Sermon by Ben

A good word from someone dear.

Emotions and Building Your Own House

Be true to yourself! Follow your heart. As you feel, so you are. To stifle, deny, or repress your emotions is not only unhealthy, it's actually dangerous.

These messages are the gospel of our culture, the good news that you not only may but must embrace how you feel and indulge it to the full.

So let's follow the line of thought to its conclusion.

Examples taken from my personal experience:

Scene 1: I feel frustrated because I can't get anything done. I snap at my kids, growl at my husband, slam around backpacks and water bottles trying to get out the door, and glare bitterly at the piles of work that taunt me with my futile efforts to make headway. In anything.

Outcome: full family misery

Scene 2: I feel needy, emotionally fragile. I wait for my husband to sense the specific tenderness and attentiveness that my soul craves. He fails, being a mere mortal. I grow silent, sullen, withdrawn. He is very confused about what the trouble could be.

Outcome: sad, disconnected evening

Scene 3: I feel industrious, ready to tackle anything. I charge into a project, getting knee-deep in work (the kind of thing that looks like a total tornado before getting better). My children come to me with tiny, insignificant matters: they need a snack, there is a squabble over a toy, they can't find their special bear. I brush them aside when possible, deal with the issues begrudgingly, ignore all that I can.

Outcome: bigger mess, tangled hearts that have not been shepherded, frustration (and loop back to Scene 1 above)

Our emotions powerfully speak to us, and they are no small part of what shapes our desires, attitudes, priorities, and responses. But they are tyrants if given mastery, and the fulfillment promised by boundlessly indulging what we feel is actually an empty one. "By what a man is overcome, to this he is enslaved" (2 Peter 2:19b).

What is the better word that the gospel of Christ brings? Nothing less than an entirely new heart.

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me" (Galatians 2:20).

Because we are deeply loved by Christ, because our ugly hearts have been put to death with Him and we have received new hearts with the very life of Christ, a new path is open to us.

The same strong native emotions course through us, but with the Spirit of Christ within we  see that those are not our deepest identity. And so the words of Proverbs 14:1 come to life: "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."

What does this look like on the ground?

Examples also taken from real life:

Scene 1: I feel frustrated because I can't get anything done. A heart check indicates that I'm craving significance through accomplishment. Truth reminds me: Christ has done it all. God is pleased with my humbly opening my hand for today's labors to receive what He is pleased to give. He knows when I need to get where I'm going. He may use the weakness of my hands and home to point to His sufficiency, even by contentment in what I can't get done. I'm still late and messy, but I'm able to walk in peace with my family and see the joy of these crazy days.

Scene 2: I feel needy, emotionally fragile. I wait for my husband to sense the specific tenderness and attentiveness that my soul craves. He fails, being a mere mortal. I quietly plead for an ability to trust God to minister what my heart needs and tell Ben that it might be a nice night to just cozy up on the couch and watch a show together because I'm tired and feeling needy. He prays for me.

Scene 3: I feel industrious, ready to tackle anything. I charge into a project, getting knee-deep in work (the kind of thing that looks like a total tornado before getting better). My children come to me with tiny, insignificant matters: they need a snack, there is a squabble over a toy, they can't find their special bear. I sigh deeply and offer up my project to God. I stop and help the boys work through their conflict and restore fellowship together. I ask for help to push through my work. I am surprised to find that I actually make some headway.

Oh friends, this is not a war we can win on our own. But the good news is, our Victor has come. We are no longer slaves to our emotions. The Shepherd of our heart may show us a new way, and we may find the grace to build our house instead of our own hands tearing it down. May it be, Lord!

First Family Dinner

Oh yes, I have a blog. I forgot there for a few months... Doh.

Without attempting to recap all I've missed, here is a new thing: Saturday Family Dinner (like a melding of Sabbath Dinner of "What Have You" acclaim and pizza night from my childhood).

Yes, we pretty much always have dinner together. And yes, Saturday was already pizza night. So what's actually new?

Well, not so very much. Special new dishes. A centerpiece. Root beer in actual glasses. The goal: re-casting Saturday dinner as a time for special enjoyment of one another, special preparation for worship at church on Sunday, special celebration of the sweet gifts of God to our family in Jesus.

It was a fun beginning. Calvin grooving in his seat to the music. The discovery of a big, industrious ant in the centerpiece flowers. Lots of homemade pizza. Chocolate syrup stains on the tablecloth. Lots of giggles over the notion of barbecue sauce-topped ice cream. All the normal shenanigans, plus a little special flavor.

It's not really a time to hone dinnertime etiquette with the cloth napkins and rare appearance of knives at each place (though wouldn't that be a pleasant by-product!). We are trying to expand our own capacity to enjoy the gifts God has put right in our laps, invest with a sense of priority and heritage in our boys, and prepare our hearts for gathering with believers and praising God on the Lord's Day. 

A joyful start to something I hope will grow richer with time.

To hear more about "Sabbath dinner," give this a listen.

1 Year Old!

1 year old!

 11 months old

10 months old

9 months old

8 months old

7 months old

6 months old

 
 5 months old

4 months old

3 months old

 2 months old

1 month old

2 weeks old

Dear Calvin,

How did this happen? You are 1! No more tiny baby...

Here are our big milestones of late:

- Summer has come! Your first application of sunscreen was pretty cute. You gave the biggest grin at funny mommy tickling your face all over.

- You have some little pegs you love holding. You don't let go of them for anything, so when you go crawling along, it sounds like a peg leg. Super cute.

- You'll still hang out happily on my back in the Ergo pretty much indefinitely if we're outside. Inside, I'd better be moving around or you get bored fairly fast. But it is easy to take you shopping or trek around church or go on walks since you're still such a happy little papoose on my back.

- You made it through the 4-day retreat without me! Wouldn't take a bottle (you silly goose), but you just ate a big bowl of oatmeal and milk and baby food whenever hungry, and that seemed to work out fine. (I, on the other hand, had a horrible case of plugged ducts while we were gone. But it was still worth it for a lovely and refreshing retreat!)

- In the midst of some recent teething, you developed a really troubling tendency to bite while nursing. I didn't know if I would pull through, but thank the Lord you're doing much better now and I didn't get any infections or anything. This prompted a move toward whole milk (which you love mixed in cereal), adding meat to your diet, and cutting down to 2 feedings a day. Good work!

- You are a bright-eyed sweetie pie, cheerfully heading into the nursery, and giving me big smiles and happy all-body bounces when I pick you up again. You love exploring things (and can find your way into many quiet little corners full of chokables) and love being outside.

- Your very own riddle: How is it that someone who is not a year old yet has been alive to celebrate (outside the womb) not one but two Father's Days? Bonus fun trivia: You share that very notable distinction with Isaiah Lee, another Father's Day baby!

- To celebrate your birthday today, you pulled yourself up to standing for the first time! You look huge standing up...

 - You are not altogether blown away by the experience of cake. Curious, but all in all you prefer Cheerios.

I'm quietly grieving a significant friend and mentor from when I was in high school. So many hard things in saying an unexpected good-bye, but here are the thoughts that came flooding to mind when I paused to write some memories to the family:

One of the biggest orienting truths in my life is that God is an Author. Hebrews 12:2 says, “…fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith…” Being an English major myself, I love that image, but also I find it helps when life feels like it has spun out of control and I’m disoriented, can’t make heads or tails of things.

An author does things in a story that don’t make sense until the end. Many twists and turns, moments of heartbreak and despair, even grievous wrongs, in the hand of a good author still may lead to a beautiful conclusion. A most happy ending....

I grieve with you, wonder at God’s ways, wait to see the end of the story one day. But I am confident, God is not finished yet. May His nearness be your good.

My son, we serve a great God, one whose "thoughts are not our thoughts and ways are not our ways" (Isaiah 55:8-9). But in His kindness He has decisively settled the question, "Does God really love us?"

He answered that question by doing the unthinkable: giving His own Son so that He could make us His own children. 1 John 3:1 says, "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are." So we are, little man, through faith in Jesus alone as the payment for our sin and gift of righteousness for our account. And in Him, no matter what comes in life, we may bank on the everlasting love of God, that He is for us, that He will carry us, that He will bring our story to its beautiful good ending one day.

My big 1-year-old, how we pray that this will be your eternal hope and joy. Christ in you, the hope of glory.

I love you, sweet Calvin,
Your momma

11 Months Old!

 11 months old!

Note: This shot captured shortly after the shot I missed because I had to catch the baby falling headfirst off the blue chair...

10 months old

9 months old

8 months old

7 months old

6 months old

 
 5 months old

4 months old

3 months old

 2 months old

1 month old

2 weeks old

Dear Calvin,

You are 11 months old! So close to completing your first year! What ever happened to my tiny little baby in the scrawny white onesie?

This month's news:

- You crawl! And it is the sweetest little shuffling crawl you ever did see. You might not stay right where I put you, but if you're going to venture somewhere, it likely will be to come find me. I love it that you still want to hang out with me. Let's keep it that way for a good long while, hmm?

- I haven't noticed any new teeth popping through, but you are drooling, cranky, ill-sleeping, drippy-nosed, and diaper-rashed this week, so perhaps you're working on some good ones.

- Happy places are typically 1) in the Ergo on my back, 2) in your booster seat eating Cheerios, 3) sitting on the floor playing with toys, or 4) exploring all the non-baby-toy articles that are far more fascinating scattered all around. Your brothers continue to be cheerful and persuasive distractions for you, even in your cranky stretches.

- Your favorite words are mamama and dat. Dat. Dat. It's just a chatty, conversational term.

- After crawling, falling over, or flopping onto your belly, you are able to get back to sitting again. Strong boy.

- Remember how mad you used to get at me when I plotted and pushed to get you to take a bottle? Right. Well, a couple weeks ago when I had to take Josiah to the urgency room I couldn't get home by bedtime. So I told Daddy to try warming up a bottle for you, just on a whim. And you slurped the whole thing down with a grin! So how bout that. (I hope that this bodes well for next week when Momma and Dad go away on our retreat!)

- I finally pulled out the 18 month clothes bin. They are not too big.

- You are a Cheerios monster. You'll sit in your chair happily, munching Cheerios for an indeterminate amount of time.



I'm digging into Galatians now, trying to wrap my mind around the thread of insights and arguments that Paul lays out here.

This rings out like a bell:

We know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Christ Jesus. (Galatians 2:16a)

Do you know what that means? It means something huge, something monumental. When we stand before God, we will never find acceptance based on a list of good things that we have done. No, indeed. Instead, we point to Jesus. He's the perfect One! He did all the good, and He paid for all my bad. I trust in Him alone to come to You, Father! Thank You, Jesus, for making the way for me to be with You forever!

Little son, how we pray that you will find Jesus to be your greatest treasure, the One who covers over your sin, the One who gives you a new good heart to walk in His ways.

I love you, Mr. Calvin, my big "two-armsful-of-baby,"
Your momma

What Is God Doing?

God rules over all. Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above. He holds all things together by the word of His power. There are no rogue molecules, acting out of order from His purpose or plan. Of course, these truths are the deepest bedrock of joy in all the beautiful moments and gifts of each day.

But sometimes in our weakness, in our suffering and pain, the reality that God is in charge .... that He could change this in a second if He chose ... that He is the hand giving the hardship ... it brings its own temptation to question and wonder. What is God doing, anyway? He says He loves us. He calls us to pray and promises to answer. He says He cares about our cares. So why isn't He doing anything? The suffering itself gets layered with the weight of hopelessness, cynicism, despair.


The enemy would just love for us to take the lie, hook, line, and sinker: This is all totally pointless.

There are plenty of times when we can't actually see what God is up to in the middle of our trial. So let's build an arsenal of evidence, a smorgasbord of possibilities, a pile of reasons to stand in confidence in the middle of the pain.

What might God be doing in your difficulty, your pain and loss, your suffering? Here is a sampling of 31 possibilities from God's word (one for every day of the month!):

1. Starting a new church (Galatians 4:13)
2. Giving an opportunity for someone else to love you like Jesus Christ Himself (Galatians 4:14)
3. Blessing others (Galatians 4:15)
4. Filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of His body, the church (Colossians 1: 24)
5. Producing even greater progress of the gospel (Philippians 1:12)
6. Giving others far more courage to speak the word of God without fear (Philippians 1:14)
7. Multiplying thanks to God by joining together many peoples' prayers for your help and deliverance (2 Corinthians 1:10-11)
8. Comforting and saving others (2 Corinthians 1:6)
9. Helping you learn God's statutes (Psalm 119:71)
10. Helping you keep God's word (Psalm 119:67)
11. Proving that God is with you in trouble (Psalm 91:15)
12. Perfecting you (1 Peter 5:10)
13. Confirming you (1 Peter 5:10)
14. Strengthening you (1 Peter 5:10)
15. Establishing you (1 Peter 5:10)
16. Giving you the opportunity to entrust your soul to a faithful Creator in doing what is right (1 Peter 4:19) 
17. Testing you (1 Peter 4:12)
18. Producing for you an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison (2 Corinthians 4:17)
19. Granting approval so that you may receive the crown of life (James 1:12)
20. Giving endurance (James 1:3)
21. Making you perfect and complete, lacking in nothing (James 1:4)
22. Protecting you from friendship with the world that would make you an enemy of God (James 4:4)
23. Leading you to prayer (James 5:13)
24. Giving a blessing (James 5:11)
25. Giving you great reward in heaven (Matthew 5:12)
26. Saving many, many lives (Genesis 50:20)
27. Allowing you to receive comfort so that you may give comfort to others in their suffering (2 Corinthians 1:4)
28. Proving the foundation of your life (Matthew 7:25)
29. Disciplining you as His own precious child (Hebrews 12:7)
30.  Demonstrating to the watching world that you have a hope that is not based on circumstances or comfort (1 Peter 3:15)
31. Overcoming the accuser of the brethren (Revelation 12:11)

Stand firm in faith. God is for you. He is working. His hand is writing your specific story in a way that will one day bring our hearts to wonder and worship. One day we will see.

John Teaching

A couple weeks ago, one of our "icebreaker questions" in my middle school small group was, What is the happiest day of your life?

When it was my turn, I found it surprisingly hard to answer. Of course, there are the regular suspects... wedding day, birth of a child (but which one?). But when it comes right down to it, I told the girls, those were all major milestones that ushered in deep joys. But I don't know if I actually felt the joy of it most deeply right then.

It came to me that I think the happiest days I can remember have been either preparing or teaching Bible study.

So, from some of the happiest days of my life:

John 4
John 10
John 13:1-30
John 18