Last night in the emergency room
Well, a new day with new mercies.
Victor was still coughing quite badly this morning, but for the middle of the day he improved, and then worsened a little toward evening. He is so cuddly and needs lots of snuggles from Momma today. We're giving the Action Bible Songs DVD a thorough workout.
It wrenches to see and hear him struggling so, but the Lord is showing lots of kindnesses.
So glad for some meds to ease the cough somewhat (despite the jitters coming back again from the Albuterol ... but we see the doctor tomorrow, so will ask about the alternate med).
Glad for the milder weather. We went out for two walks today, and I think the cool air (and all the trucks) perked him up a little bit.
Glad for Ben's help. He gave me an hour to get some work done (I'm way behind in emails), gave Victor a bath, helped with laundry, and was generally a cheerful presence tonight.
Glad for care of friends and for "family away from family" who love us so well.
Glad for the promises that God cares for our cares and answers prayer. Glad that He never wastes hardship but turns it for our good. Glad that He is a good shepherd who watches over His little ones.
Lies creep in, especially when I'm exhausted. God isn't doing anything. We're in the exact same shape we would be without Him. He is ignoring all my pleas for help. He could heal Victor in a moment ... but He won't.
Something I read in A Million Ways to Die came to mind today. God often positions humans in circumstances of dire difficulty and struggle and then seems to linger in the background, holding back a tangible response while His child calls and seeks. Like when Lazarus was sick, why did Jesus wait 4 days before coming?
He wasn't being sadistic. He wasn't lacking any love for Lazarus or his sisters. He wasn't playing games. He was granting a gift--an opportunity for heart-exploding faith to grow. What would have been different if He had come and healed Lazarus at the beginning? What would have been missing?
A 3D picture of His own resurrection power. A lived-out example of His trust-worthiness and
goodness even in the valley of the shadow of death. An unforgettable witness of His victory over sin and death. Broken-hearted, wondering worship for Mary and Martha that would prize Him and worship Him and trust Him even when evidence seemed irrefutable that He was the reason for this beloved brother's death. And then a total vindication of His love--not only in this age but also in the age to come.
So, we have good reason to trust Him. And when His love comes cloaked in the horrible, heart-rending, or harmful, then we get a workout in faith, to test Him and find Him faithful yet again.
Amy, this is so true. It really blessed me and ministered to me to read this! We recently had an intense time of sickness where Esther and I were both extremely sick for weeks...so it resonates with me.
ReplyDeletewow. no words, just prayers.
ReplyDeleteRead this post three times and still trying to let it sink in.