Marriage Retreat Reflections Part 3

The third session of the Marriage Retreat was on Romance in Marriage. A fitting reflection for Valentine's Day!

One of the most practical exhortations was to be a "student for life" of your spouse... make note of the things he likes to read, eat, listen to, talk about. What fascinates him? Be alert for opportunities to surprise, delight, and encourage.

Another help from the session was their list of "little foxes" (cf. Song of Solomon 2:15) that can ruin romance in a marriage.

They cited these "little foxes":

* Ignorance
* Ingratitude
* Spiritual neglect
* Selfishness
* Busyness
* Bitterness
* Fear of man

And here is the session from Covenant Life.

Marriage Retreat Reflections Part 2

The second session of the Marriage Retreat was on Conflict Resolution.

I feel a fond spot in my heart for the chapter on "Conflict" in Love That Lasts, because that's what Ben and I were reading on May 31, 2008, when he proposed to me!

At any rate, there were lots of "zinger" points that hit home from this one. But I'll just pick three.

1) Irritation is not servanthood.
2) Moments of conflict are like a pop quiz from God to test our heart.
3) Humility (i.e. thinking, I am the chief of sinners... what's wrong in my heart right now?) leads to grace.

Here is the whole session, from Covenant Life Church.

Marriage Retreat Reflections Part 1

Last weekend, Ben took me to the Bethlehem Marriage Retreat. Such a gift.

The speakers this year were Gary and Betsy Ricucci, who wrote our favorite (I think) book on relationships, outside of the Bible, Love That Lasts.

One encouraging takeaway from the first session: The struggle toward righteousness glorifies God. Not perfection, but process toward holiness.

I found this audio on the Covenant Life website, and I'm guessing it is the same basic presentation as their session on communication. Worth listening to!

Ben's Thoughts on Romans 12:1

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

Ben wrote to me:

“By the mercies of God” sounds like “if you listened to the last 11 chapters.” This is what I think he is saying. “So, because of the great salvation that I have just laid out for you in amazing definition and detail, worship the Lord by giving him yourselves in all purity.”

A good assessment, I thought.

O...

I remember sitting in the auditorium at Northwestern College in 2004 (when that was our North Site), hearing and being very moved by this sermon.

Since this is the verse we're working on for our Fighter Verse memorization this week, I thought I'd listen to it again... Still good!

It was the first time I could remember meditating on the word "O."

At That Moment

I believe in Jesus.

This week I was reading Acts 10. And I was struck by how God wove the various strands of His story, right down to the second, so that I would have the opportunity to hear the gospel.

First, there was a Gentile soldier who feared God.

At about 3pm one day, an angel visited him and told him to send some people to Joppa to find a man named Peter.

The people walked longer than a marathon, about 30 miles, a two-day journey (see Acts 10:30).

Meanwhile, the apostle Peter got hungry.

He decided to take a nap on the roof of the house while food was prepared.

The Lord sent a vision of a sheet full of all the animals that Jews were never supposed to touch ... 3 times.

The Lord explained the vision, saying, "What God has cleansed, no longer consider unholy."

At that very moment, there came a knock at the door. "Is there a fellow here by the name of Peter?"

And up on the roof, the Spirit tells Peter to go down and introduce himself to the three guys who trekked all the way from Caesarea to find him.

They spend the night to catch their breath, and then Peter and a few others head back along the way they came.

Meanwhile, back home the soldier, proving that he was really confident that his messengers would be successful in their invitation, (would he have been so sure if he knew that God had to send a vision to convince Peter to that end?) filled his home with family and close friends. They waited with bated breath for Peter to arrive.

When they come, what a convergence of grace is seen! The gospel was preached, the listeners believed, and the Holy Spirit filled them.

And because of that remarkable orchestration of God, the church was convinced that God had swung open the door of salvation to us outsiders, the Gentiles.

Such a story gives me faith that the awkward, hard, inconvenient timing of my life is no random chance, and that God will provide at the very moment it's needed.

Petty Sacrifices

Ben urged me to take a Sunday morning off this month, and so I am home on the couch with a cup of tea (Rooibos, from Cape Town) and reading a book by Elisabeth Elliot.

As a general rule, I find myself strengthened and helped by anything I read which she has written.

This quote struck me:

Manners, said Emerson, are made up of peggy sacrifices. "Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage" (1 Cor. 13:5, Phillips).

A simple gesture like passing the butter plate to someone else before helping oneself is the outward expression, small and unobtrusive but deeply telling, of the sacrificial principle, "My life for yours." (The Shaping of a Christian Family, p. 171)

I do want my life flavored by that kind of small "others before myself" moments. Lord help me.