Crying Uncle

That's what my good friend Grace used to say, when a situation was just over her head and there was nothing left to do but surrender to God.  She'd throw up her hands, close her eyes, and say, Uncle.

The past couple days have been disheartening in their lack of news.  Victor is still coughing, still not eating well, still not sleeping well.  Yesterday there were lots of uglies coming out of this mommy heart, as the fatigue combined with frustration and a sense of helplessness.

Today started out with a similar emotional quagmire.  When I'm tired, the temptations are thick.  I felt numb, with brain and body buzzing of fatigue and discouragement.

Ben and I both felt like it's just been too long without any progress, so I called first thing to make a doctor appointment for Victor.  Then realized later that I made the appointment with the one doctor in our practice who had been "not recommended" to me.  So I called back and asked to re-schedule for a later time with a different doctor, and after going through the whole story again (in a not-so-coherent fashion, I'm afraid), I hung up feeling a combination of annoying, incompetent, and faithless.

I almost cancelled it again, but Ben still thought it would be good to at least ask our questions to a doctor, so we went as planned, despite it being well past naptime.

The pediatrician we saw (who also saw Victor exactly 3 weeks ago at Cold #1) was very careful and listened well.  His breathing sounded totally clear, so she pretty much ruled out pneumonia (plus, no fever).  She recommended no more Prednisolone (which I'm glad to quit) and said we should continue treatments of Albuterol and Budesonide to calm his airway and lungs.  And she said he had an infection in one ear, which is probably the reason his body is still producing excess mucus and exacerbating the cough.  Knock out the infection, and the gunk should clear up and his airways settle down again.  And she also prescribed an additional round of Budesonide, because we only have 9 vials left, and insurance was saying we couldn't get a refill until a week from tomorrow.  (We can pray that one goes through.)

So... besides the fact that Victor always perks up when he gets to go outside, see lots of trucks, and talk to people (little social butterfly that he is), I am feeling heartened at the Lord's kindness to give us another little boost of help and direction. 

I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.  

Postscript: Just to show what a funk I was in yesterday, I got this cute video of Victor.  He has discovered twirling and has been doing it all the time now ... including in his crip (which was nearly disastrous).  And I didn't want to post it because it is so happy and I was so NOT.  But here it is...