What 14 Months of Mom-hood Has Taught Me

Victor's good friend from nursery is having a baby any day (as in, one of the nursery workers, in case that was confusing). 

It has me thinking back to 14 months ago, which is exactly the day that Ben and I sat in the doctor's office looking at our white-garbed doctor tell us that this baby needed to come now, so we should go home and get our things.  I had pretty much braced myself for being two-weeks overdue (and hadn't experienced anything remotely resembling a contraction), so even with the packed hospital bags, car seat installed, and polka-dot sheet on the crib mattress, I still cried from the shock of it.

So many things changing so fast.

An overnight wait, the IV drip of pitocin, and 17 hours of labor later, we were parents.

It was underwhelming in a sense.  I cried during every single birth video in our child-birth class, so I expected to be a puddle when they handed me that little cherry-faced bundle, but there were no tears.  Just a thankful, throbbing, amazed deep breath.  And then they swept him off to the NICU and the real adventure began.

It feels so long ago and not long ago, all at once.  I'm glad to hit the 14-month mark.  And looking back, here's what I'd say to someone about to embark on the journey of motherhood.

1. Just think, God calls Himself our Father.

I've grown up in a loving environment, married a wonderful man, and heard of the love of God for ages.  And yet, a new depth opened in my heart with the arrival of my child.  I ache when he hurts.  I delight to satisfy his desires.  I love to surprise him with good things.  I will not let him wreck his life with his foolish little inclinations.

And considering all these parenting impulses, I think I understand just a little bit better what the love of God means, why I so often don't understand, and how trusting Him even when I don't understand gives Him pleasure.

2. Don't fall prey to the comparison trap.

An alarming quantity of persuasive, compelling, and contradictory advice will come your way as a mother.  Friends of good intentions, not to mention books, blogs, doctors, strangers, and your own expectations can be almost paralyzing when it comes to ... well, anything.

Don't try to please everyone.  Actually, don't try to please anyone, but commit your way to the Lord, look for some wise people who have gone down the road before and some other moms who might be facing what you're facing now, and be a team with your husband.

3. Keep your perspective.

Your brain does odd things on a diet of steady sleep deprivation. Don't be alarmed by emotional winds that blow for no apparent reason.  And keep working to renew your mind with Bible truth.  Don't set rigid expectations, but find ways to keep God's promises and character fresh in your mind.  Sing hymns to your little one (soothing for the both of you).  And when irrational, overwhelming fear, stress, anxiety, or anger hit, give your cares to the one who cares for you.


I'm a different person these days.  I've got a different capacity and different life.  Wouldn't trade it for anything.  And can't wait to see what God has in store for you too.