righteous Messiah to be around.
No, He saw the trouble of her life and knew her biggest problem: she had a thirsty heart, one that would only be satisfied by what He could offer, real living water. And when this woman talked with Him, when she realized that He knew her life and nevertheless wanted to bring her to true worship of God, it changed her whole life! She had news so good that she left her bucket right there at the well to go and tell her neighbors about this Man and His good news.
Oh, little son, how we pray that you will come to Jesus like that! We pray that you will know what makes for a happy heart. Not a bunch of money in the bank or lots of friends to play with. Not the approval of people or success in your work. No, a happy heart is one that has been made new by Jesus. A happy heart is one that takes His great exchange, trusting that when He died on the cross He paid for our sin and gave us His record of goodness.
"Whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:14).
May your heart overflow with this happy, happy gift,
Momma
Saturday, October 6, 2018
Sleep Deprivation, Strongholds, and Radical Spiritual Victory
I am all too aware of what horrible outbursts of flesh and sin are typical of the morning-after-a-terrible-night-of-sleep.
I don't need to reach far into the recesses of memory to see the snappish temper, the inward, sulky heart, impatience with others' childish demands, and a general sense of wounded entitlement, all nurtured within a bleary sense that I would be so much better if only so-and-so had not awakened me every 2 hours or such-and-such had not needed to feed so often.
Groaning, I squint at the digital clock face that demands I arise from bed, whatever kind of train wreck I may feel. I am like a ticking timebomb of discontentment, probably moments away from bursting in someone's face.
But of course, this general sense that the world is gloomy and there is no redemption for the crumminess of life on such a tired morning is just one of the enemy's ploys.
Doubtless, he intends to triumph over us without even a struggle, if he can just start us off in despair and lead us gently into a day full of frustration, self-pity, and irritability.
What other darts does he employ? Of course, our cross temper typically multiplies into poor attitudes for all the little people around us. This can easily mushroom into angry outbursts (defended as "discipline") and all its ugly fallout.
Generally, he also sows thick seeds of bitterness toward one's spouse, who (regardless of how good or bad his own night of sleep may have been) cannot appreciate the full pain that one is laboring under at the start of this day.
Knowing (as we do) that God is sovereign in all the smallest details of life, we generally hold a grudge against Him for this tortuous entry into a day and the crud that continues to unfold in it, as the cherry on top of our enemy's tactics.
"We are not ignorant of his schemes" (2 Corinthians 2:11). So what does it look and feel like to face up to the enemy and walk in faith and grace in a morning such as this?
It probably doesn't feel very radical and victorious. It feels more like dying a hundred deaths before breakfast. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh" (2 Corinthians 10:3). Most of this war starts in the brain.
God is for me. He has tailor-made graces for the needs of this morning.
These little need-vessels (my children) are a gift.
The sin troubles of their own little hearts mirror my own, and the sacrifice of Jesus has made a way for us to find pardon and help.
There are reasons to laugh even when I'm blitzed.
No agenda for this day is more important than listening for God's quiet voice and receiving and reflecting His love.
Even if I don't check much off my to-do list today, it will be a day that honors God if I walk in Spirit-given kindness toward those around me.
I don't need an extra 15 minutes of sleep as much as I need a few minutes for God's truth to wash over my mind.
My husband is on my team (even if he looks perky and refreshed). He might even pray for me if I ask him.
There is not more joy in sleep than joy in Jesus. And by Jesus' grace, I will indeed (most likely) sleep again one day.
To us, these quiet shifts of heart are pretty insignificant and unimpressive. But I would not be surprised if such is the stuff of "divine [power] for the destruction of fortresses" (2 Corinthians 10:4). Radical Christianity is seen when faith in Jesus triumphs in a sleep deprived morning.
I don't need to reach far into the recesses of memory to see the snappish temper, the inward, sulky heart, impatience with others' childish demands, and a general sense of wounded entitlement, all nurtured within a bleary sense that I would be so much better if only so-and-so had not awakened me every 2 hours or such-and-such had not needed to feed so often.
Groaning, I squint at the digital clock face that demands I arise from bed, whatever kind of train wreck I may feel. I am like a ticking timebomb of discontentment, probably moments away from bursting in someone's face.
But of course, this general sense that the world is gloomy and there is no redemption for the crumminess of life on such a tired morning is just one of the enemy's ploys.
Doubtless, he intends to triumph over us without even a struggle, if he can just start us off in despair and lead us gently into a day full of frustration, self-pity, and irritability.
What other darts does he employ? Of course, our cross temper typically multiplies into poor attitudes for all the little people around us. This can easily mushroom into angry outbursts (defended as "discipline") and all its ugly fallout.
Generally, he also sows thick seeds of bitterness toward one's spouse, who (regardless of how good or bad his own night of sleep may have been) cannot appreciate the full pain that one is laboring under at the start of this day.
Knowing (as we do) that God is sovereign in all the smallest details of life, we generally hold a grudge against Him for this tortuous entry into a day and the crud that continues to unfold in it, as the cherry on top of our enemy's tactics.
"We are not ignorant of his schemes" (2 Corinthians 2:11). So what does it look and feel like to face up to the enemy and walk in faith and grace in a morning such as this?
It probably doesn't feel very radical and victorious. It feels more like dying a hundred deaths before breakfast. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh" (2 Corinthians 10:3). Most of this war starts in the brain.
God is for me. He has tailor-made graces for the needs of this morning.
These little need-vessels (my children) are a gift.
The sin troubles of their own little hearts mirror my own, and the sacrifice of Jesus has made a way for us to find pardon and help.
There are reasons to laugh even when I'm blitzed.
No agenda for this day is more important than listening for God's quiet voice and receiving and reflecting His love.
Even if I don't check much off my to-do list today, it will be a day that honors God if I walk in Spirit-given kindness toward those around me.
I don't need an extra 15 minutes of sleep as much as I need a few minutes for God's truth to wash over my mind.
My husband is on my team (even if he looks perky and refreshed). He might even pray for me if I ask him.
There is not more joy in sleep than joy in Jesus. And by Jesus' grace, I will indeed (most likely) sleep again one day.
To us, these quiet shifts of heart are pretty insignificant and unimpressive. But I would not be surprised if such is the stuff of "divine [power] for the destruction of fortresses" (2 Corinthians 10:4). Radical Christianity is seen when faith in Jesus triumphs in a sleep deprived morning.
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